


How do we even save the world like this.

by darknightskye



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Honestly this is just a mess, M/M, Multi, Not Serious, ana is the supreme meme overlord, feeling pretty gay in this chilis tonight, it's a chatfic, just fun, none of them ever sleep cause of this fucking group chat, overwatch is just thot patrol, too many memes to count
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2018-08-21 18:26:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 47,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8255887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darknightskye/pseuds/darknightskye
Summary: Overwatch is called back to action, and with it the old chatroom finally comes back to life.Chaos and memes follow.Blame Hana.





	1. Revival

**[HANA SONG HAS ENTERED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

**HANA:** oh man i didn't know overwatch had a cHATROOM

  
**HANA:** also what the fuck is this name

  
**HANA:** i mean ive barely been in overwatch for a week, but idk how we do it either

  
**HANA:** u GHHH WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE

  
**HANA:** **_@everyone_** someone please help me revive this place

 

**[JESSE MCCREE, LENA OXTON, AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED how do we save the world like this]**

 

**JESSE:** howdy

  
**GENJI:** jesse, why must you do this

  
**JESSE:** do what partner

  
**GENJI:** even in the chatroom

  
**GENJI:** you must act like a complete loser

  
**LENA:** Aw, don't hurt the bloke's feelings :(

  
**GENJI:** don't get me wrong, I love him like a brother

  
**JESSE:** boy do i love your brother

  
**GENJI:** stop.

  
**HANA:** ew gross old men

  
**JESSE:** hey i ain't that old

 

**[ANGELA ZIEGLER HAS ENTERED how do we save the world like this]**

**ANGELA:** But still, please be mindful of your age, Jesse.

  
**JESSE:** angie, you're the same age as me

  
**GENJI:** but she doesn't smoke like a chimney

  
**LENA:** Or has a drink in her hands whenever we see her

  
**HANA:** hey be nice to him

  
**HANA:** he's like my cool gay uncle

  
**JESSE:** aw gee, thanks kiddo

  
**HANA:** haha just kidding he is a loser

  
**GENJI:** you're already my favorite new recruit

  
**LENA:** Love, you do realize your brother is a new recruit too, right?

  
**GENJI:** i am well aware

  
**GENJI:** but Hana does not have a stick up her ass like Hanzo does

  
**GENJI:** jesse, are you proud I used one of your southern sayings

  
**JESSE:** almost makes up for y'all ganging up on me

  
**ANGELA:** We simply care about you :(

  
**LENA:** Yeah!

  
**HANA:** gay

  
**GENJI:** could describe most of overwatch

  
**JESSE:** honestly

  
**ANGELA:** Very true.

 

**[WINSTON HAS ENTERED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

**LENA:** Hey big guy :D

  
**WINSTON:** Hello, Lena.

  
**HANA:** yo winston who are the mods

  
**WINSTON:** I actually came here to address that situation. Since I cannot be here often, I'm assigning mod roles to all senior Overwatch members. Including Blackwatch.

 

**[WINSTON HAS PROMOTED GENJI SHIMADA, JESSE MCCREE, LENA OXTON, MEI-LING ZHOU, TORBJÖRN LINDHOLM, REINHARDT WILHELM, AND ANGELA ZIEGLER TO MODERATORS]**

 

**JESSE:** HA

  
**JESSE:** SUCK IT Y'ALL IM A MOD

  
**ANGELA:** Jesse, most of us here are.

  
**LENA:** Yeah :/

  
**HANA:** NO FAIR

  
**JESSE:** H A

  
**WINSTON:** Also, I will be changing everyone's screen name to their call-signs.

 

**MERCY:** Smart.

  
**GENJI:** haha mine stays the same

  
**D.VA:** well you don't have a cool call-sign like me

  
**GENJI:** my name is already plenty cool

  
**GENJI:** I am the coolest.

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA HAS ENTERED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

**HANZO:** No you are not.

  
**MCCREE:** sweet jesus he's actually here

  
**GENJI:** brother, you are just jealous that I look cooler than you

  
**MCCREE:** hey hanzo looks plenty cool

  
**D.VA:** you only say that cause he always has his tit out

  
**TRACER:** She's not lying :/

  
**MCCREE:** y'all are the worst

  
**MERCY:** Jesse, you are too obvious. You need to be more casual with your advances.

  
**HANZO:** Are you really giving him advice while I'm here?

  
**HANZO:** I already regret joining.

  
**MCCREE:** now dont you worry us here in overwatch will make it worth your while

  
**GENJI:** stop

  
**HANZO:** I'm only here for Genji.

  
**MCCREE:** well dang, darling. at least give the rest of us a chance

  
**MERCY:** Would it not be wise to be acquainted with Genji's friends?

  
**HANZO:** I suppose.

  
**GENJI:** come on, brother these are my best friends

  
**TRACER:** Awww!

  
**GENJI:** give them a chance

  
**GENJI:** even Jesse

  
**HANZO:** Fine.

  
**GENJI:**  彼らにチャンスを上げてくれ

  
**HANZO:**  お前だけのために。

  
**HANZO:** Now, I will go train.

  
**MCCREE:** i'll save ya a seat at dinner darlin 

  
**HANZO:** Thank you, cowman.

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA HAS EXITED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

**MERCY:** Jesse McCree, you are hopeless.

  
**MCCREE:** shut it

  
**MCCREE:** at least I'm straight forward with it

  
**D.VA:** not gonna lie i read "at least I'm straight" and I fucking died

  
**GENJI:** lmao same

  
**TRACER:** lolol

  
**MERCY:** What are you insinuating?

  
**MCCREE:**  angie

  
**MCCREE:** you can barely say a word to Fareeah

  
**D.VA:** OOOOOO SHIT

  
**D.VA:** YOU CALLED HER OUT

  
**MERCY:** Well... she's just very beautiful.

  
**TRACER:** :o Angie's got a crush!

  
**GENJI:** Dr. Ziegler, you should go for it

  
**D.VA:** yeah! go angel mom!

  
**MCCREE:** what the hell guys you were supposed to call her a hypocrite

  
**MCCREE:** none of y'all are ever on my side

  
**GENJI:** jesse. I can tell that Hanzo does not completely hate you

  
**MCCREE:** ya mean it?

  
**GENJI:** yes.

  
**GENJI:** he's willing to sit next to you at dinner.

  
**GENJI:** I believe it is a good sign.

  
**MCCREE:** bless your heart genji 

  
**D.VA:** aww, good luck 패자 삼촌 

  
**MCCREE:** why

  
**TRACER:** Don't worry Jess, I think you're plenty cool  <3

  
**MCCREE:** aw

  
**MCCREE:** thanks Lena

  
**GENJI:** and also, Dr. Ziegler.

  
**GENJI:** some advice with Fareeah.

  
**GENJI:** just remember, she is another human being, like you and me.

  
**GENJI:** well

 

**GENJI:** shit

 

**GENJI:** you know what I mean.

  
**D.VA:** yeah! just remember in your head, she's just another pretty lady. no reason to get nervous.

  
**MERCY:** Hmm. Alright. I will try.

  
**MERCY:** Thank you, both.

  
**D.VA:** np!

  
**D.VA:** now. all love life issues are over.

  
**D.VA:** im gonna play games and stream

  
**D.VA:** LATER LOSERS

 

**[D.VA HAS EXITED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

**MERCY:** Ah, I have paperwork to finish before dinner time.

  
**TRACER:** I'm actually gonna go for a run :D

  
**TRACER:** I'll see you lot at dinner!

  
**MERCY:** As will I.

 

**[TRACER AND MERCY HAVE EXITED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

**GENJI:** so jesse

  
**MCCREE:** yeah partner

  
**GENJI:** I sincerely wish you luck with my brother.

  
**MCCREE:** aw shucks

  
**MCCREE:** thanks Genji

  
**GENJI:** if anyone could take the stick out of his ass, it would definitely be you

  
**GENJI:** bah, this is too much lovey-dovey garbage

  
**GENJI:** would you like to train together?

  
**MCCREE:** sure

  
**MCCREE:** ill meet ya in room 4 then

  
**GENJI:** alright

 

**[JESSE MCCREE AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE EXITED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

**WINSTON:** ...

  
**WINSTON:** I really regret making them all mods.

 

**[WINSTON HAS EXITED how do we even save the world like this]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, my first fic  
> and it's a chatfic shitpost  
> a multi-chapter chatfic shitpost :^)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy it, I've had a ton of fun writing it.  
> update schedule's gonna be a little weird due to school  
> but expect one every few days
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Translation notes: (please feel free to correct me, I use a translator. I can only type in English and Spanish)  
> \- 彼らにチャンスを上げてくれ : Give them a chance  
> \- お前だけのために。: Only for you.  
> \- 패자 삼촌 : loser uncle


	2. Shimada vs. Shimada

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji likes pissing his brother off. (And keeping the rest of the gang up all night.)
> 
> Also Jesse McCree is fucking gay.

**[D.VA, TRACER, GENJI SHIMADA, AND LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS HAVE ENTERED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

 **D.VA:** oh man that stream was fucking awesome

  
**GENJI:** i agree

  
**TRACER:** Yeah, they really liked all of us :D

  
**D.VA:** who wouldn't

  
**D.VA:** i mean

  
**D.VA:** we have me. the greatest gamer of all time

  
**D.VA:** then lúcio

  
**GENJI:** everyone loves him

  
**LÚCIO:** you guys are gonna make me blush

  
**TRACER:** It's true, love!

  
**LÚCIO:** blushing

  
**GENJI:** cute

  
**D.VA:** gay

  
**GENJI:** pfff

  
**GENJI:** sweet little Hana

  
**GENJI:** how many times must I say

  
**GENJI:** that is all of overwatch.

  
**TRACER:** Yep.

  
**D.VA:** lmao

  
**D.VA:** anyway

  
**D.VA:** and we had genji. the coolest guy alive

  
**GENJI:** i am honored

  
**LÚCIO:** yeah, dude

  
**LÚCIO:** are all cyborgs that cool

  
**GENJI:** no

  
**GENJI:** i was the coolest even before i was almost murdered

  
**TRACER:** I'd believe it.

  
**D.VA:** ya same

  
**D.VA:** and finally we had lena

  
**D.VA:** she's just so happy all the time

  
**LÚCIO:** it was a good contrast against all the angry yelling

  
**D.VA:** excuse you

  
**D.VA:** my yelling is tactical

  
**D.VA:** it helps me with my skills at games

  
**GENJI:** exactly

  
**GENJI:** all gamers know this

  
**TRACER:** :/

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA HAS ENTERED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

 **HANZO:** Why are you all up. It's 3 in the morning.

  
**GENJI:** why are you up

  
**HANZO:** Shut up.

  
**D.VA:** i like this guy

  
**GENJI:** hana i thought you were on my side

  
**D.VA:** i take no sides

  
**D.VA:** im not a complete idiot

  
**HANZO:** At least there is one person in Overwatch that is tolerable.

  
**TRACER:** :o

  
**GENJI:** im hurt

  
**GENJI:** well not really

  
**GENJI:** hana is great

  
**D.VA:** i know

  
**LÚCIO:** girl, you gotta learn how to take compliments

  
**TRACER:** He's right :/

  
**D.VA:** nah

  
**D.VA:** im great at everything i do

  
**HANZO:** Genji. Stop blasting your terrible music. You know that I'm in the room next to you.

  
**GENJI:** precisely why im playing it

  
**TRACER:** Genji, be nice :(

  
**GENJI:** no

  
**HANZO:** If you don't stop, I will go in there myself and turn it off.

  
**GENJI** : 私を試して、兄

  
**HANZO** : なぜこのようなあんた。

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE EXITED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

 **D.VA:** lmao i wanna record this

  
**TRACER** : This isn't going to be good :(

  
**LÚCIO** : should i warn Dr. Ziegler?

  
**D.VA** : nah it's just brother things

  
**LÚCIO** : yeah, I'm warning her

  
**TRACER** : Good idea love.

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS ENTERED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

 **MCCREE** : what in the fresh hell is going on

  
**MCCREE** : wait nevermind

  
**MCCREE** : i read

  
**MCCREE** : well shit

  
**LÚCIO** : **_@MERCY_** Dr. Ziegler, please read above

  
**D.VA** : i hear yelling

  
**D.VA** : brb gonna record

 

**[D.VA HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 **TRACER** : :(

  
**MCCREE** : she better share with us

  
**LÚCIO** : dude she'll share it with everyone

  
**MCCREE** : true

 

**[MERCY HAS ENTERED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

 **MERCY** : Oh my.

  
**MERCY** : I will have the medical wing prepped as a precaution.

  
**LÚCIO** : doc, you need any help?

  
**MERCY** : Help would be appreciated.

  
**LÚCIO** : sure, I'm omw

 

**[LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS HAS EXITED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

 **MCCREE** : hey y'all the yelling stopped

  
**MCCREE** : and the music did too

  
**MERCY** : Jesse, don't you dare get involved in all this.

  
**MCCREE** : aw come on angie 

  
**MCCREE** : it's been years since anything exciting happened to any of us

  
**MERCY** : ...

  
**MERCY** : Fine.

  
**MCCREE** : YES

  
**MCCREE** : THANKS ANG 

  
**MERCY** : One condition.

  
**MCCREE** : shoot

  
**MERCY** : Help me with Fareeah.

  
**MCCREE** : angie are you asking me to be your wingman

  
**MERCY** : ... Yes.

  
**MCCREE** : omg

  
**MCCREE** : ill help ya

  
**MERCY** : Thank you, Jesse.

  
**MERCY** : <3

  
**MCCREE** : <3

  
**MERCY** : Now, please go check on those three, please.

  
**MCCREE** : gotcha

 

**[JESSE MCCREE AND MERCY HAVE EXITED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

 **TRACER** : Welp, guess I'll get in on the drama too :D

 

**[TRACER HAS EXITED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

**-**

 

**[D.VA, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, HANZO SHIMADA, AND TRACER HAVE ENTERED how do we even save the world like this]**

 

 **HANZO** : How can someone's room be that disgusting.

  
**GENJI** : you come into my house

  
**D.VA** : stop with your old memes

  
**GENJI** : shhhh

  
**GENJI** : brother if you think my room is bad

  
**GENJI** : never go into jesse's

  
**MCCREE** : why

  
**D.VA** : OOOOOOO SHIT

  
**TRACER** : Genji, be nice :(

  
**TRACER** : Jesse's like your best friend

  
**GENJI** : he is

  
**GENJI** : but im just speaking the truth

  
**D.VA** : typing*

  
**MCCREE** : my room ain't that bad

  
**MCCREE** : i bet y'all hana's is worse

  
**TRACER** : :o

  
**D.VA** : h ow dare you

  
**D.VA** : my rooms actually decent

  
**D.VA** : i can't stream all the time with my room looking like a fucking dump

  
**D.VA** : speaking of which

  
**D.VA** : hanzo, 패자 삼촌

  
**MCCREE** : what will it take for you to stop calling me that

  
**D.VA** : let me try your whiskey

  
**MCCREE** : nuh uh missy

  
**MCCREE** : it's for adults

  
**D.VA** : WHAT THE FUCK

  
**D.VA** : I'M NINETEEN. AND WE'RE STATIONED IN SPAIN

  
**D.VA** : S P A I N

  
**TRACER** : Yeah, Jess. Technically she can drink here.

  
**GENJI** : just let her, cowboy

  
**MCCREE** : y'all are supposed to be on MY SIDE

  
**HANZO** : Just let her try it.

  
**MCCREE** : shit

  
**MCCREE** : fine, but only cause you asked

  
**GENJI** : he didn't ask

  
**D.VA** : lmao yeah he demanded

  
**MCCREE** : shhh

  
**TRACER** : You really are hopeless.

  
**HANZO** : I am still here.

  
**MCCREE** : i hate y'all

  
**GENJI** : we love you too

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS CHANGED THE CHAT NAME TO jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **D.VA** : true

  
**TRACER** : Mhm.

  
**MCCREE** : why am i your best friend

  
**GENJI** : cause you know im great

  
**D.VA** : anyway

  
**D.VA** : hanzo, gay uncle

  
**D.VA:** will you two stream with me tonight?

  
**HANZO** : Fine.

  
**TRACER** : :o

  
**MCCREE** : yes

  
**D.VA** : FUCK YEAH

  
**GENJI** : wow

  
**GENJI** : did not see that coming

  
**HANZO** : What game will we be playing?

  
**D.VA** : i actually found an old one

  
**D.VA** : it's called Red Dead Redemption

  
**GENJI** : oh no

  
**MCCREE** : THAT GAME

  
**MCCREE** : IS MY SHIT

  
**D.VA** : lmao I knew it

 

**[MERCY HAS ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **MERCY** : Is everything alright?

  
**D.VA** : yeah mom they were just yelling

  
**D.VA** : where'd lúcio go?

  
**MERCY** : He has gone to bed.

  
**D.VA** : weak

  
**GENJI** : i apologize for worrying you, Dr. Ziegler.

  
**MERCY** : Just please make sure it does not happen again.

  
**GENJI** : Understood.

  
**HANZO** : I apologize as well.

  
**MERCY** : It is fine.

  
**MCCREE** : angie, try and get some sleep

  
**TRACER** : Hypocrite

  
**D.VA** : ^

  
**MERCY** : I suggest you all get some sleep.

  
**MCCREE** : it ain't that late

  
**GENJI** : jesse, it is 4:30 in the morning

  
**MCCREE** : well shit

  
**MERCY** : Please, everyone head to bed.

  
**D.VA** : aw

  
**D.VA** : k mom

  
**TRACER** : :( okay

  
**MCCREE** : night y'all

  
**HANZO** : Goodnight.

  
**GENJI** : you too

 

**[D.VA, MERCY, TRACER, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, my first fic  
> and it's a chatfic shitpost  
> a multi-chapter chatfic shitpost :^)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy it, I've had a ton of fun writing it.  
> update schedule's gonna be a little weird due to school  
> but expect one every few days
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Translation notes: (please feel free to correct me, I use a translator. I can only type in English and Spanish)  
> \- 私を試して、兄 : try me, brother  
> \- なぜこのようなあんた。: Why are you like this.  
> \- 패자 삼촌 : loser uncle


	3. the fucks a dank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The greatest memer of Overwatch makes a grand return.
> 
> And McCree fucks up as usual.

**[MERCY, PHARAH, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **MCCREE** : wow

  
**MCCREE** : it ain't even 9 in the morning

  
**MERCY** : I can't believe Ana is alive...

  
**PHARAH** : I'm very happy that she's alive, but not even a call? In all those years?

  
**GENJI** : pretty fucked up

  
**REINHARDT** : exactly

  
**REINHARDT** : my friends, even through this, we should remain happy

  
**MCCREE** : i mean she's alive and all so that's good

  
**GENJI** : she's definitely still the same Ana

 

 **GENJI** : gave Fareeah the biggest hug i've ever seen

  
**MERCY** : Haha, scolding Jesse about his arm.

  
**PHARAH** : Yes, she always thought of Jesse as a son.

  
**MCCREE** : aw

  
**MCCREE** : well y'all really did feel like family

  
**MCCREE** : hell i still can't believe that you've grown so much

  
**PHARAH** : Jesse I am 32. Of course I'm grown up.

  
**MCCREE** : but I remember when you were 12

  
**MCCREE** : TWELVE

  
**MERCY** : Yes, Jesse. We were all younger back then.

  
**REINHARDT** : you were all like little children

  
**GENJI** : lmao i wasn't there

  
**GENJI** : but I've seen pictures

  
**GENJI** : you were all adorable

  
**MCCREE** : adorable

  
**MCCREE** : i was a MAN

  
**GENJI** : "was"

  
**MCCREE** : shit

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: i was a MAN (JESSE MCCREE)]**

 

 **MERCY** : You still act like a child.

  
**PHARAH** : At least there are a few adults here.

  
**MCCREE** : hey im an adult

  
**PHARAH** : Jesse I saw you watching cartoons a few nights ago with Hana.

  
**MCCREE** : IT WAS ANIME

  
**MCCREE** : FUCK OFF

  
**MCCREE** : SHE FORCED ME TO

  
**GENJI** : cowboy bebop?

  
**MCCREE** : yes

  
**MERCY** : Why don't you act more mature? Like Fareeah.

  
**PHARAH** : I'd say you're the most mature out of all of us, Dr. Ziegler.

  
**MERCY** : Please, just call me Angela.

  
**PHARAH** : If you insist, Angela. ;)

  
**GENJI** : gay

  
**REINHARDT** : get a room

  
**MCCREE** : ^

 

**[WINSTON HAS ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **WINSTON** : Good morning, all.

  
**MERCY** : Good morning, Winston.

  
**WINSTON** : I have finished setting up Ana's agent I.D., and housing arrangements. Also, she has her communicator, so I will now be adding her to the chatroom.

 

**[WINSTON HAS ADDED ANA AMARI TO jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

**[WINSTON HAS PROMOTED ANA AMARI TO MODERATOR]**

 

 **WINSTON** : Now I will be off. There is work to be done.

 

**[WINSTON HAS EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **MCCREE** : aw hell shes gonna see the chat name

  
**PHARAH** : Rip.

  
**GENJI** : did you just meme on us

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **ANA** : she did meme

  
**ANA** : im so proud im about to cry

  
**PHARAH** : Mother, please don't cry.

  
**ANA** : ive taught you so well, my Fareeah

  
**ANA** : gg

  
**GENJI** : lmao

  
**MERCY** : We are very happy to have you back, Ms. Amari.

  
**MCCREE** : we really missed you ma.

  
**MCCREE** : MS.*

  
**MCCREE** : fuck

  
**MCCREE** : this is what happens when I wake up before 11

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: we really missed you ma. (JESSE MCCREE)]**

 

 **REINHARDT** : i missed you too

  
**REINHARDT** : i had no one to meme with

  
**GENJI** : offended

  
**MCCREE** : triggered

  
**REINHARDT** : why didn't you two tell me you know good memes

  
**ANA** : you're not even my children but I'm so proud

  
**MERCY** : Am I the only normal one here?

  
**ANA** : ya

  
**GENJI** : ya

  
**REINHARDT** : ya

  
**MCCREE** : ya

  
**PHARAH** : Why are you all like this.

  
**PHARAH** : Anyway, Angela, would you like to join me for breakfast?

  
**MERCY** : Yes, of course. It would be a pleasure.

  
**PHARAH** : Alright, I will meet you in the dining area.

  
**MERCY** : See you there.

 

**[MERCY AND PHARAH HAVE EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **ANA** : oh my god

  
**ANA** : my baby has a crush on Angela

  
**REINHARDT** : are you sure?

  
**ANA** : that's a negative

  
**ANA** : jk she definitely likes her

  
**MCCREE** : angie likes her too

  
**ANA** : oh my god

  
**ANA** : we have to make them a thing

  
**GENJI** : you already have a plan don't you

  
**ANA** : genji

  
**ANA** : you're really asking me

  
**ANA** : do I have a plan

  
**REINHARDT** : shame genji 

  
**GENJI** : mom please forgive me

  
**ANA** : hmmm

  
**ANA** : fine

  
**ANA** : only if you help Angela and Fareeah.

  
**GENJI** : why must everyone come to me for relationship advice

  
**MCCREE** : you're good with it

  
**GENJI** : obviously jesse 

  
**GENJI** : it's just so much work

  
**ANA** : ill share my tea with you if you help

  
**GENJI** : done.

  
**GENJI** : im helping

  
**REINHARDT** : I shall help too, my friends

  
**MCCREE** : same here

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA HAS ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **GENJI** : good morning, brother

  
**HANZO** : Good morning.

  
**MCCREE** : morning there darlin

  
**HANZO** : Why.

  
**ANA** : o shit who's this

  
**GENJI** : ms. Amari this is my brother, Hanzo

  
**HANZO** : Greetings.

  
**GENJI** : he's also a sniper

  
**GENJI** : hanzo, this is Ana Amari, one of the founding members of overwatch

  
**HANZO** : I know who she is.

  
**ANA** : lmao yeah im like a celebrity

  
**ANA** : well

  
**ANA** : was

  
**ANA** : till I "died"

  
**REINHARDT** : lol

  
**HANZO** : It is an honor to meet you, Ms. Amari.

  
**ANA** : thank

  
**MCCREE** : oh yeah hanzo btw

  
**MCCREE** : she's always like this

  
**HANZO** : I will tolerate it.

  
**ANA** : k nice

  
**HANZO** : You and Hana will get along.

  
**GENJI** : oh they would

  
**MCCREE** : dear lord help us

  
**ANA** : who's hana 

  
**ANA** : o shit I figured it out

  
**REINHARDT** : **_@D.VA_**

  
**MCCREE** : gramps why

  
**REINHARDT** : Ana and I must teach her the dankest of memes

  
**MCCREE** : the fucks a dank

  
**GENJI** : oh my god

  
**GENJI** : jesse stop saying stupid things

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: the fucks a dank (JESSE MCCREE)]**

 

 **HANZO** : Genji, how foolish is this man?

  
**GENJI** : very

  
**GENJI** : but he's great in all honesty

  
**ANA** : he's a sweet boy

  
**MCCREE** : ana

  
**MCCREE** : im not a kid anymore

  
**ANA** : you dress like a cowboy. you will always be a child to me

  
**HANZO** : ^

  
**HANZO** : Ms. Amari, I take back what I said before. We will most definitely get along.

  
**ANA** : lmao please dear, just call me Ana.

  
**MCCREE** : why are none of y'all ever on my side

  
**HANZO** : Fine, you are not a child.

  
**MCCREE** : thanks han

  
**HANZO** : You are just a childish man.

  
**GENJI** : pffff

  
**REINHARDT** : true

  
**MCCREE** : hit me while im down why dont ya

  
**ANA** : rip

  
**HANZO** : Cowboy, would you like to accompany me to breakfast?

  
**MCCREE** : YES

  
**MCCREE** : i mean

  
**MCCREE** : yeah sure

  
**HANZO** : I will be at your quarters in 10 minutes.

  
**MCCREE** : alright

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA HAS EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **MCCREE** : HOLY SHIT

  
**GENJI** : wow

  
**GENJI** : good luck

  
**ANA** : you have a crush too

  
**ANA** : you all need to stop growing up

  
**MCCREE** : ana please

  
**MCCREE** : lord have mercy on me

  
**REINHARDT** : do not make yourself look like an idiot, Jesse

  
**GENJI** : that's kinda impossible

  
**GENJI** : considering that he is jesse

  
**ANA** : honestly

  
**MCCREE** : god damnit guys

  
**MCCREE** : i actually wanted advice

  
**GENJI** : fine

  
**GENJI** : as i told you, he does not hate you

  
**GENJI** : my advice

  
**GENJI** : just be you. he'll be fine with it

  
**MCCREE** : shit thanks genji

  
**MCCREE** : i dunno what id do without you

  
**ANA** : gay

  
**REINHARDT** : good luck my friend

  
**REINHARDT** : I am off to breakfast.

  
**GENJI** : as am i

  
**GENJI** : good luck jesse

 

**[REINHARDT AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **ANA** : im very proud of whoever changed the chatroom name

  
**ANA** : it was genji wasn't it

  
**MCCREE** : it was genji

  
**ANA** : fucking called it

  
**ANA** : anyway, good luck jesse 

  
**ANA** : he must be a good one if you like him so much

  
**MCCREE** : is it that obvious

  
**MCCREE** : shit angie was right

  
**ANA** : fucking gay

  
**MCCREE** : aw hell he's at the door

  
**MCCREE** : ill talk to ya later ma'am

  
**ANA** : gl

 

**[ANA AMARI AND JESSE MCCREE HAVE EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off  
> holy shit thanks for all the notes and kudos 
> 
> now  
> Ana is cool as hell, and she'd be the greatest memer grandma.  
> and you can't tell me that mccree wouldn't make himself look like an idiot a lot.  
> I mean I love him, but lmao it's fun to make fun of him.
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	4. Is it just shit on Jesse day or something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Residential memelords Ana, Hana, and Genji love to mess with their gay cowboy.
> 
> Hanzo might enjoy it too.

**[D.VA, TRACER, ANA AMARI, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **D.VA** : shit i just woke up

  
**D.VA** : what time is it

  
**D.VA** : **_@MCCREE_**

  
**MCCREE** : n o

  
**ANA** : wait he still says that shit

  
**ANA** : god what was it

  
**GENJI** : it's high noon

  
**GENJI** : and yes he does still say it

  
**ANA** : i told you years ago to come up with a better fucking catchphrase

  
**TRACER** : Jesse you should have listened to momma Amari :(

  
**HANZO** : He has said this for years?

  
**ANA** : ya

  
**HANZO** : Oh my.

  
**TRACER** : Yeah :/

  
**D.VA** : i just read the log from this morning

  
**D.VA** : **_@ANA_** i love you already

  
**ANA** : she only likes me for my memes

  
**D.VA** : nono you're super cool

  
**D.VA** : wait didn't you die

  
**ANA** : lmao nah

  
**GENJI** : she's too cool to die

  
**MCCREE** : true

 

**[MEI-LING ZHOU HAS ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **TRACER** : MEI

  
**TRACER** : ARE YOU HERE AT THE BASE?

  
**MEI** : Hey, Lena! ( ◠‿◠ )

  
**MEI** : Actually, I'm on my way right now.

  
**ANA** : lmao welcome back

  
**MEI** : It's nice to know that you are alive and well, Ms. Amari.

  
**ANA** : thank

  
**HANZO** : Ms. Zhou, I am a fan of your journal. It is quite interesting.

  
**GENJI** : did

  
**GENJI** : did he just compliment her

  
**D.VA** : lmao he's right tho

  
**D.VA** : her journal is cool

  
**MEI** : (^o^) Thank you!

  
**HANZO** : You are welcome.

  
**D.VA** : np

  
**TRACER** : When will you be here, love?

  
**MEI** : I should be there later tonight.

  
**MEI** : What time is it there right now?

  
**ANA** : **_@MCCREE_**

  
**MCCREE** : why

  
**MCCREE** : not you too

  
**ANA** : i was the original one who made fun of you

  
**ANA** : you're not allowed to say "not you too"

  
**MCCREE** : yes ma'am

  
**GENJI** : it's 14:00

  
**D.VA** : HOLY SHIT 

  
**HANZO** : That's what happens when you go to bed at 4:30 in the morning.

 

 **D.VA** : wtf you went to bed at the same time

  
**GENJI** : we all did

  
**D.VA** : why even get up so early

  
**D.VA** : there's no reason to

  
**D.VA** : it's not a good day for me if I wake up before noon

  
**MCCREE** : ^

  
**D.VA** : high noon*

  
**MCCREE** : i hate overwatch

  
**HANZO** : lol

  
**GENJI** : oh my god

  
**GENJI** : i never thought this day would come

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: lol (HANZO SHIMADA)]**

 

 **TRACER** : :o He has a sense of humor!

  
**GENJI** : im so proud to have you as a brother

 

 **HANZO** : This is why you are proud?

  
**HANZO** : You are a fool.

  
**ANA** : hanzo

  
**ANA** : that's all of overwatch

  
**HANZO** : I am starting to realize that.

  
**GENJI** : jesse's the biggest fool

  
**ANA** : ^

  
**MCCREE** : is it just shit on jesse day or something

  
**D.VA** : now it is

  
**TRACER** : Aw come on, you guys are so mean to him :(

  
**GENJI** : no

  
**GENJI** : we love him

  
**ANA** : ya

  
**ANA** : it's rough love

  
**MEI** : I'm glad to know none of you have changed.

  
**MEI** : Anyway, I'm boarding the plane right now. I'll be at the base in a few hours.

  
**TRACER** : We'll see you here! <3

  
**MEI** : <3

 

**[MEI-LING ZHOU HAS EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **D.VA** : **_@HANZO @MCCREE_**

  
**D.VA** : remember we're gonna stream tonight

  
**MCCREE** : oh yeah

  
**MCCREE** : gotcha

  
**HANZO** : Around what time?

  
**D.VA** : idk

  
**D.VA** : 23:00 is when I usually start

  
**D.VA** : but that might be past your bed times

  
**MCCREE** : wh

  
**MCCREE** : i go to bed whenever i god damn want

  
**D.VA** : sure 노인 

  
**ANA** : if he's old then I'm ancient lmao

  
**D.VA** : nah

  
**D.VA** : at least your cooler than him

  
**HANZO** : Any of us are cooler than him.

  
**GENJI** : hanzo im so proud of you

  
**ANA** : holy shit

  
**ANA** : i am too

  
**TRACER** : Jess, don't worry, you're plenty cool!

  
**MCCREE** : thanks lena

  
**MCCREE** : the rest of y'all are assholes

  
**GENJI** : we know

  
**HANZO** : Yes we do.

  
**ANA** : ya

 

**[PHARAH AND LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS HAVE ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **PHARAH** : Mother, can't you at least try to be kind?

  
**ANA** : nah

  
**LÚCIO** : _**@D.VA**_ hey Hana do you wanna help me with my new tunes?

  
**D.VA** : yeah sure

  
**D.VA** : common room?

  
**LÚCIO** : yep

  
**D.VA** : aight

  
**D.VA** : LATER LOSERS

  
**D.VA** : _**@MCCREE**_

 

**[D.VA AND LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS HAVE EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **ANA** : so fareeah

  
**ANA** : how's it going with Angela ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
**MCCREE** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
**TRACER** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
**GENJI** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
**PHARAH** : Mother why are you like this?

  
**ANA** : cause im dank as fuck

  
**HANZO** : Jesse, have you finally learned "the fucks a dank"?

  
**MCCREE** : oh my god

  
**MCCREE** : it's one thing having everyone be like this

  
**MCCREE** : but you too han

  
**MCCREE** : im wounded

  
**GENJI** : suck it up

  
**TRACER** : Hanzo, don't be like Genji :(

  
**HANZO** : Fine.

  
**HANZO** : I am sorry, Jesse.

  
**MCCREE** : holy shit you said my first name

  
**PHARAH** : typed*

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 **TRACER** : Uh oh.

  
**PHARAH** : I can't believe you broke Jesse.

  
**ANA:** **_@HANZO_** im proud of you

  
**HANZO** : Thank you?

  
**ANA** : yw

  
**GENJI** : i hear him

  
**GENJI** : he's just yelling

  
**GENJI** : "HOLY FUCK. SWEET JESUS. OH MY GOD. I'M GONNA DIE."

  
**TRACER** : :(

  
**ANA** : lmao rip

  
**PHARAH** : Should someone go check if he's okay?

  
**GENJI** : as his best friend i can say

  
**GENJI** : he'll be fine

  
**HANZO** : He is your best friend?

  
**GENJI** : ya

  
**GENJI** : he's like a brother to me

  
**GENJI** : a brother that didn't almost murder me

  
**TRACER** : Love, you shouldn't joke about that.

  
**GENJI** : lmao it's cool

  
**GENJI** : i forgave him long ago

  
**GENJI** : why can't I joke about it

  
**ANA** : true

  
**PHARAH** : Isn't it insensitive?

  
**HANZO** : I do not mind. He's always been like this.

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS RE-ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **MCCREE** : hooo boy

  
**MCCREE** : im okay

  
**GENJI** : told you

  
**HANZO** : I apologize, McCree.

  
**MCCREE** : ain't nothing to be sorry about

  
**MCCREE** : and you can keep calling me jesse if you want ;)

  
**HANZO** : Very well.

  
**GENJI** : disgusting

  
**ANA** : shhh

  
**ANA** : let it happen

  
**GENJI** : ugh fine

  
**TRACER** : Anyway, Fareeah. Any news on Angie? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
**PHARAH** : We had breakfast together. It was pleasant.

  
**ANA** : tell me when the wedding is

  
**PHARAH** : Mother.

  
**PHARAH** : Please. 

  
**PHARAH** : We are just friends and colleagues.

  
**ANA** : for now

  
**ANA** : you can do it, my little fareeah

  
**ANA** : i believe in you.

  
**MCCREE** : i do to

  
**GENJI** : same here

  
**TRACER** : Me too! :D

  
**PHARAH** : Thank you.

  
**PHARAH** : Now, I will be off to train. Would anyone like to join me?

  
**TRACER** : Sure :)

  
**GENJI** : k

  
**MCCREE** : yeah okay

  
**PHARAH** : I will see you all in room 3.

  
**MCCREE** : gotcha

  
**GENJI** : ya

  
**TRACER** : See you there!

 

**[PHARAH, TRACER, JESSE MCCREE, AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **ANA** : so

  
**HANZO** : Yes?

  
**ANA** : how was breakfast with jesse ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
**HANZO** : Of course you would ask.

  
**ANA** : lmao yeah

  
**ANA** : im not leaving without an answer

  
**HANZO** : Fine.

  
**HANZO** : It was surprisingly decent.

  
**HANZO** : He's an entertaining man.

  
**ANA** : that he is

  
**HANZO** : I would not mind spending more time with him.

  
**HANZO** : Don't you dare tell him that.

  
**ANA** : o shit

  
**ANA** : k

  
**ANA** : only if you go to the practice ranges with me rn 

  
**HANZO** : Fine.

  
**ANA** : NICE

  
**ANA** : ill book lanes 2 and 3

  
**ANA** : I would like to see you in action with that bow

  
**ANA** : jesse said you were very skilled

  
**HANZO** : He's not wrong.

  
**HANZO** : But I am sure you are a better shot.

  
**ANA** : lmao we'll see about that

  
**HANZO** : Alright. I will meet you at the range.

  
**ANA** : k

 

**[ANA AMARI AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoooo boy that halloween update  
> everytime mccree and hanzo talk in the brawl 10 years are added to my life  
> aND THAT MERCY SKIN  
> t hank you blizzard
> 
> so in spirit of the update, expect a Halloween chat very soon
> 
> now about this chat  
> I love Jesse McCree  
> everyone does  
> no one can take him seriously.
> 
> Translation notes:  
> \- 노인 : old man
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	5. Ana and her Gays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one sleeps ever.
> 
> Genji gets a meme lesson.  
> Where the fuck is Hanzo .  
> Ana pushes Fareeah and Angela together.
> 
> And McCree is gay.

**[D.VA, JESSE MCCREE, AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **D.VA** : 이런 젠장 

  
**D.VA** : that's been like my most viewed stream

  
**HANZO** : How many people watched?

  
**D.VA** : almost 1 mil

  
**MCCREE** : you're welcome

  
**MCCREE** : they love us

  
**D.VA** : lmao they do

  
**MCCREE** : damn right

  
**D.VA** : it helps that hanzo's fucking hot

  
**MCCREE** : he is

  
**MCCREE** : just god damn

  
**MCCREE** : why am i so gay

  
**HANZO** : I am still here.

  
**D.VA** : so

  
**D.VA** : you should get used to him being like this

  
**HANZO** : I won't argue with that.

 

**[MERCY, PHARAH, ANA AMARI, GENJI SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **GENJI** : i watched the stream

  
**GENJI** : when is the wedding

  
**ANA** : ^

  
**PHARAH** : Mother.

  
**PHARAH** : It's one thing for you to be this way about me.

  
**PHARAH** : But Jesse too?

  
**ANA** : lmao he doesn't mind

  
**ANA** : don't you jesse?

  
**MCCREE** : um

  
**MCCREE** : i guess not ma'am

  
**ANA** : bam im right

  
**GENJI** : lmao

  
**GENJI** : but really

  
**GENJI** : im glad you two are getting along

  
**GENJI** : _**@HANZO**_ カウボーイ キンクがあるなんて信じられない 

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 **GENJI** : oh no

  
**MCCREE** : what did you say

  
**MERCY** : Should I prep the medical wing again?

  
**D.VA** : he said

  
**D.VA** : cant believe you have a cowboy kink

  
**ANA** : omfg

  
**ANA** : you're so dead

  
**GENJI** : somebody protect me

  
**GENJI** : he might actually kill me this time

  
**D.VA** : pfff

  
**MCCREE** : not it

  
**ANA** : not it

  
**PHARAH** : I do not wish to get involved with a potential murder.

  
**MERCY** : I agree.

  
**D.VA** : ya same as moms

  
**REINHARDT** : genji my friend, I shall protect you

  
**GENJI** : thank you

  
**GENJI** : brb ill sneak to your room

  
**GENJI** : like the cool ninja I am

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 **D.VA** : so

  
**D.VA** : 패자 삼촌 

  
**MCCREE** : stop

  
**ANA** : never stop

  
**D.VA** : pretty positive hanzo likes you

  
**D.VA** : i mean

  
**D.VA** : the way he was with you

  
**D.VA** : and looked at you

  
**D.VA:** absolutely disgusting

  
**REINHARDT** : young love

  
**REINHARDT** : i miss being that young

  
**MERCY** : Please be mindful of your age, Reinhardt.

  
**ANA** : ya lmao i need my meme buddy around

  
**REINHARDT** : i have no plans to go anywhere anytime soon

  
**ANA** : same

  
**PHARAH** : Yes, please don't actually die, Mother.

  
**ANA** : أنا لن أترك لكم مرة أخرى 

  
**PHARAH** : وأنا على ثقة يا أمي. 

  
**ANA** : anyway

  
**ANA** : jesse

  
**ANA** : ask him out already

  
**D.VA** : ^

  
**D.VA** : you've got nothing to lose

  
**D.VA** : other than your friendship

  
**MCCREE** : gee thanks kid

  
**MERCY** : Jesse, I believe you should go for it.

  
**MCCREE** : f ine

  
**MCCREE** : ill ask tomorrow

  
**REINHARDT** : i salute you, my friend

  
**MCCREE** : thanks gramps

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS RE-ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **GENJI** : yo thanks again reinhardt 

  
**REINHARDT** : it is not a problem

  
**ANA** : lmao you're gonna get your ass beat

  
**ANA** : ive gotta record this

  
**D.VA** : omg I was going to do the same

  
**ANA** : you're my new favorite

  
**PHARAH** : Ahem.

  
**ANA** : second favorite

  
**ANA** : I love my little Fareeah.

  
**PHARAH** : I love you too, Mother.

  
**MCCREE** : awww

  
**GENJI** : and jesse loves hanzo 

  
**GENJI** : even though his best friend might get beaten up by him

  
**MCCREE** : even more of a reason

  
**GENJI** : why

  
**MCCREE** : porque te amo estupido

  
**D.VA** : gay

  
**MERCY** : Hana, they've always been like this.

  
**PHARAH** : Yes they have.

  
**D.VA** : lmao has it really always been this gay

  
**ANA** : yes

  
**REINHARDT** : ya

  
**D.VA** : im so glad I joined

  
**D.VA** : this place is great

  
**MCCREE** : it's done a lot of good for all of us honestly

  
**GENJI** : ^

  
**MCCREE** : id be in prison rn if I didn't join

  
**D.VA** : woah

  
**MERCY** : Jesse, are you sure you're okay with talking about this?

  
**ANA** : typing*

  
**ANA** : but yeah are you sure

  
**MCCREE** : yeah

  
**MCCREE** : it don't matter much now

  
**MCCREE** : im happy here with y'all

  
**PHARAH** : We are happy that you're with us too, Jesse.

  
**MERCY** : Yes we are.

  
**GENJI** : lmao yeah we love you

  
**GENJI** : i wouldn't want to have anyone else as my best friend

  
**MCCREE** : shit

  
**MCCREE** : thanks y'all

  
**MCCREE** : im real glad I got to join

  
**D.VA** : this is too sappy

  
**ANA** : ^

  
**GENJI** : ya but it's true

  
**GENJI** : without overwatch I'd be dead

  
**GENJI** : and would have never gotten to meet you all

  
**MCCREE** : oh yeah

  
**GENJI** : so thank you all

  
**GENJI** : mostly Dr. Ziegler

  
**MERCY** : It is no problem. I am glad I could save a life.

  
**PHARAH** : You really are something else, Angela.

  
**ANA** : gay

  
**PHARAH** : Mother.

  
**ANA** : just ask her out already

  
**MERCY** : You want to ask me out? Is this true?

  
**PHARAH** : Well... maybe. A little.

  
**D.VA** : 하나님 

  
**D.VA** : moms it's obvious you two like each other

  
**D.VA** : just admit it

  
**PHARAH** : I feel like this should be done face to face.

  
**REINHARDT** : a good idea

  
**MERCY** : Meet me in my office?

  
**PHARAH** : Alright.

  
**PHARAH** : I will be there in a moment.

 

**[PHARAH HAS EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **MCCREE** : holy shit angie 

  
**MCCREE** : good luck

  
**GENJI** : yes i wish you the best of luck angela

   
**REINHARDT** : ^

  
**D.VA** : go mom!!

  
**ANA** : treat my girl right

  
**MERCY** : I fully intend to, Ms. Amari.

  
**ANA** : good

  
**ANA** : now go. And good luck.

  
**MERCY** : Thank you all. I appreciate it.

 

**[MERCY HAS EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **D.VA** : O SHIT THE MOMS ARE GONNA GET TOGETHER

  
**D.VA** : AND ITS PHARAH WHO ASKED

  
**D.VA** : PAY UP GENJI

  
**MCCREE** : i was the one who said ana would push them together

  
**MCCREE** : pay up y'all

  
**GENJI** : damn

  
**ANA** : gg jesse 

  
**MCCREE** : thank ya kindly ma'am

  
**GENJI** : I'll give you the 50 I owe in the morning

  
**MCCREE** : alrighty

  
**ANA** : im so proud

  
**ANA** : betting on relationships

  
**ANA** : overwatch really hasn't changed

  
**REINHARDT** : i remember when you won almost 1k on the bet for Gabriel and Jack

  
**ANA** : good times

  
**MCCREE** : didn't you spend all the money on that party after

  
**ANA** : ya

  
**ANA** : why keep it all to myself when we could all do something fun

  
**D.VA** : o shit

  
**D.VA:** real life advice

  
**D.VA** : ill remember that grandma

  
**ANA** : nice

  
**GENJI** : honestly

  
**GENJI** : ms. Amari we all look up to you

  
**MCCREE** : ^

  
**REINHARDT** : you should

  
**REINHARDT** : she is a wise lady

  
**D.VA** : and she's dank as fuck

  
**ANA** : jesse do you need me to explain the fucks a dank

  
**MCCREE** : WHY

  
**MCCREE** : WE WERE ALL HAVING A MOMENT

  
**GENJI** : the moment is over

  
**GENJI** : it was getting too sappy anyway

  
**ANA** : ya

  
**D.VA** : k changing topics

  
**D.VA** : where's hanzo

  
**GENJI** : idk

  
**GENJI** : and idc

  
**ANA** : w0w

  
**GENJI** : im having fun here anyway

  
**GENJI** : reinhardt is showing me his old memes

  
**REINHARDT** : you kids don't know about the golden age of memes

  
**ANA** : all those spongebob memes

  
**D.VA** : can we have a meme lesson tomorrow

  
**ANA** : yes

  
**MCCREE** : fuck what time is it

  
**MCCREE** : god damn I already regret saying that

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: fuck what time is it (JESSE MCCREE)]**

 

 **ANA** : lol

  
**REINHARDT** : it is 3:45 my friend

  
**MCCREE** : thanks

  
**ANA** : who up

  
**REINHARDT** : click like

  
**GENJI** : oh my god

  
**GENJI** : nice

  
**D.VA** : **_@HANZO_** come back

  
**D.VA** : come get your cowboy

  
**GENJI** : stop

  
**MCCREE** : why did we invite you to overwatch

  
**D.VA** : cause im wonderful c:

  
**ANA** : you are

  
**MCCREE** : who in the hell is knocking on my door

  
**MCCREE** : i swear if it's one of y'all im leaving overwatch forever 

  
**D.VA** : not me

  
**GENJI** : not me or reinhardt either

  
**ANA** : not me either

  
**ANA** : im spying on Fareeah and Angela

  
**ANA** : they're making out btw

  
**D.VA** : MY MOMS

  
**D.VA** : FUCK YEAH

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 **GENJI** : i bet you guys it's hanzo.

 

 **GENJI** : and that they'll just stay up talking like old men

  
**ANA** : how much

  
**GENJI** : 200

  
**D.VA** : i bet 300 that they'll make out

  
**D.VA** : or fuck

  
**ANA** : 500

  
**ANA** : they become a thing

  
**REINHARDT** : I've learned my lesson from betting on overwatch relationships

  
**ANA** : lmao yeah you lost 100 bucks

  
**GENJI** : rip

  
**D.VA** : but really guys

  
**D.VA** : i hope things go good for them

  
**D.VA** : if it even is hanzo there

  
**ANA** : ya

  
**ANA** : btw pretty sure Angela and Fareeah are a thing now

  
**ANA** : but technically jesse still wins the bet

  
**GENJI** : shit

  
**GENJI** : i really thought angela would be the one to ask

  
**D.VA** : i cant believe 패자 삼촌 actually beat us at something

  
**REINHARDT** : he may seem like a doof

  
**REINHARDT** : but that boy has extremely quick thinking and wit

  
**REINHARDT** : do not underestimate him

  
**GENJI** : dude

  
**GENJI** : that's like the worst mistake any of our enemies make when they see mccree 

  
**GENJI** : he's honestly amazing

  
**ANA** : ya

  
**ANA** : that boy is skilled

  
**D.VA** : if grandma says so, then I believe it

 

**[JESSE MCCREE AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE RE-ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **GENJI** : I FUCKING CALLED IT

  
**GENJI** : PAY UP

  
**D.VA** : hold up

  
**D.VA** : _**@HANZO**_ where were you

  
**HANZO** : Doing stuff.

  
**D.VA** : mccree i didn't know you changed your name to stuff

  
**GENJI** : pffff

  
**MCCREE** : stop

  
**MCCREE** : ain't nothing like that

  
**ANA** : lmao then where was he

  
**REINHARDT** : ^

  
**HANZO** : Yes, I went to Jesse's room.

  
**GENJI** : so you weren't hunting me down

  
**HANZO** : I was not.

  
**GENJI** : you could have at least told me wtf

  
**HANZO** : I had a plan.

  
**ANA** : o shit

  
**D.VA** : for what??

  
**HANZO** : Why are you all like this.

  
**REINHARDT** : you will get used to it, my friend

  
**MCCREE** : y'all

  
**MCCREE** : listen here

  
**D.VA** : k

  
**ANA** : listening

  
**GENJI** : he's gonna say they're together

  
**MCCREE** : genji 

  
**MCCREE** : i hate you

  
**MCCREE** : but i fUCKING LOVE YOUR BROTHER

  
**MCCREE** : I LOVE HANZO SHIMADA

  
**MCCREE** : MY BOYFRIEND

  
**MCCREE** : LOVE OF MY LIFE

  
**MCCREE** : SWEAT PEA

  
**MCCREE** : DARLIN

  
**MCCREE** : PUMPKIN

  
**ANA** : PAY UP BITCHES

  
**HANZO** : What.

  
**MCCREE** : they bet on us darlin

  
**MCCREE** : normal overwatch shit

  
**GENJI** : i cant believe I lost a bet about my brother

  
**REINHARDT** : you should be like me

  
**REINHARDT** : bet on nothing

  
**GENJI** : nah I want money

  
**D.VA** : guys

  
**D.VA** : stay on topic

  
**D.VA** : **_@MCCREE_** **_@HANZO_** use protection

  
**D.VA** : im out

 

**[D.VA HAS EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **ANA** : im so proud

  
**MCCREE** : i hate that girl

  
**GENJI** : no you dont 

  
**REINHARDT** : none of us could hate her even if we wanted to

  
**HANZO** : ^

  
**GENJI** : anyway

  
**GENJI** : congrats guys

  
**GENJI** : my best friend and my brother

  
**GENJI** : you better not hurt each other cause I'd beat both of you up

  
**MCCREE** : genji 

  
**MCCREE** : you know that won't happen

  
**ANA** : ya lmao jesse likes hanzo to much to even think of doing anything bad

  
**ANA** : i think you two boys are good for each other

  
**HANZO** : Thank you, Ms. Amari.

  
**MCCREE** : thank you ma'am

  
**REINHARDT** : everyone

  
**REINHARDT** : it's almost 5:00

  
**REINHARDT** : we should try and sleep

  
**ANA** : ^

  
**ANA** : ill sleep dart you if you don't

  
**MCCREE** : shit

  
**MCCREE** : han darlin

  
**MCCREE** : sleep

  
**MCCREE** : those darts sting like a bitch

  
**GENJI** : they really do

  
**HANZO** : Very well.

  
**GENJI** : **_@HANZO_** 私はあなたのために非常に幸せな弟。

  
**HANZO** : **_@GENJI_** ありがとう。

  
**ANA** : good night, children

  
**MCCREE** : not even gonna argue

  
**MCCREE** : too happy

  
**MCCREE** : night y'all

  
**MCCREE** : **_@HANZO_** <3

  
**HANZO** : **_@MCCREE_** <3

  
**GENJI** : holy shit

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: @MCCREE <3 (HANZO SHIMADA)]**

 

 **HANZO** : I regret everything.

  
**MCCREE** : lmao no you don't

  
**HANZO** : Ugh.

  
**HANZO** : True.

  
**ANA** : S L E E P

  
**REINHARDT** : except genji 

  
**REINHARDT** : we're still looking at memes

  
**MCCREE** : yes ma'am

  
**HANZO** : Good night.

 

**[ANA AMARI, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah long ass chapter  
> my fingers are nonexistent now
> 
> Mchanzo is my life force. My boys deserve to be happy.  
> lmao of course Ana would push her kiddo like that too  
> genji and Hana are little shits like always  
> and reinhardt is a master memer 
> 
> I love them all.
> 
> Translation notes: (feel free to correct me)  
> \- 이런 젠장 : holy shit  
> \- カウボーイ キンクがあるなんて信じられない : can't believe you have a cowboy kink  
> \- 패자 삼촌 : loser uncle  
> \- أنا لن أترك لكم مرة أخرى : I won't leave you again  
> \- وأنا على ثقة يا أمي. : I trust you, Mother.  
> \- porque te amo estupido: because I love you stupid  
> \- 하나님 : god  
> \- 私はあなたのために非常に幸せな弟。: I'm very happy for you, brother.  
> \- ありがとう。: Thank you. 
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	6. Sleep is Nonexistent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleep is nonexistent in Overwatch.  
> The new recruits will learn.
> 
> Hanzo takes care of Hana, and Jesse and Genji can't stop bitching.

**[D.VA AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **D.VA** : 하나님 

  
**D.VA** : why are you up

  
**D.VA** : it's 8:45

  
**HANZO** : I could say the same to you.

  
**D.VA** : lmao I never slept

  
**D.VA** : im dead inside

  
**HANZO** : I can make you tea to help you sleep.

  
**D.VA** : o shit

  
**D.VA** : for real?

  
**HANZO** : Yes.

  
**D.VA** : thanks!!

  
**D.VA** : btw

  
**D.VA** : im really happy for you and the cowboy

  
**D.VA** : i know I act like an ass but seriously

  
**D.VA** : you two deserve this

  
**HANZO** : Thank you, Hana.

  
**HANZO** : I appreciate it.

  
**D.VA** : np

  
**D.VA** : so do you want me to meet you in the kitchen?

  
**HANZO** : Yes.

  
**D.VA** : k ill be right there

 

**[D.VA AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE GONE IDLE]**

 

-

 

**[TRACER, WINSTON, ANA AMARI, GENJI SHIMADA, AND MEI-LING ZHOU HAVE ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **TRACER** : Mei and I stayed up late together too :D

  
**MEI** : We had a lot of catching up to do ( ◠‿◠ )

  
**GENJI** : i can imagine

  
**ANA** : lmao you missed a lot last night

  
**TRACER** : I read

  
**TRACER** : Angie and Fareeah

  
**MEI** : And Jesse and Hanzo

  
**TRACER** : I'm so happy for them :)

  
**GENJI** : we all are

  
**WINSTON** : Yes we are.

  
**TRACER** : Hey big guy :D

  
**WINSTON** : Hello, Lena.

  
**WINSTON** : _**@MEI**_ I'm glad you got here safe.

  
**MEI** : Thank you! (⌒▽⌒)

  
**WINSTON** : It's not a problem.

  
**WINSTON** : I came here because I have some news to share with you all.

  
**ANA** : o shit this is gonna be important

  
**GENJI** : ya

  
**WINSTON** : _**@everyone**_ We have some new recruits. I will be adding them here now.

  
**TRACER** : :o

 

**[WINSTON HAS ADDED JUNKRAT, ROADHOG, SYMMETRA, AND ZARYA TO jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **ANA** : that's a lot of recruits lmao

  
**GENJI** : wait

  
**GENJI** : aren't junkrat and roadhog criminals

  
**ANA** : ya

  
**TRACER** : Yup.

 

**[D.VA AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE RE-ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **D.VA** : hanzo i know i said id try to sleep

  
**D.VA** : but i gotta stay up for this

  
**HANZO** : Fine. But bed right after.

  
**D.VA** : k

  
**GENJI** : brother I didn't know you and jesse  adopted hana 

  
**ANA** : screaming

  
**D.VA** : sweet ive got two moms and two dads now

  
**HANZO** : Genji.

  
**HANZO** : Why.

  
**TRACER** : lol

 

**[JUNKRAT, ROADHOG, AND ZARYA HAVE ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **JUNKRAT** : YEAH WERE CRIMINALS

  
**JUNKRAT** : BUT WE CAN DO GOOD NOW

  
**ROADHOG** : Yeah.

  
**MEI** : You guys are just bullies! (>_>)

  
**TRACER** : Aw, love. Give them a chance!

  
**GENJI** : yeah we could be a good influence on them

  
**ANA** : ya

  
**ANA** : _**@JUNKRAT @ROADHOG**_ you two better behave

  
**ANA** : or else you get sleep darted

  
**ROADHOG** : Yes, ma'am.

  
**JUNKRAT** : OKAY

  
**D.VA** : lmao I like these guys

  
**D.VA** : super energetic

  
**D.VA** : nice

  
**ZARYA** : I am here to help too

  
**TRACER** : :o aren't you the body builder from Russia?

  
**MEI** : And then joined joined the Russian Defense Forces! ( ◠‿◠ )

  
**MEI** : I'm a big fan!

  
**ZARYA** : Спасибо. 

  
**WINSTON** : Well, I will leave you all to it. Good day everyone.

  
**TRACER** : Later, Winston! :D

 

**[WINSTON HAS EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **ZARYA** : Could someone show me to the training area.

  
**MEI** : Sure!! Can you meet me in the common area?

  
**ZARYA** : Yes. I will be there.

  
**MEI** : Okay.

 

**[ZARYA HAS EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **TRACER** : Mei ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
**ANA** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
**GENJI** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
**D.VA** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
**JUNKRAT** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
**HANZO** : You've already converted the new recruits. Are you proud of yourselves.

  
**ANA** : very

  
**ROADHOG** : Jamison. Be nice.

  
**JUNKRAT** : OKAY ROADIE

  
**MEI** : (>_>) Guys, please.

  
**MEI** : I'm just being nice to her!

  
**TRACER** : Very nice ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
**MEI** : Lena why ;;

  
**MEI** : I'll be back later to discuss this further ;;

 

**[MEI-LING ZHOU HAS EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **JUNKRAT** : GUYS SHE TOTALLY LIKES THAT ZARYA LADY

  
**ROADHOG** : Jamison.

  
**ROADHOG** : It's rude to talk about people when they aren't around.

  
**JUNKRAT** : FINE

  
**D.VA** : lmao that's all we do at overwatch tho

  
**ANA** : ^

  
**ANA** : the girl is right

  
**TRACER** : :o

  
**TRACER** : Guys, be nice!!

  
**GENJI** : fine

  
**HANZO** : Brother, do not gossip. You are better than that.

  
**GENJI** : k

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS ENTERED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **MCCREE** : morning y'all

  
**ANA** : holy shit you're actually up early

  
**MCCREE** : couldn't sleep

  
**TRACER** : I don't think any of us did :(

  
**HANZO** : True.

  
**MCCREE** : _**@HANZO**_ morning pumpkin  <3

  
**HANZO** : Good morning.

  
**HANZO** : I would ask how did you sleep, but none of us did.

  
**GENJI** : rip

  
**JUNKRAT** : WE DIDN'T EITHER

  
**D.VA** : sleep is nonexistent in overwatch

  
**ANA** : i could fix that for all of you :)

  
**MCCREE** : please no

  
**GENJI** : ms. Amari please have mercy

  
**TRACER** : :(

  
**ANA** : lmao fine

  
**JUNKRAT** : ROADIE LET'S GO

  
**JUNKRAT** : I WANNA HAVE A MORNING BARBECUE

 

 **JUNKRAT** : IT'LL BE DELICIOUS

  
**ROADHOG** : Fine. But I have to make sure you don't do anything stupid.

  
**JUNKRAT** : OKAY

 

**[JUNKRAT AND ROADHOG HAVE EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **D.VA** : do we even have a barbecue

  
**GENJI** : no

  
**ANA** : let them be, i want to see what they can do lmao

  
**TRACER** : That can't be safe :(

  
**HANZO** : I do not think Overwatch cares about being safe.

  
**ANA** : lmao we do

  
**ANA** : this is just an experiment

  
**MCCREE** : gotta see what the newbies can do

  
**GENJI** : ^

  
**D.VA** : hey

  
**D.VA** : where are the moms

  
**ANA** : o yeah

  
**ANA** : they're the only ones who got any sleep

  
**ANA** : they're still asleep rn 

  
**GENJI** : ana

  
**GENJI** : did you sleep dart them

  
**MCCREE** : she probably did

  
**ANA** : shhh

  
**ANA** : shit gtg

  
**ANA** : must prepare my meme lesson for later

  
**TRACER** : :D

  
**D.VA** : NICE

  
**D.VA** : we'll be waiting grandma!

  
**ANA** : lol k

  
**ANA** : later losers

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS EXITED jesse mccree is fucking gay]**

 

 **HANZO** : Who changed the chat name to that.

  
**D.VA** : lmao

  
**GENJI** : me

  
**GENJI** : I did

  
**MCCREE** : not even mad honestly

  
**MCCREE** : it's true

  
**TRACER** : At least you're a good sport about it :)

  
**D.VA** : ya

  
**D.VA** : you're cool

  
**D.VA** : in that regard

  
**D.VA** : nothing else though

  
**GENJI** : exactly

  
**MCCREE** : kid

  
**MCCREE** : why

  
**D.VA** : c:

  
**MCCREE** : you know what else is true

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS CHANGED THE CHAT NAME TO genji can't get laid]**

 

 **GENJI** : wh 

  
**GENJI** : how dare you

  
**GENJI** : i can if I want to

  
**MCCREE** : keep telling yourself that

  
**GENJI** : FUCK YOU

  
**D.VA** : hot

  
**TRACER** : lololol

  
**HANZO** : You two are like children.

  
**GENJI** : HE'S THE ONE WHO STARTED IT

  
**MCCREE** : WHAT THE FUCK

  
**MCCREE** : YOU DID

  
**D.VA** : FITE FITE FITE

  
**TRACER** : Don't encourage them :(

  
**MCCREE** : YOU KNOW WHAT

  
**MCCREE** : WE'RE SETTLING THIS RIGHT NOW

  
**GENJI** : are we doing what I think we're gonna do

  
**TRACER** : omfg here we go

  
**MCCREE** : POKER

  
**D.VA** : raise the stakes

  
**D.VA** : strip poker

  
**HANZO** : Hana.

  
**HANZO** : Go to bed.

  
**D.VA** : uGHHH FINE

  
**D.VA** : **_@MCCREE @GENJI_** strip poker. 15:00

  
**D.VA** : winner gets to keep the chat name for a week

  
**GENJI** : DEAL

  
**MCCREE** : ^

 

**[D.VA HAS EXITED genji can't get laid]**

 

 **TRACER** : **_@HANZO_** They used to do this all the time :D

  
**HANZO** : I am not surprised.

  
**TRACER** : lol

  
**HANZO** : Jesse, would you like to join me for breakfast?

  
**MCCREE** : of course han 

  
**MCCREE** : ill see you at the kitchen <3

  
**HANZO** : Alright.

  
**HANZO** : <3

  
**GENJI** : gross

  
**HANZO** : Shut up.

 

**[JESSE MCCREE AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE EXITED genji can't get laid]**

 

 **GENJI** : lena

  
**GENJI** : could you play a few practice rounds with me?

  
**TRACER** : Sure thing, love :)

  
**GENJI** : you're a life saver

  
**GENJI** : ill meet you in the common room

  
**TRACER** : Okay :D

 

**[TRACER AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE EXITED genji can't get laid]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I 100% wholeheartedly believe that Jesse and Genji's friendship would just be them bitching and having fun like little kids.
> 
> Also Hanzo and Hana would be absolute fucking bros.  
> Of course Ana is there in the background being Ana lmao
> 
> and o shit more heroes  
> I have plans to add them all so don't you worry if your favorite is being left out rn 
> 
> that means my girl Sombra too in the future  
> rip Bastion
> 
> Translation notes: (feel free to correct me)  
> \- 하나님 : god  
> \- Спасибо. : Thank you.
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	7. spook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone wants to leave Overwatch.
> 
> And they finally remember about Halloween.

**[SYMMETRA AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED genji can't get laid]**

 

 **SYMMETRA** : I was under the interpretation that this was a professional organization.

  
**HANZO** : As was I.

  
**HANZO** : But I soon learned that it was just full of fools.

  
**SYMMETRA** : They certainly are an interesting bunch.

  
**HANZO** : That they are.

  
**HANZO** : You will get used to all of it soon. Even though they first seem loud and obnoxious, you will realize how much they really care about everyone.

  
**SYMMETRA** : Yes, they are good people.

  
**SYMMETRA** : Though we all have different intentions for joining, it is my hope that we can set aside our differences to shape a safe future.

  
**HANZO** : Well said.

  
**HANZO** : I am grateful for being able to join.

  
**HANZO** : Even though they are a bit ridiculous.

  
**SYMMETRA** : A bit?

  
**SYMMETRA** : There is a literal cowboy here. We are way past ridiculous.

  
**HANZO** : I won't argue there.

  
**SYMMETRA** : The cowboy is your partner, is he not?

  
**HANZO** : He is.

  
**SYMMETRA** : Congratulations then. Without Overwatch, you two would have never met.

  
**HANZO** : It is true.

  
**HANZO** : I had not thought about that before.

  
**SYMMETRA** : Isn't he currently in a poker competition with the cyborg?

  
**HANZO** : Yes.

  
**HANZO** : He and Genji are acting like children.

 

**[MERCY AND PHARAH HAVE ENTERED genji can't get laid]**

 

 **MERCY** : They have always been like this.

  
**PHARAH** : Yes they have.

  
**HANZO** : They are ridiculous.

  
**MERCY** : It's part of their charm.

  
**PHARAH** : Jesse charming?

  
**PHARAH** : You're funny, Angie.

  
**MERCY** : :)

  
**HANZO** : I am right here.

  
**SYMMETRA** : He has to be at least somewhat charming to get the archer.

  
**MERCY** : True.

  
**HANZO** : Must I explain it.

  
**PHARAH** : Please.

  
**HANZO** : Fine.

  
**HANZO** : He may be a ridiculous man, but I admire how he stays calm, and how much he cares about the others.

  
**HANZO** : It's endearing.

  
**PHARAH** : Wow.

  
**MERCY** : ^

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS ENTERED genji can't get laid]**

 

 **ANA** : lol gay

  
**PHARAH** : Mother, please.

  
**ANA** : FAREEHA

  
**ANA** : please tell me

  
**ANA** : are you finally going out with Angela

  
**PHARAH** : Mother.

  
**ANA** : i knew it

  
**ANA** : congrats

  
**ANA** : invite me to the wedding please

  
**MERCY** : Ms. Amari.

  
**MERCY** : Yes, we are dating now.

  
**ANA** : I KNEW IT

  
**ANA** : HA

  
**SYMMETRA** : Congratulations.

  
**HANZO** : ^

  
**PHARAH** : Thank you.

  
**PHARAH** : We are very happy together. <3

  
**MERCY** : <3

  
**ANA** : good good

  
**ANA** : i am very happy for the both of you

  
**PHARAH** : Thank you, Mother.

  
**ANA** : np

  
**SYMMETRA** : If you could excuse me, I must get back to work now.

  
**HANZO** : Good bye.

  
**SYMMETRA** : Good bye, Hanzo.

 

**[SYMMETRA HAS EXITED genji can't get laid]**

 

 **ANA** : why do I feel like you two are just constantly judging us

  
**HANZO** : Maybe.

  
**HANZO** : Let me have my fun too.

  
**ANA** : lol k

  
**MERCY** : I just read the chat from last night.

  
**MERCY** : Hanzo, congratulations!

  
**HANZO** : Thank you.

  
**HANZO** : Congratulations to you and Fareeha as well.

  
**MERCY** : Thank you! :)

  
**PHARAH** : Yes, thank you.

  
**PHARAH** : Mother, you were right. Overwatch is really gay.

  
**ANA** : holy shit

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: Mother, you were right. Overwatch is really gay. (PHARAH)]**

 

 **ANA** : im so proud

  
**MERCY** : I hate to interrupt, but should we be concerned? I hear Genji and Hana screaming.

  
**ANA** : lmao nah

  
**ANA** : theyll be fine

  
**PHARAH** : I bet they're yelling because Jesse won.

  
**HANZO** : I'd believe it.

  
**ANA** : of course you would

  
**HANZO** : Genji is terrible at card games.

  
**MERCY** : ^

  
**MERCY** : Utterly terrible.

 

**[D.VA, JESSE MCCREE, AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED genji can't get laid]**

 

 **GENJI** : I HATE EVERYTHING

  
**GENJI** : HANZO, KILL ME

  
**HANZO** : No.

  
**MCCREE** : h A

  
**MCCREE** : THE CHAT NAME STAYS

  
**D.VA** : holy fuck

  
**D.VA** : i can't believe the cowboy won

  
**MERCY** : Hana, Genji is garbage at card games.

  
**D.VA** : w0w

  
**GENJI** : fight me Angela

  
**PHARAH** : Don't even dream of it.

  
**ANA** : ill nano-boost you Fareeah

  
**ANA** : then you can kick his ass

  
**D.VA** : pls

  
**D.VA** : do it and let me record

  
**MCCREE** : i think y'all are getting away from the point here

  
**MCCREE** : GENJI CANT GET LAID

  
**MCCREE** : AND IM BETTER THAN HIM AT POKER

  
**MERCY** : Jesse.

  
**MERCY** : You're better than all of us here at poker.

  
**D.VA** : lol the one thing he's better than us at

  
**HANZO** : I'm sure he's skilled with other things as well.

  
**GENJI** : stop being gay and defend me brother

  
**HANZO** : No.

  
**GENJI** : now I know how you feel all the time jesse

  
**MCCREE** : GOOD

  
**MCCREE** : suck it genji 

  
**D.VA** : im sure hanzo will do that instead

  
**ANA** : holy sHIT

  
**HANZO** : I'm leaving Overwatch.

  
**MCCREE** : babe no

  
**MCCREE** : at least take me with you

  
**HANZO** : You can come.

  
**MCCREE** : <3

  
**HANZO** : <3

  
**GENJI** : now im leaving overwatch

  
**GENJI** : goodbye everyone

  
**GENJI** : I'll see you all in therapy

  
**ANA** : so proud

  
**PHARAH** : So the chat name is staying as it is?

  
**MCCREE** : yes

  
**ANA** : fuck that

  
**ANA** : i am using my motherly rights

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS CHANGED THE CHAT NAME TO maximum spook]**

 

 **MCCREE** : yep im leaving overwatch too

  
**D.VA** : rip

  
**ANA** : it's T-minus 1 week till Halloween

  
**ANA** : the chat name stays as this

  
**MCCREE** : shit I should be mad

  
**MCCREE** : but god damn I love halloween

  
**D.VA** : makes sense

  
**D.VA** : you're always in costume

  
**MCCREE** : why

  
**MCCREE** : im a real oNE HUNDRED PERCENT COWBOY

  
**GENJI** : sure you are jesse

  
**GENJI** : then if you're a real cowboy, then I am too

  
**MCCREE** : shut it

  
**D.VA** : yo does overwatch have like an annual halloween party or something 

  
**MERCY** : We did back in the old days of Overwatch.

  
**ANA** : we're all back now

  
**ANA** : well

  
**ANA** : shit you know what I meant

  
**MCCREE** : gabe loved halloween

  
**MERCY** : He did.

  
**MERCY** : That costume he made was amazing.

  
**MCCREE** : ikr

  
**HANZO** : Who are you talking about.

  
**MCCREE** : he was the head of blackwatch

  
**MCCREE** : Gabriel Reyes

  
**MCCREE** : was my mentor before everything went to shit

  
**ANA** : fuck i unintentionally ruined the mood

  
**D.VA** : gg granny

  
**MCCREE** : naw its cool

  
**MCCREE** : just remembering is all

  
**MERCY** : That does not mean we still can not have a good time on Halloween.

  
**GENJI** : ^

  
**GENJI** : ill kick all your asses in the costume contest

 

 **GENJI** : idc man ill go all out and look even cooler than i usually do

  
**D.VA** : lmao nope

  
**D.VA** : i already have my costume

  
**D.VA** : no one is gonna beat me

  
**ANA** : lol im gonna win

  
**HANZO** : Jesse, will you be dressing up?

  
**MCCREE** : fuck yeah

  
**MCCREE** : i already got mine too

  
**PHARAH** : I believe we all have our costumes ready.

  
**PHARAH** : Halloween is always a big deal in Overwatch.

  
**MERCY** : ^

  
**ANA** : ya

  
**GENJI** : how much do you want to bet hanzo doesn't have a costume yet

  
**D.VA** : 100 bucks

  
**HANZO** : Are you really betting even though I am here.

  
**D.VA** : 삼 촌 

  
**D.VA** : i want money

  
**GENJI** : lmao

  
**GENJI** : but really brother do you have a costume

  
**HANZO** : No.

  
**HANZO** : I was not aware that we were required to dress up.

  
**ANA** : rip

  
**D.VA** : LET ME HELP

  
**D.VA** : PLEASE

  
**MCCREE** : han darlin dont let her

  
**MCCREE** : she's the devil

  
**MCCREE** : worse than amari 

  
**ANA** : offended

  
**ANA** : im wonderful what the fuck are you talking about

  
**HANZO** : Yes, Hana, you may help me.

  
**D.VA** : NICE

  
**D.VA** : k first i need to know what 패자 삼촌 is gonna wear

  
**MCCREE** : god damnit fine

  
**MCCREE** : im lazy so im using an old costume

  
**MERCY** : Van Helsing?

  
**MCCREE** : ^

  
**D.VA** : holy shit that might actually make you look cool

  
**GENJI** : lol

  
**MCCREE** : i hate this place

  
**D.VA** : lmao k

  
**D.VA** : anyway I got an idea

  
**D.VA** : **_@HANZO_** can you come to my room i need measurements

  
**HANZO** : Fine.

  
**D.VA** : o shit and ** _@MERCY @PHARAH_** moms i need your help too

  
**PHARAH** : With what?

  
**MERCY** : ^

  
**D.VA** : secret

  
**D.VA** : just all of you come please!!

  
**HANZO** : I am on my way.

  
**MERCY** : Fareeha and I are on our way as well.

  
**D.VA** : k

  
**D.VA** : lmao later losers

  
**D.VA** : and meme grandma

 

**[D.VA, MERCY, PHARAH, AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE EXITED maximum spook]**

 

 **ANA** : guys

  
**ANA** : meet me in the common room

  
**GENJI** : k

  
**MCCREE** : sure

  
**MCCREE** : but why

  
**ANA** : we have to fucking decorate

  
**ANA** : for Halloween

  
**GENJI** : omfg jesse and I can finally help

  
**GENJI** : you never used to let us

  
**ANA** : yeah cause you two were shit eating idiots

  
**ANA** : i mean not much has changed

  
**ANA** : but I trust you both now

  
**ANA** : responsible boys

  
**MCCREE** : ms amari 

  
**MCCREE** : we

  
**MCCREE** : are

  
**MCCREE** : not

  
**MCCREE** : kids

  
**ANA** : k

  
**GENJI** : no use in arguing dumbass

  
**GENJI** : come on let's go

  
**MCCREE** : kay

 

**[JESSE MCCREE, AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE EXITED maximum spook]**

 

 **ANA** : pff decorating

  
**ANA** : im too lazy for that shit

  
**ANA** : lol time for Ana's meme school: loser edition

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS EXITED maximum spook]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get spOOKED
> 
> lmao sorry for maybe somewhat serious parts  
> but I can't keep that up for long so I can guarantee it'll always end with a joke or some shit
> 
> satya and hanzo are complaining buddies  
> they have meetings every week to complain together  
> genji also doesn't care  
> he'll try his best to kick everyone's asses in the contest  
> hanzo loves his cowboyfriend
> 
> and get ready kiddies  
> Ana's meme school is upon us 
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Translation notes: (feel free to correct me)  
> \- 삼 촌 : uncle  
> \- 패자 삼촌 : loser uncle


	8. Ana's Meme School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ana finally gathers the gang for her meme lesson.  
> Or at least tries to.

**[D.VA AND ANA AMARI HAVE JOINED THE VOICE CHANNEL maximum spook]**

 

 

**D.VA** : "k so we're in the call cause it'll automatically generate a transcript based on what we actually say, and how we type in the chatroom"

 

**D.VA** : "pretty fucking cool if you ask me"

 

**ANA** : "ya so everyone that's here, join the call on your communicator right now"

 

 

**[MERCY, PHARAH, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT   WILHELM HAVE JOINED THE VOICE CHANNEL maximum spook]**

 

 

**MCCREE** : "kay i got just one question for y'all"

 

**MCCREE** : "why are we doing this"

 

**GENJI** : "ya"

 

**ANA** : "simple"

 

**ANA** : "meme lesson kiddos"

 

**D.VA** : "f INALLY"

 

**D.VA** : "ive been dreaming about this day"

 

**HANZO** : "I'm not staying here for this foolishness."

 

**ANA** : "nah you are"

 

**ANA** : "Reinhardt is my bodyguard for this event"

 

**ANA** : "if you look behind you, you can see he's blocking the door"

 

**REINHARDT** : "hello my friends"

 

**MERCY** : "Hello, Reinhardt."

 

**ANA** : "k so none of you are leaving"

 

**ANA** : "you gotta sit through the whole lesson"

 

**PHARAH** : "Mother, why."

 

**ANA** : "cause these kiddies gotta learn, Fareeha."

 

**MCCREE** : "but we're not kids"

 

**MCCREE** : "except for hana"

 

**D.VA** : "EXCUSE YOU"

 

**D.VA** : "im an adult here too"

 

**D.VA** : "im fucking nineteen"

 

**MERCY** : "To be fair, most of you act like children."

 

**HANZO** : "All of you do. With some exceptions."

 

**ANA** : "alright everyone shut up the lesson is gonna start now"

 

**GENJI** : "k nice"

 

**ANA** : "Fareeha could you hit the lights for me?"

 

**PHARAH** : "Of course, Mother."

 

**ANA** : "thank you"

 

**D.VA** : "holy crap she made a presentation and everything"

 

**ANA** : "alright so first off I'm going to explain as jesse would put it, 'the fucks a dank'"

 

**MCCREE** : "im gonna run out of this room screaming"

 

**MCCREE** : "why can't we just let that go"

 

**GENJI** : "because."

 

**GENJI** : "its become like a meme within our group"

 

**ANA** : "see genji gets it"

 

**ANA** : "here take some candy"

 

**GENJI** : "are you serious"

 

**GENJI** : "i can't fucking eat."

 

**ANA** : "SHIT"

 

**ANA** : "sorry"

 

**GENJI** : "it's cool I don't care"

 

**GENJI** : "just miss eating"

 

**D.VA** : "rip"

 

**HANZO** : "You were already so picky that you would barely eat."

 

**GENJI** : "shhhh"

 

**ANA** : "people we're getting off topic here"

 

**MERCY** : "Yes, please stop interrupting. The faster she finishes, the faster we can go do what we need to do."

 

**PHARAH** : "Oh right, Hana needed us."

 

**D.VA** : "haha nope just brought you guys here"

 

**D.VA** : "was scheming with grandma Ana and gramps"

 

**REINHARDT** : "it was an ingenious plan."

 

**REINHARDT** : "we even got Hanzo here."

 

**ANA** : "ya hanzo's a real trooper"

 

**ANA** : "dealing with our memeing"

 

**ANA** : "and with jesse"

 

**MCCREE** : "ana why"

 

**MCCREE** : "he doesn't 'deal' with me"

 

**MCCREE** : "he fucking loves me"

 

**HANZO** : "I do."

 

**MCCREE** : "wait for real"

 

**MCCREE** : "you haven't said that before"

 

**D.VA** : "this is disgusting"

 

**GENJI** : "i agree"

 

**MERCY** : "I think it's sweet."

 

**ANA** : "PEOPLE"

 

**ANA** : "we are getting off topic again. we get it, the losers love each other. great"

 

**MCCREE** : "ruining my god damn moment"

 

**HANZO** : "Just be quiet so she can finish."

 

**ANA** : "please"

 

**ANA** : "k so dank means good or cool basically"

 

**D.VA** : "for example"

 

**D.VA** : "ana and reinhardt are dank as fuck"

 

**REINHARDT** : "precisely."

 

**PHARAH** : "I am well aware. You would encourage me to use that word when I was growing up."

 

**ANA** : "and look where we are now"

 

**ANA** : "fareeha continue my memeing legacy"

 

**PHARAH** : "If you wish, I will try."

 

**ANA** : "nice"

 

**ANA** : "now any questions"

 

**D.VA** : "nah"

 

**MCCREE** : "nope"

 

**GENJI** : "jesse are you sure?"

 

**MCCREE** : "genji i will murder you"

 

**GENJI** : "wow"

 

**GENJI** : "first Hanzo, now you"

 

**HANZO** : "Both of you stop. Let Ms. Amari finish so we can leave."

 

**ANA** : "should I be offended by that"

 

**D.VA** : "grandma you know he's just like that"

 

**D.VA** : "he means it in the nicest way possible,  right uncle?"

 

**HANZO** : "Fine."

 

**ANA** : "k so continuing"

 

**ANA** : "our first lecture will be about one of the golden years in memeing. can anyone guess what year this was"

 

**GENJI** : "2016"

 

**ANA** : "correct. now please tell us why you said that"

 

**GENJI** : "easy"

 

**GENJI** : "that year was an absolute shit show."

 

**REINHARDT** : "honestly."

 

**D.VA** : "come on it couldn't have been that bad"

 

**MCCREE** : "kid I remember learning about it in school"

 

**MCCREE** : "the whole chapter on 2016 in our history books was like a joke"

 

**MERCY** : "Well that is just America."

 

**ANA** : "the whole world was shit"

 

**HANZO** : "And it still isn't?"

 

**GENJI** : "true"

 

**ANA** : "alright ill give you that"

 

**ANA** : "but 2016 was the most shitty"

 

**REINHARDT** : "that it was."

 

**PHARAH** : "Wasn't that the year with the clown attacks in America too?"

 

**ANA** : "im so proud"

 

**PHARAH** : "I only know because you would show me memes of it."

 

**ANA** : "i was training you"

 

**ANA** : "and it worked."

 

**ANA** : "Fareeha, you are free to leave. You pass."

 

**D.VA** : "god damnit"

 

**ANA** : "genji too"

 

**GENJI** : "NICE"

 

**GENJI** : "LATER LOSERS"

 

**GENJI** : "ESPECIALLY JESSE"

 

**MCCREE** : "please leave"

 

**PHARAH** : "Angie, I'll see you once you're done. Maybe have lunch together?"

 

**MERCY** : "Of course, I'd love to."

 

**D.VA** : "KISS"

 

**PHARAH** : "I think it's an appropriate time to leave."

 

**GENJI** : "chicken"

 

**MCCREE** : "ha little fareeah's too shy to kiss her girlfriend"

 

**PHARAH** : "Are you really in any position to call me shy?"

 

**ANA** : "o shit"

 

**MCCREE** : "are you accusing me of being shy"

 

**MCCREE** : "me"

 

**MCCREE** : "jesse fucking mccree"

 

**MCCREE** : "shy."

 

**GENJI** : "prove it cowboy"

 

**MCCREE** : "gladly"

 

**HANZO** : "Must we do this in front of everyone."

 

**MCCREE** : "yes"

 

**MCCREE** : "now get over here"

 

**D.VA** : "GROSS OLD MEN"

 

**D.VA** : "SOMEONE SEPARATE THEM"

 

**GENJI** : "jesse i will pay you one hundred dollars to just stop."

 

**MCCREE** : "suck it y'all"

 

**HANZO** : "Hana don't even think of saying it."

 

**D.VA** : "you're no fun"

 

**MCCREE** : "see fareeha"

 

**MCCREE** : "that's how you do it"

 

**ANA** : "alright i take it back. genji, fareeha you both stay."

 

**ANA** : "everyone is dismissed once we help fareeha get past being shy about this"

 

**PHARAH** : "Mother."

 

**PHARAH** : "Why must you be this way?"

 

**ANA** : "shhh we can help"

 

**ANA** : "well mostly jesse and hanzo"

 

**ANA** : "maybe genji too"

 

**GENJI** : "again trusted with the love life issues"

 

**GENJI** : "overwatch would be hopeless without me."

 

**GENJI** : "wait first let's hear what wonderful advice Hanzo has."

 

**GENJI** : "Brother, please blow us away."

 

**HANZO** : "Fine. If you want my advice I will give it."

 

**HANZO** : "Fareeha, you would consider most people here your close friends, correct?"

 

**PHARAH** : "Yes of course."

 

**HANZO** : "So then it's simple. You shouldn't care what they think if you kiss her in front of them."

 

**HANZO** : "They don't even mind. They'd simply just tease."

 

**GENJI** : "shit he had actual good advice"

 

**D.VA** : "gg uncle"

 

**MCCREE** : "never say gg again."

 

**REINHARDT** : "now Fareeha, did that help?"

 

**ANA** : "gg hanzo"

 

**MCCREE** : "god they're exactly the same"

 

**PHARAH** : "Yes. Yes it did."

 

**MERCY** : "Fareeha, you don't have to if you don't want to."

 

**MERCY** : "I mean this all started because of Hana and her jokes."

 

**D.VA** : "ya sorry moms"

 

**PHARAH** : "It is alright."

 

**PHARAH** : "Now, Angie. If I may.."

 

**MCCREE** : "nice"

 

**GENJI** : "very nice"

 

**GENJI** : "good job, brother"

 

**HANZO** : "Thank you."

 

**MCCREE** : "hey han"

 

**MCCREE** : "that was real nice of you helpin fareeha"

 

**HANZO** : "I simply gave advice."

 

**GENJI** : "but good advice"

 

**GENJI** : "you definitely fit in perfectly fine here, brother."

 

**GENJI** : "i am glad"

 

**MCCREE** : "same"

 

**D.VA** : "stop let the moms have their moment"

 

**ANA** : "im so happy for my girl"

 

**PHARAH** : "Thank you, Mother."

 

**REINHARDT** : "it is truly a great time in overwatch."

 

**ANA** : "ya"

 

**ANA** : "halloweens coming up"

 

**ANA** : "and no big missions yet"

 

**GENJI** : "pretty sweet not gonna lie"

 

 

**[WINSTON HAS JOINED THE VOICE CHANNEL maximum spook]**

 

 

**WINSTON** : "I hate to interrupt, but I have some urgent news."

 

**ANA** : "o shit what's up?"

 

**WINSTON** : "I'd like everyone to please meet at the air hangar. We have a new recruit coming in."

 

**REINHARDT** : "we will be there momentarily."

 

**WINSTON** : "Thank you. I will see you all there."

 

 

**[WINSTON HAS EXITED THE VOICE CHANNEL maximum spook]**

 

 

 

**ANA:** "well fuck"

 

**ANA** : "there goes my meme lesson"

 

**ANA** : "are you all proud."

 

**ANA** : "you messed it up with your drama."

 

**D.VA** : "aww can't we just have another lesson?"

 

**MCCREE** : "kid why even open your mouth."

 

**ANA** : "shit you right."

 

**ANA** : "k I'll plan it all out after we see this new recruit."

 

**GENJI** : "let's roll lads"

 

**MCCREE** : "and im the loser"

 

**MCCREE** : "what the fuck you just used the word lads"

 

**GENJI** : "shhhh jesse let's go."

 

**MCCREE** : "kay"

 

**HANZO** : "Children."

 

 

**[D.VA, MERCY, PHARAH, ANA AMARI, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE EXITED THE VOICE CHANNEL maximum spook]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> o shit new recruit
> 
> don't worry, Ana will continue her wonderful lesson  
> much to everyone's dismay  
> grandma must pass down the memes
> 
> halloween chat real soon
> 
> and the next few updates might take a bit, so I apologize in advance  
> earliest next part will be up is Thursday
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	9. A Gay Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Overwatch is a gay mess.
> 
> Ana uncovers something pretty big.  
> And the rest already start skipping Halloween.

**[D.VA, MERCY, PHARAH, SYMMETRA, TRACER, WINSTON, ZARYA, ANA AMARI, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, HANZO SHIMADA, REINHARDT WILHELM, AND MEI-LING ZHOU HAVE ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **TRACER** : :o

 

 **TRACER** : Is this the first time we're all in the chatroom together??

 

 **D.VA** : idk

 

 **D.VA** : dude this is gonna get fucking c RAZY

 

 **MCCREE** : oh man I remember how bad it got back in the day when we were all here

 

 **GENJI** : absolute madness

 

 **GENJI** : it was wonderful

 

 **ANA** : ^

 

 **ANA** : yo so anyway

 

 **ANA** : Winston you're gonna add the new recruit now?

 

 **WINSTON** : Yes, I am adding him as we speak.

 

 **ANA** : nice

 

 

**[WINSTON HAS ADDED SOLDIER: 76 TO THE CHATROOM maximum spook]**

 

 

**[SOLDIER: 76 HAS ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : wait that's his call-sign

 

 **GENJI** : lmao lame

 

 **GENJI** : none of you will be as cool as me

 

 **ANA** : w0w

 

 **GENJI** : forgive me Ana

 

 **GENJI** : you keep your title as coolest 

 

 **D.VA** : wait aren't we technically all soldiers

 

 **MEI** : You're right! ( ◠‿◠ )

 

 **D.VA** : k then

 

 **D.VA** : I call being soldier 69

 

 **LÚCIO** : omfg Hana 

 

 **76** : Kid, that's not how it works.

 

 **D.VA** : sure dad

 

 **D.VA** : lmao anyway welcome!!

 

 **MCCREE** : ^

 

 **MCCREE** : good luck with putting up with all our bullshit

 

 **HANZO** : All the luck in the world couldn't help.

 

 **GENJI** : wow brother

 

 **GENJI** : what are you talking about

 

 **GENJI** : we're all blessings

 

 **ANA** : wait a second

 

 **ANA** : i just got a good look at this guy

 

 **PHARAH** : Mother, please do not harass the new recruit.

 

 **ANA** : shhhh Fareeha

 

 **ANA** : let mother figure something out

 

 **D.VA** : **_@SOLDIER:76_** yo pops you should hide

 

 **D.VA** : dealing with nana isn't fun

 

 **LÚCIO** : ^

 

 

**[SOLDIER: 76 AND ANA AMARI HAVE GONE IDLE]**

 

 

 **MEI** : I wonder what that was about...

 

 **TRACER** : Just Ana being Ana :D

 

 **ZARYA** : Ms. Mei

 

 **MEI** : ?

 

 **ZARYA** : Do you require assistance in your lab?

 

 **MEI** : I suppose help would be nice! （＾∇＾）

 

 **ZARYA** : alright 

 

 **ZARYA** : Lunch after?

 

 **MEI** : Of course!! ( ◠‿◠ )

 

 **ZARYA** : Okay

 

 **ZARYA** : Я на моем пути. 

 

 

**[ZARYA HAS EXITED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **TRACER** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **GENJI** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **D.VA** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **MCCREE** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **REINHARDT** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **HANZO** : You are all idiots.

 

 **MCCREE** : ya but at least im your idiot

 

 **GENJI** : stop it

 

 **GENJI** : we were chastising Mei

 

 **GENJI** : stop being so gay ffs 

 

 **HANZO** : No.

 

 **D.VA** : o fucc 

 

 **LÚCIO** : come on guys

 

 **LÚCIO** : everyone be nice

 

 **TRACER** : But we are nice!

 

 **TRACER** : We just show it in a different way :)

 

 **MEI** : If you guys are done, I'm going to go back to work! ( ◠‿◠ )

 

 **TRACER** : Mei! Ask her out already!

 

 **MEI** : Maybe.

 

 **REINHARDT** : dont you mean

 

 **REINHARDT** : mei-be

 

 **D.VA** : that's it

 

 **D.VA** : im done

 

 **D.VA** : i think if i jump out of this window itll be enough to kill me

 

 **MCCREE** : let me jump too

 

 **MCCREE** : rein 

 

 **MCCREE** : never again

 

 **REINHARDT** : :^)

 

 **GENJI** : what the fuck are you guys talking about

 

 **GENJI** : that was amazing 

 

 **GENJI** : gg reinhardt 

 

 **REINHARDT** : thank you, my friend

 

 **MEI** : Okay guys, I really have to go now. She's here!

 

 **LÚCIO** : gl!!

 

 **TRACER** : Yeah! :D

 

 **MEI** : Thanks!!

 

 

**[MEI-LING ZHOU HAS EXITED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : who do you guys think will ask

 

 **MCCREE** : 20 bucks that mei does 

 

 **GENJI** : 50 that zarya does 

 

 **HANZO** : Both of you are fools.

 

 **HANZO** : 100 dollars that they both confess.

 

 **TRACER** : :o

 

 **D.VA** : woah even you're getting in on the bet

 

 **D.VA** : nice

 

 **GENJI** : aw man i know im going to lose now

 

 **GENJI** : he only bets when he knows he's right

 

 **HANZO** : And I am correct on this.

 

 **GENJI** : ill swing by your room later to pay you already

 

 **MCCREE** : god damn im losing 20 bucks

 

 **MCCREE** : that's all i got rn

 

 **D.VA** : ha

 

 **HANZO** : Keep your money. I wouldn't do that to you.

 

 **D.VA** : this is sickeningly sweet

 

 **REINHARDT** : ^

 

 **MCCREE** : aHHHHH I HAVE A N I C E BOYFRIEND

 

 **GENJI** : who tried to murder your best friend

 

 **MCCREE** : shhh 

 

 **GENJI** : i mean i cant blame him

 

 **GENJI** : i would have tried to kill younger me too

 

 **REINHARDT** : weren't we all annoying when we were young?

 

 **D.VA** : tbh

 

 **MCCREE** : wtf

 

 **MCCREE** : you're still annoying

 

 **D.VA** : i was way worse before 

 

 **HANZO** : I'd believe it.

 

 **GENJI** : w0w

 

 **LÚCIO** : rip 

 

 

**[JUNKRAT AND ROADHOG HAVE ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **JUNKRAT** : HEY EVERYONE

 

 **JUNKRAT** : ME AND ROADIE ARE MAKING DINNER TONIGHT

 

 **JUNKRAT** : SO WHOEVER WAS IN CHARGE FOR TONIGHT DONT WORRY

 

 **ROADHOG** : Yeah.

 

 **JUNKRAT** : K NOW ROADIE

 

 **JUNKRAT** : LETS GO FINISH OUR DELICIOUS MEAL

 

 **ROADHOG** : Okay.

 

 **ROADHOG** : Don't make a mess.

 

 **JUNKRAT** : OKAY

 

 

**[JUNKRAT AND ROADHOG HAVE EXITED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **MERCY** : Who was in charge of cooking duty today? 

 

 **D.VA** : me

 

 **D.VA** : oh and cowboi

 

 **MCCREE** : ya 

 

 **MCCREE** : aw man I was looking forward to cooking

 

 **LÚCIO** : woah uncle you can cook?

 

 **D.VA** : uncle 

 

 **D.VA** : more like uncool 

 

 **TRACER** : :(

 

 **GENJI** : pffff 

 

 

**[REINHARDT WILHELM HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: uncle (D.VA)]**

 

 

**[REINHARDT WILHELM HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: more like uncool (D.VA)]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : dude not even mad

 

 **MCCREE** : that was a good one

 

 **D.VA** : im on fire today

 

 **D.VA** : first soldier 69

 

 **D.VA** : now this

 

 **GENJI** : gg

 

 **TRACER** : Hana are you streaming again tonight??

 

 **D.VA** : ya

 

 **D.VA** : with Satya c:

 

 **SYMMETRA** : Yes. We are playing Tetris.

 

 **D.VA** : pfff you're going down girl

 

 **D.VA** : as you know I am great at everything I do.

 

 **D.VA** : im the best

 

 **GENJI** : after me

 

 **REINHARDT** : and you're after Ana 

 

 **MCCREE** : ^

 

 **MERCY** : Wasn't there a tier list of coolness back in the day?

 

 **PHARAH** : Yes there was. 

 

 **PHARAH** : I believe my mother and Commander Morrison made it.

 

 **MCCREE** : lmao yeah

 

 **MCCREE** : gabe helped too

 

 **REINHARDT** : we need to update the list

 

 **GENJI** : hell yeah

 

 **GENJI** : we'll do it during dinner

 

 **D.VA** : yeah!! everyone will be there lmao 

 

 **WINSTON** : **_@SYMMETRA_** I hate to interrupt, but could you assist me in my lab?

 

 **SYMMETRA** : Of course. I will be there momentarily.

 

 **WINSTON** : Thank you.

 

 **SYMMETRA** : It is not a problem.

 

 

**[SYMMETRA AND WINSTON HAVE EXITED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : tbh Satya is pretty cool

 

 **LÚCIO** : yeah I talked to her a bit

 

 **LÚCIO** : she's pretty okay 

 

 **HANZO** : That girl is 

 

 **HANZO** : What would you all call it.

 

 **GENJI** : ?

 

 **HANZO** : A gay mess.

 

 **MCCREE** : oh my god 

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: A gay mess. (HANZO SHIMADA)]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : isn't that all of overwatch tho

 

 **MERCY** : That should be out slogan by now. 

 

 **GENJI** : "Overwatch: A gay mess"

 

 **TRACER** : Writing it on the board in the conference room :D

 

 **REINHARDT** : nice

 

 **LÚCIO** : put that in the holiday card

 

 **GENJI** : please

 

 **GENJI** : whoever is in charge of it

 

 **REINHARDT** : ana and I are my friend

 

 **REINHARDT** : we will be sure to include it

 

 **GENJI** : good good

 

 **MERCY** : How is the card working this year? I remember we always had the one big group picture, then some people would request separate ones.

 

 **REINHARDT** : yes we will be doing that again

 

 **MCCREE** : han darlin 

 

 **MCCREE** : please tell me we'll do a picture together 

 

 **HANZO** : Yes we will.

 

 **MCCREE** : NICE

 

 **MCCREE** : gracias mi amor <3 

 

 **HANZO** : <3

 

 **GENJI** : jesse please tell me we're doing ours again

 

 **HANZO** : You two used to do a picture together?

 

 **MCCREE** : ya

 

 **MCCREE** : we always took the dumbest pictures tbh 

 

 **GENJI** : it was great

 

 **MCCREE** : we'll definitely do one this year

 

 **GENJI** : fucking nice

 

 **GENJI** : we gotta brainstorm for ideas

 

 **MCCREE** : k

 

 **D.VA** : i request one with uncle and uncool 

 

 **D.VA** : pls 

 

 **HANZO** : Fine.

 

 **MCCREE** : one condition 

 

 **MCCREE** : call me something normal 

 

 **D.VA** : sure thing ocelot 

 

 **MCCREE** : ill take it

 

 **GENJI** : **_@HANZO_** 私はあなたが我々 は一緒に写真を取っている知っている願っています。

 

 **HANZO** : 明らかに。

 

 **REINHARDT** : start sending us your requests after Halloween please

 

 **TRACER** : Yeah, don't forget about Halloween :(

 

 

**[SOLDIER: 76 AND ANA AMARI HAVE RE-ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **ANA** : holy fuck guys

 

 **ANA** : holy shit

 

 **PHARAH** : What is it, Mother?

 

 **76** : Please stop.

 

 **ANA** : nope

 

 **ANA** : **_@everyone_** 76 is fucking Morrison

 

 **ANA** : he's alive and didn't tell us

 

 **REINHARDT** : i mean you did the same

 

 **REINHARDT** : but what the hell Jack

 

 **REINHARDT** : I spoke at your funeral

 

 **REINHARDT** : wtf

 

 **MCCREE** : jesus christ is anyone else we care about still alive

 

 **MERCY** : I would not be surprised.

 

 **76** : You know what, fuck it.

 

 **76** : Reaper is Reyes.

 

 **MCCREE** : wait what

 

 **MCCREE** : you've gotta be fucking kidding me

 

 **MCCREE** : that sack of shit is on their side now?

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : oh no

 

 **ANA** : that's gabe?

 

 **ANA** : what the fuck 

 

 **ANA** : what the fuck

 

 **76** : Yes, it's him.

 

 **REINHARDT** : well shit 

 

 **D.VA** : is mccree okay??

 

 **PHARAH** : I'd imagine he wouldn't take it well. 

 

 **PHARAH** : Mr. Reyes was his mentor for a long time.

 

 **PHARAH** : Almost like a father figure to him.

 

 **GENJI** : ^

 

 **LÚCIO** : oh man i really feel bad for him

 

 **HANZO** : He is currently yelling about it.

 

 **HANZO** : I think it's best to let him get it out.

 

 **MERCY** : Yes, that is true.

 

 **GENJI** : brother, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid while he's mad

 

 **D.VA** : ^

 

 **HANZO** : Too late.

 

 **HANZO** : He punched the wall with his good arm.

 

 **TRACER** : :(

 

 **HANZO** : And now he's crying.

 

 **HANZO** : I will be back.

 

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 

 **MERCY** : I should go prep the medical wing.

 

 **MERCY** : I need to check if it is a severe injury.

 

 **PHARAH** : Angie, do you mind if I go too?

 

 **PHARAH** : I want to talk to Jesse about it.

 

 **MERCY** : Of course, Fareeha. Feel free to come.

 

 **PHARAH** : Thank you.

 

 **MERCY** : It's not a problem. <3

 

 **PHARAH** : <3

 

 

**[MERCY AND PHARAH HAVE EXITED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **ANA** : Jack

 

 **ANA** : thank you for telling us 

 

 **76** : Had to tell someone.

 

 **REINHARDT** : it is good to know you're alive 

 

 **REINHARDT** : even though you could have given us a call or something 

 

 **ANA** : ^

 

 **D.VA** : didn't grandma ana do the same tho 

 

 **REINHARDT** : true 

 

 **REINHARDT** : you're both assholes

 

 **REINHARDT** : making me think my best friends were dead 

 

 **ANA** : at least we came back

 

 **ANA** : and in time for Halloween 

 

 **76** : You guys are having the party again?

 

 **REINHARDT** : duh

 

 **GENJI** : ^

 

 **GENJI** : it's not overwatch without the Halloween party 

 

 **TRACER** : :D

 

 **TRACER** : All in all, I'm glad you're both alive!!

 

 **TRACER** : Just sad about Reyes :(

 

 **ANA** : yeah

 

 **ANA** : go get your boyfriend back Jack 

 

 **76** : Stop.

 

 **D.VA** : more gays 

 

 **D.VA** : what a surprise 

 

 **LÚCIO** : wait that dudes for real his boyfriend??

 

 **GENJI** : yes

 

 **GENJI** : well they dated before everything went to shit

 

 **GENJI** : idk what happened to them

 

 **REINHARDT** : none of us do

 

 **76** : Hell

 

 **76** : I'm leaving.

 

 **ANA** : make sure to be back for dinner

 

 **76** : I will.

 

 

**[SOLDIER: 76 HAS EXITED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **REINHARDT** : i can't believe he's still alive 

 

 **D.VA** : at least you got your buddy back!!

 

 **TRACER** : ^

 

 **GENJI** : that makes 4 for the undead club 

 

 **ANA** : lol 

 

 **ANA** : ill knit us all matching sweaters

 

 **ANA** : idk how we would get it to gabe tho

 

 **GENJI** : fuck i really feel bad for jesse 

 

 **GENJI** : i want to help but idk how

 

 **D.VA** : we should do something special for him

 

 **LÚCIO** : i got an idea

 

 **GENJI** : shoot

 

 **LÚCIO** : movie night

 

 **TRACER** : All his western movies he likes?

 

 **LÚCIO** : yup

 

 **D.VA** : SMART

 

 **REINHARDT** : he would appreciate that 

 

 **ANA** : ya he would

 

 **ANA** : ill set up the common room

 

 **REINHARDT** : i shall help you

 

 **GENJI** : same

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE RE-ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : hey y'all 

 

 **GENJI** : jesse are you okay

 

 **MCCREE** : i guess

 

 **MCCREE** : hanzo calmed me down a bit

 

 **MCCREE** : but it's just a lot to take in

 

 **GENJI** : i could imagine

 

 **D.VA** : we're all really sorry uncle

 

 **D.VA** : that really sucks

 

 **TRACER** : :( yeah

 

 **MCCREE** : it's cool

 

 **MCCREE** : not like it's any of yalls fault 

 

 **HANZO** : Just know that we are all here for you.

 

 **REINHARDT** : that we are

 

 **MCCREE** : shit 

 

 **MCCREE** : thank you guys

 

 **MCCREE** : means a lot

 

 **GENJI** : honestly I hate seeing you upset like this

 

 **GENJI** : you're the one who's always so happy out of all of us

 

 **GENJI** : i feel like we owe it to you to make you feel better

 

 **GENJI** : cause you're always so upbeat for us

 

 **MCCREE** : y'all don't owe me anything 

 

 **MCCREE** : that's just me being me lmao

 

 **ANA** : cheer up, cowboy

 

 **ANA** : were gonna do something special for you

 

 **D.VA** : ya

 

 **LÚCIO** : dude you'll love it

 

 **MCCREE** : o shit I read up

 

 **MCCREE** : we don't have to if y'all don't want to

 

 **GENJI** : jesse 

 

 **GENJI** : we fucking want to

 

 **HANZO** : Just accept their kindness.

 

 **MCCREE** : alright darlin 

 

 **MCCREE** : thanks y'all 

 

 **ANA** : but first Angela wants to check your arm

 

 **MCCREE** : shit

 

 **D.VA** : gg punching walls 

 

 **TRACER** : :(

 

 **MCCREE** : don't worry ill go

 

 **MCCREE** : gotta make sure im good for Halloween 

 

 **ANA** : the party is gonna be fucking amazing don't worry

 

 **REINHARDT** : ^ 

 

 **GENJI** : i don't doubt it

 

 **D.VA** : im gonna decimate in that costume contest

 

 **MCCREE** : kid those are fighting words

 

 **HANZO** : Please don't beat up Hana.

 

 **ANA** : lol

 

 **ANA** : wait guys lets go do everything we have to do

 

 **ANA** : then we meet in the common room at 20:00 to watch the movies

 

 **MCCREE** : sounds like a plan

 

 **MCCREE** : han, come with me to the medical wing?

 

 **HANZO** : Of course.

 

 **MCCREE** : thanks

 

 **MCCREE** : i love you btw

 

 **HANZO** : I love you too, Jesse.

 

 **TRACER** : :o

 

 **GENJI** : hana dont say a thing

 

 **GENJI** : let them have their moment

 

 **ANA** : gay

 

 **D.VA** : ^

 

 **REINHARDT** : come on guys

 

 **REINHARDT** : everyone else come to the common room to set up

 

 **D.VA** : k

 

 **LÚCIO** : i hear you

 

 **TRACER** : got it

 

 **ANA** : ttyl losers

 

 

**[D.VA, TRACER, ANA AMARI, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE EXITED maximum spook]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy time for some mcsuffering  
> but don't worry, the cowboi will be okay!  
> hanzo's a real sweetie on the inside
> 
> reinhardt deserves better  
> but at least he's got most of his buddies back
> 
> fINALLY  
> halloween log next!
> 
> Translation notes: (feel free to correct me)  
> \- Я на моем пути. : I am on my way.  
> \- gracias mi amor : thanks my love  
> \- 私はあなたが我々 は一緒に写真を取っている知っている願っています。: I hope you know we're taking a photo together.  
> \- 明らかに。: Obviously.
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	10. an attempt at Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for the annual Overwatch Halloween party.
> 
> Hana is a genius.
> 
>  
> 
> Whoops the chatroom might have been hacked.

**[D.VA, AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : YO 삼촌 

  
**D.VA** : happy halloween!!

  
**HANZO** : You too, Hana.

  
**D.VA** : can you help me with something?

  
**HANZO** : With what.

  
**D.VA** : can you just distract mccree for me

  
**D.VA** : please?

  
**HANZO** : Why.

  
**D.VA** : just cause

  
**D.VA** : pls

  
**D.VA** : im begging you

  
**HANZO** : Fine.

  
**D.VA** : NICE

  
**D.VA** : YOURE THE BEST

  
**D.VA** : after ana

  
**D.VA** : k so can you go distract him rn?

  
**HANZO** : How long do you need.

  
**D.VA** : like

  
**D.VA** : idk

  
**D.VA** : 10 mins max

  
**HANZO** : Fine.

  
**D.VA** : thank

 

 

**[D.VA AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE GONE IDLE]**

 

 

-

 

 

**[MERCY, PHARAH, SOLDIER: 76, TRACER, ZARYA, ANA AMARI, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, GENJI SHIMADA, REINHARDT WILHELM, AND MEI-LING ZHOU HAVE ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **ANA** : **_@everyone_** It's COCKtober u know what that means dick sucking awareness month S end this to your 12 closest hoes that love that dick

 

 **GENJI** : im fucking sobbing

  
**REINHARDT** : ah a classic

  
**ANA** : dude i miss when copypastas were good

  
**REINHARDT** : back when they were just madness 

  
**ANA** : the good old days tbh

  
**PHARAH** : What am I even looking at?

  
**MERCY** : ^

  
**ANA** : copypasta

  
**ANA** : now send it to your 12 closest hoes Fareeha

  
**LÚCIO** : lol

  
**GENJI** : k as much as I hate breaking up a good meme session

  
**GENJI** : i have an announcement to make

  
**TRACER** : :o

  
**TRACER** : What is it??

  
**GENJI** : k so

  
**GENJI** : m Y MASTER CAME HERE TO JOIN US ZINSJAJ

  
**GENJI** : he's great

  
**ANA** : gay

  
**GENJI** : dude it's nothing like that

  
**LÚCIO** : well im sure he's a great guy!!

  
**GENJI** : thank you lúcio

  
**GENJI** : <3

  
**LÚCIO** : <3

  
**REINHARDT** : w oah

  
**REINHARDT** : now that's pretty gay

  
**GENJI** : shhhh

  
**PHARAH** : Just dudes being bros?

  
**ANA** : HOLY SHIT

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: Just dudes being bros? (PHARAH)]**

 

 

 **ANA** : my little fareeha

  
**ANA** : you have made your mother very proud on this day

  
**REINHARDT** : gg

  
**PHARAH** : Thank you.

  
**GENJI** : k guys im gonna add him now

  
**GENJI** : can you all act like normal human beings for once please

  
**ANA** : that's a negative

  
**REINHARDT** : ^

  
**LÚCIO** : come on guys

  
**LÚCIO** : can't you at least try?

  
**TRACER** : ^

  
**TRACER** : Please? :D

  
**MEI** : Sure!!

  
**ZARYA** : Yes

  
**GENJI** : nice

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS ADDED ZENYATTA TO THE CHATROOM maximum spook]**

 

**[D.VA AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE RE-ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : HAPPY HALLOWEEN FUCKERS

 

 **GENJI** : of course this would happen

  
**ANA** : It's COCKtober u know what that means Dick sucking awareness month S end this to 12 of ur closest hoes that love that dick

  
**D.VA** : omfg

  
**D.VA** : It's COCKtober u know what that means Dick sucking awareness month S end this to 12 of ur closest hoes that love that dick

  
**REINHARDT** : It's COCKtober u know what that means Dick sucking awareness month S end this to 12 of ur closest hoes that love that dick

  
**PHARAH** : It's COCKtober u know what that means Dick sucking awareness month S end this to 12 of ur closest hoes that love that dick

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : It's COCKtober u know what that means Dick sucking awareness month S end this to 12 of ur closest hoes that love that dick

  
**HANZO** : Jesse.

  
**HANZO** : Why.

  
**MCCREE** : it's a quality meme

  
**GENJI** : well that went to shit real fast

  
**GENJI** : are you all happy with yourselves

  
**LÚCIO** : sorry genji

  
**GENJI** : it's cool you were normal

  
**GENJI** : the rest of you assholes didn't

  
**ANA** : lmao rip

  
**ANA** : anyway

  
**ANA** : **_@ZENYATTA_** welcome to hell

  
**ANA** : enjoy

  
**GENJI** : ana i swear

  
**GENJI** : Master please excuse them all

  
**GENJI** : they're always like this

  
**ZENYATTA** : Everyone is different.

  
**ZENYATTA** : It is very nice to meet you all.

  
**ANA** : lmao you too

  
**REINHARDT** : ^

  
**PHARAH** : Mother. Is this really how you want your first encounter to be like?

  
**ANA** : ya

  
**ANA** : better him get used to me rn 

  
**MCCREE** : smart

  
**LÚCIO** : lol yeah

  
**TRACER** : :o Is he going to come to the Halloween party??

  
**GENJI** : i mean he can if he wants

  
**GENJI** : **_@ZENYATTA_** Master, if you want we have a Halloween party later

  
**GENJI** : it'll be pretty fun

  
**ZENYATTA** : I would be happy to attend.

  
**MEI** : Nice!!

  
**GENJI** : aight nice

  
**GENJI** : would you like me to help you with a quick costume?

  
**ZENYATTA** : Yes, I would appreciate that.

  
**GENJI** : k

  
**GENJI** : let's go do that rn then

  
**GENJI** : party's soon

  
**ZENYATTA** : Alright.

 

 

**[ZENYATTA AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE EXITED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : o shit the party

  
**MCCREE** : what time is it

  
**MCCREE** : god damn why do I keep doing this to myself

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: what time is it (JESSE MCCREE)]**

 

 

 **ANA** : never play yourself

  
**PHARAH** : Another meme?

  
**REINHARDT** : precisely

  
**ANA** : so proud

  
**MERCY** : **_@MCCREE_** It's at 21:00

  
**MCCREE** : aw hell thats in like 2 hours

  
**D.VA** : ha im already ready

  
**D.VA** : yall should enjoy it :^))

  
**MCCREE** : did

  
**MCCREE** : did you just say yall

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: yall should enjoy it :^)) (D.VA)]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : now it's my turn to be proud

  
**D.VA** : 패자 삼촌 chill

  
**D.VA** : it was sarcasm

  
**HANZO** : Let him have his moment.

  
**D.VA** : g ay

  
**TRACER** : Someone called? :D

  
**LÚCIO** : lmao

  
**ANA** : can't we just replace **_@everyone_** with _**@gay**_

  
**D.VA** : P L E A S E

 

 

**[REINHARDT WILHELM HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: can't we just replace @everyone with @gay (ANA AMARI)]**

 

 

 **REINHARDT** : pure gold

  
**MERCY** : Fareeha is currently laughing like a madwoman.

  
**MERCY** : It is cute :)

  
**D.VA** : **_@gay_**

  
**ANA** : a new meme was born today

  
**REINHARDT** : and it's beautiful

  
**REINHARDT** : gg ana

  
**MCCREE** : with the gg again

  
**MCCREE** : stop

  
**D.VA** : gg

  
**REINHARDT** : gg

  
**ANA** : gg

  
**LÚCIO** : gg

  
**TRACER** : gg

  
**MEI** : gg

  
**MCCREE** : why do y'all have to unite like this against me

  
**HANZO** : gg

  
**MCCREE** : EVEN YOU

  
**D.VA** : don't get a divorce pls

  
**MCCREE** : k id

  
**MCCREE** : we ain't even married

  
**ANA** : you better let me be the ring bearer

  
**MCCREE** : idk I was thinking about letting angie do it

  
**MCCREE** : both of y'all gotta make your case to me

  
**MCCREE** : genji would obviously be my best man

  
**HANZO** : He would be mine.

  
**HANZO** : Why are we even planning this.

  
**D.VA** : cause it's fun

  
**MCCREE** : ya

  
**ANA** : who knows maybe you'll be legit planning it one day

  
**MCCREE** : lmao I hope

  
**HANZO** : As do I.

  
**LÚCIO** : you guys are so sweet to each other tbh

  
**TRACER** : ^

  
**D.VA** : honestly

  
**MEI** : It's nice to see you two like that! ( ◠‿◠ )

  
**MCCREE** : thank

  
**ANA** : yo guys i think we should get ready for the party

  
**ZARYA** : A smart idea.

  
**REINHARDT** : ^

  
**MCCREE** : k ill see yall later

  
**LÚCIO** : ya

  
**TRACER** : Yep :D

  
**D.VA** : later losers

  
**ANA** : damn i was gonna say that

 

 

**[D.VA, MERCY, PHARAH, SOLDIER: 76, TRACER, ZARYA, ANA AMARI, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, JESSE MCCREE, HANZO SHIMADA, REINHARDT WILHELM, AND MEI-LING ZHOU HAVE EXITED maximum spook]**

 

 

-

 

 

**[D.VA AND LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS HAVE ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **LÚCIO** : dude omfg your costume

  
**LÚCIO** : how did you steal his stuff??

  
**D.VA** : easy

  
**D.VA** : got hot tits to distract him

  
**LÚCIO** : my god Hana

  
**LÚCIO** : he's gonna kill you

  
**D.VA** : nah

  
**D.VA** : he'll probably be too drunk to even care

  
**D.VA** : if there's booze

  
**D.VA** : which i mean it's overwatch

  
**D.VA** : almost everyone has a flask on them at all times

  
**LÚCIO** : true true

  
**LÚCIO** : but you don't know what type of drunk he is

  
**D.VA** : pfff he's probably a happy drunk

  
**D.VA** : u GHHHH I DONT SEE HIM

 

 

**[SOLDIER: 76 HAS ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : DAD

  
**D.VA** : YO

  
**76** : Why are you two even texting if you're next to each other?

  
**LÚCIO** : why are you here asking us here when you can just ask us face to face

  
**D.VA** : ^

  
**D.VA** : btw what the hell is your costume

  
**D.VA** : it's gross

  
**76** : I reused an old costume.

  
**D.VA** : you guys are lame

  
**D.VA** : reusing costumes

  
**76** : Kid, you do realize you're using old stuff too right?

  
**D.VA** : it's different tho

  
**D.VA** : not my own stuff

  
**D.VA** : only the hat, buckle, and boots are his

  
**D.VA** : they're way too big for me but idc

  
**D.VA** : gotta sacrifice to have a meme worthy costume

  
**LÚCIO** : tbh

  
**LÚCIO** : im that frog thing that ana and reinhardt taught us about

  
**76** : It's called dat boi.

  
**76** : Stop with your dead memes.

  
**LÚCIO** : nah

  
**LÚCIO** : im making them proud

  
**D.VA** : O SHIT I SEE MCCREE

 

 

**[D.VA HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 

 **LÚCIO** : oh boy this should be interesting

  
**LÚCIO** : lets go watch dad

  
**76** : Fine

 

 

**[SOLDIER: 76 AND LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS HAVE GONE IDLE]**

 

 

-

 

 

**[D.VA AND LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS HAVE RE-ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **LÚCIO** : dude omfg

  
**LÚCIO** : you might wanna hide

  
**D.VA** : nah

  
**D.VA** : he can f ight me

  
**D.VA** : MY COSTUME IS GREAT

  
**D.VA** : **_@gay_** HOWDY Y'ALL I'M MCCREE THE GAYEST COWBOY THIS SIDE OF THE RIO GRANDE

  
**D.VA** : thats how cowboys talk right?

  
**LÚCIO** : holy crap man

 

 

**[TRACER, ANA AMARI, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **ANA** : h oly fuck

  
**ANA** : hana be careful

  
**ANA** : he might want to have a showdown

  
**MCCREE** : i swear to every god in the world

  
**MCCREE** : why make fun of M E

  
**MCCREE** : ive done nothing but be nice to y'all

  
**MCCREE** : especially to the gremlin

  
**MCCREE** : im the cool uncle in this family

  
**MCCREE** : you should respect me

  
**D.VA** : i do tho

  
**D.VA** : i just show it differently

  
**D.VA** : i respect you so much that i fucking dressed up as you

  
**D.VA** : is that not dedication to showing my respect

  
**ANA** : true true

  
**ANA** : jesse we've said it countless times

  
**ANA** : we love you

  
**GENJI** : lmao we're like a giant idiotic family

  
**TRACER** : Tbh

  
**MCCREE** : aw shit

  
**MCCREE** : yall are right

  
**D.VA** : **_@MCCREE_** <3

  
**MCCREE** : <3

  
**HANZO** : Why are we all in the chatroom if this is supposed to be a party.

  
**MCCREE** : shhhh

  
**MCCREE** : its easier

  
**MCCREE** : im too drunk to talk without sluring anything tbh

  
**HANZO** : Already?

  
**MCCREE** : ya

  
**GENJI** : pfff light weight

  
**MCCREE** : h ow dare you

  
**MCCREE** : i can handle my liquor better than any of yall 

  
**MCCREE** : except rein

  
**REINHARDT** : lol i could drink you all under the table

  
**ANA** : ya

  
**ANA** : btw all your costumes are top notch

  
**D.VA** : i helped hanzo c:

  
**ANA** : looks cool af 

  
**HANZO** : Thank you.

  
**ANA** : fucking spooky

  
**ANA** : especially the contacts

  
**ANA** : honestly everyone looks great

  
**REINHARDT** : i like your pirate costume, ana

  
**ANA** : thank

  
**ANA** : i mean i already have a legit eye patch

  
**ANA** : so bam pirate

  
**ANA** : also almost forgot

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: @gay HOWDY Y'ALL I'M MCCREE THE GAYEST COWBOY THIS SIDE OF THE RIO GRANDE (D.VA)]**

 

 

 **D.VA:** awww yeah

 

 

**[WINSTON HAS ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **WINSTON** : **_@everyone_** ATTENTION! This chatroom has been compromised. Any unknown account entering may be the enemy. Please have caution.

  
**ANA** : gg

  
**MCCREE** : god damn

  
**D.VA** : let them come

  
**D.VA** : we'll just assault them with memes

  
**ANA** : ^

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 **  
S0MBRA** : HOLA PENDEJOS

  
**S0MBRA** : SOY AQUI

  
**S0MBRA** : H A

 

 **S0MBRA** : TO HELL WITH YOUR HALLOWEEN

 

 **S0MBRA** : DIA DE LOS MUERTOS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT BOIS

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> m Y GIRL IS HERE AND SHES WONDERFUL  
> and hijacking halloween  
> lmao im hoping for some info tomorrow blizzard pls
> 
> Anyway, Happy Halloween everyone!
> 
> of course hana would make fun of mccree like that  
> dude my costume this year was the cowboi  
> i was a walking meme and it was great
> 
> Get ready for some more memeing madness  
> chapter 11 will be up real soon, maybe tomorrow or the day after 
> 
> i need to be stopped with these copypastas
> 
> Translation notes: (feel free to correct me)  
> \- 삼촌 : uncle  
> \- 패자 삼촌 : loser uncle  
> \- HOLA PENDEJOS : HI ASSHOLES  
> \- SOY AQUI : I'M HERE  
> \- DIA DE LOS MUERTOS : DAY OF THE DEAD
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	11. hackerman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new memeship is born.
> 
> And finally, a major mission.

**[D.VA AND S0MBRA HAVE ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : YOU ASS YOU KILLED HALLOWEEN

  
**D.VA** : WE DIDNT HAVE THE COSTUME CONTEST CAUSE WE WERE ALL FREAKING OUT

  
**D.VA** : CAUSE OF YOU

  
**S0MBRA** : lol

  
**S0MBRA** : mi chica 

  
**S0MBRA** : relajarse por favor 

  
**D.VA** : i would have won ;;

  
**S0MBRA** : lol I hacked into the security cameras

  
**S0MBRA** : i think you looked great

  
**S0MBRA** : making fun of that loser cowboy

  
**S0MBRA** : genius niña 

  
**S0MBRA** : gg

  
**D.VA** : thank you!!

  
**S0MBRA** : de nada

  
**D.VA** : so

  
**D.VA** : are you like good

  
**D.VA** : are we gonna ever have to fight you

  
**D.VA** : cause now I kinda don't wanna

  
**S0MBRA** : i wont fight you if I don't have to

  
**S0MBRA** : just don't get in the way of my plans and we'll be good

  
**D.VA** : k

  
**D.VA** : what plans tho

  
**S0MBRA** : maybe ill tell you one day ;))

  
**S0MBRA** : if we get close enough

  
**D.VA** : lmao maybe dude

  
**D.VA** : i swear ive seen your name around before 

  
**S0MBRA** : ah

  
**S0MBRA** : it's a collective alias

  
**S0MBRA** : im not the only one

  
**D.VA** : I REMEMBER

  
**D.VA** : YOU WERE IN THE COMMENTS ON ONE OF MY STREAMS

  
**D.VA** : KEPT LEAVING COMMENTS IN SPANISH

  
**S0MBRA** : then the others were translating and saw it was flirting

  
**S0MBRA** : lo sé mi chica

  
**S0MBRA** : that was me

  
**S0MBRA** : ;)))

  
**D.VA** : s hit

  
**D.VA** : that's pretty gay

  
**S0MBRA** : from what I read above

  
**S0MBRA** : that's all of overwatch

  
**D.VA** : tbh

  
**D.VA** : dude you'd fit in

  
**S0MBRA** : maybe one day

  
**S0MBRA** : rn i gotta settle some stuff

  
**D.VA** : aight

  
**D.VA** : gl with that

  
**S0MBRA** : gracias <3

  
**D.VA** : np

  
**S0MBRA** : but dude really

  
**S0MBRA** : everyone's gay??

  
**D.VA** : umbrella term

  
**D.VA** : ik for sure cowboi, lena, satya, fareeha, mei, zarya, and dad are

  
**D.VA** : me too

  
**S0MBRA** : lol same

  
**S0MBRA** : sweet man

  
**S0MBRA** : you better represent

  
**D.VA** : i do

  
**D.VA** : and ill keep doing it <3

  
**S0MBRA** : <3

  
**D.VA** : i think this is the start of a beautiful new friendship

  
**S0MBRA** : memeship*

  
**D.VA** : m Y GOD

  
**D.VA** : id pin that but I'm not a mod so rip

  
**S0MBRA** : chica 

  
**S0MBRA** : yo puedo hacer lo 

  
**S0MBRA** : make you a mod I mean

  
**S0MBRA** : since i hacked into the chatroom

  
**S0MBRA** : i made myself a mod and made it impossible to kick anyone

  
**D.VA** : 이런 젠 장 

  
**D.VA** : you're so talented!!

  
**S0MBRA** : tu tambien Hana 

  
**S0MBRA** : you're amazing at games

  
**D.VA** : thank

  
**S0MBRA** : np

 

 

**[ANA AMARI AND JESSE MCCREE HAVE ENTERED maximum spook]**

 

 

 **ANA** : smh making friends with the enemy

  
**S0MBRA** : did you mean

  
**S0MBRA** : break bread with the enemy

  
**ANA** : nvmind you can stay friends with her

  
**MCCREE** : o shit

  
**MCCREE** : tu hables espanol tambien

  
**S0MBRA** : claro que si vaquero

  
**MCCREE** : gracias a dios

  
**MCCREE** : ninguno de ellos hablan espanol

  
**S0MBRA** : rip

  
**D.VA** : i know Spanish wtf uncool

  
**D.VA** : i know like 7 languages

  
**D.VA** : im fucking smart

  
**ANA** : dude i believe it

  
**S0MBRA** : what languages tho

  
**D.VA** : Korean, English, Spanish, Japanese, Chinese, Russian, and lúcio has been teaching me Portuguese

  
**D.VA** : I can't speak them all perfectly but I know the basics lmao

  
**ANA** : nice

  
**S0MBRA** : ^

  
**S0MBRA** : anyway

  
**S0MBRA** : DIO DE LOS MUERTOS BOIS

  
**S0MBRA** : i got my makeup done

  
**S0MBRA** : gotta visit the altar and celebrate tonight

  
**MCCREE** : you're Mexican too

  
**MCCREE** : nice

  
**S0MBRA** : ¿tu tambien?

  
**MCCREE** : half

  
**MCCREE** : de mi madre

  
**S0MBRA** : ah

  
**S0MBRA** : ¿van a celebrar?

  
**ANA** : like gabe used to?

  
**MCCREE** : i was going to do it for gabe honestly

  
**MCCREE** : but he's alive so no point in doing that

  
**S0MBRA** : what about your family tho

  
**MCCREE** : they're alive back home

  
**MCCREE** : don't want nothing to do with me though

  
**D.VA** : oh shit i didn't know that

  
**D.VA** : im sorry uncle

  
**MCCREE** : it's cool

  
**MCCREE** : ive got a family here now lmao

  
**S0MBRA** : gay

  
**ANA** : lol

  
**ANA** : but tbh im glad you think of us that way jesse

  
**ANA** : im the cool mom

  
**S0MBRA** : wait I thought she was the grandma

  
**D.VA** : grandma to me

  
**ANA** : mom to jesse and fareeha

  
**S0MBRA** : abuelita

  
**MCCREE** : lmao

  
**MCCREE** : i like this kid

  
**S0MBRA** : gracias

  
**MCCREE** : even tho you did hack in

  
**S0MBRA** : :^))

  
**S0MBRA** : an associate of mine wanted info on you guys so I thought "hey a chatroom they must use it for important shit"

  
**S0MBRA** : but nOOOO all you guys do is shitpost

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS RE-NAMED THE CHATROOM TO hackerman]**

 

 

 **ANA** : omfg

  
**ANA** : another classic

  
**ANA** : ive taught you children so well

  
**S0MBRA** : lol

  
**S0MBRA** : gg

  
**S0MBRA** : original and funny

  
**D.VA** : lmao

  
**S0MBRA** : yo btw just a heads up

  
**S0MBRA** : i hacked in your security system so i could get access to the security cameras

  
**S0MBRA** : wanted to see who's there and what everyone looks like

  
**D.VA** : and to take n00ds of us in the showers

  
**S0MBRA** : lol why didn't I think of that before

  
**S0MBRA** : jk jk

  
**S0MBRA** : but yeah i told hana before you all came here

  
**S0MBRA** : so i thought i would just tell the rest of you to be fair

  
**S0MBRA** : and now youre all waving at the cameras like idiots

  
**S0MBRA** : ustedes son tontos

  
**S0MBRA** : im only waving back at hana

 

 **D.VA** : <3

 

 **S0MBRA** : <3

  
**ANA** : wow not even a day

  
**ANA** : and already super gay

  
**ANA** : thats like a new record

  
**MCCREE** : wow

  
**ANA** : okay scratch that

  
**ANA** : jesse still holds that record

  
**MCCREE** : damn straight

  
**S0MBRA** : unlike you

  
**D.VA** : lmao

 

 

**[SOLDIER :76 HAS ENTERED hackerman]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : YO DAD

  
**D.VA** : welcome

  
**76** : Kid, why are you amking friends with a possible enemy?

  
**D.VA** : she already said she wouldnt fight me lmao

  
**D.VA** : she's great

  
**S0MBRA** : gracias <3

  
**D.VA** : yo that means you wouldnt fight my buddies either right

  
**S0MBRA** : probably

  
**S0MBRA** : for sure you 3 are cool

  
**S0MBRA** : that dude with his tit out too

  
**S0MBRA** : ¿el es tu novio, vaquero? 

  
**MCCREE** : claro chica

  
**S0MBRA** : dude nice

  
**MCCREE** : soy un hombre afortunado 

  
**D.VA** : lol

  
**76** : Anyway, we have a mission coming up.

  
**ANA** : shit who's going

  
**ANA** : and where

  
**76** : 6 man mission, Dorado. Me, you, Jesse, Hana, Hanzo, and Reinhardt.

  
**ANA** : NICE

  
**ANA** : THE LADS ARE GOING TO MEXICO

  
**S0MBRA** : :000

  
**S0MBRA** : yo i might see you guys

  
**D.VA** : Y E S

  
**S0MBRA** : just pls don't mess up my plans

  
**S0MBRA** : just avoid lumerico for a bit

  
**S0MBRA** : i dont wanna have to do anything to you guys

  
**76** : We'll just be there on recon.

  
**MCCREE** : undercover?

  
**76** : Nope. We'll just be scouting. Only a week.

  
**D.VA** : sombra maybe you could show me around during then

  
**S0MBRA** : por supesto, hermosa ;))) 

  
**MCCREE** : **_@HANZO @REINHARDT_**

 

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE ENTERED hackerman]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : heya han <3

  
**HANZO** : Hello, Jesse.

  
**HANZO** : <3

  
**S0MBRA** : gay

  
**MCCREE** : you did it too so shhh

  
**D.VA** : 삼촌

  
**D.VA** : we're all going to Mexico together for a mission!!

  
**REINHARDT** : i haven't been there in ages

  
**ANA** : same

  
**ANA** : it'll be cool

  
**ANA** : the lads back together

  
**REINHARDT** : Ana, jack

  
**REINHARDT** : just the 3 of us are going out one night

  
**D.VA** : pffff what are you going to do

  
**D.VA** : play bingo

  
**ANA** : we'll get fucking wasted

  
**ANA** : except for jack

  
**REINHARDT** : he's like our chaperone lol

  
**S0MBRA** : hana maybe one night we could go out?

  
**D.VA** : of course!!

  
**D.VA** : ive never been there before

  
**D.VA** : you can show me all the stuff we can do!

  
**S0MBRA** : ya definitely

  
**MCCREE** : darlin i could show you around too

  
**MCCREE** : I've been there a few times before

  
**HANZO** : I would enjoy that.

  
**MCCREE** : nice

  
**MCCREE** : itll be fun

  
**HANZO** : I'm sure it will be, Jesse.

  
**S0MBRA** : so when are you guys coming over here

  
**76** : We fly there tonight. Get there by morning.

  
**ANA** : o shit we gotta go pack

  
**ANA** : reinhardt do you still have our matching shirts?

  
**REINHARDT** : of course

  
**REINHARDT** : i hope you know we're wearing them when we all go out

  
**ANA** : ya definitely

  
**S0MBRA** : honestly excited

  
**D.VA** : same

  
**D.VA** : maybe we could stream together too while I'm there??

  
**S0MBRA** : SI MI CHICA

  
**D.VA** : NICE

  
**D.VA** : you pick the game

  
**S0MBRA** : thank

  
**76** : Alright everyone. Go get packing, we leave at 22:00.

  
**MCCREE** : kay

  
**MCCREE** : pumpkin, help me pick out clothes?

  
**HANZO** : Of course.

  
**D.VA** : ill ttyl sombra

  
**D.VA** : <3

  
**S0MBRA** : <3

  
**ANA** : l ater

  
**REINHARDT** : losers

 

 

**[D.VA, SOLDIER: 76, ANA AMARI, JESSE MCCREE, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE EXITED hackerman]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : oh yeah gotta make her mod

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS PROMOTED D.VA TO MODERATOR]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : y el viejo 

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ADDED REAPER TO hackerman]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idc that sombra isn't out yet  
> her and hana will be memeing girlfriends
> 
> and oOOO REYES IS HERE  
> next chapter will definitely have him in it!
> 
> Translation notes: (feel free to correct me)  
> \- mi chica : my girl  
> \- relajarse por favor : relax please  
> \- niña : girl  
> \- de nada : you're welcome  
> \- lo sé mi chica : i know my girl  
> \- gracias : thank you  
> \- yo puedo hacer lo : i can do it  
> \- 이런 젠 장 : holy shit  
> \- tu tambien : you too  
> \- tu hables espanol tambien : you speak Spanish too  
> \- claro que si vaquero : obviously/ of course cowboy  
> \- gracias a dios : thank god  
> \- ninguno de ellos hablan espanol : none of them speak Spanish  
> \- ¿tu tambien? : you too?  
> \- de mi madre : from my mother  
> \- ¿van a celebrar? : going to celebrate?  
> \- abuelita : granny  
> \- ustedes son tontos : you're all idiots  
> \- ¿el es tu novio, vaquero? : he's your boyfriend, cowboy?  
> \- soy un hombre afortunado : I'm a lucky man  
> \- por supesto, hermosa : of course, beautiful  
> \- 삼촌 : uncle  
> \- SI MI CHICA : YES MY GIRL  
> \- y el viejo : and the old man
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	12. Shenanigans with Genji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji and the lads raid Hanzo's room.
> 
> Sombra starts shit.  
> Fareeha knows how to meme.  
> And Ana tries to annoy a certain sniper.

**[ZENYATTA, GENJI SHIMADA, AND LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS HAVE ENTERED hackerman]**

 

 **GENJI** : so they all just left on their mission

 

 **GENJI** : guys

 

 **GENJI** : it's up to us to keep things interesting around here 

 

 **LÚCIO** : dude we could totally do that

 

 **LÚCIO** : we can make nana proud

 

 **GENJI** : i already know she's proud of me

 

 **GENJI** : you two have to do something memeworthy to make her proud 

 

 **LÚCIO** : zen we can do this 

 

 **LÚCIO** : i believe in us

 

 **ZENYATTA** : My friend, we are very capable of accomplishing this.

 

 **GENJI** : definitely master 

 

 **GENJI** : gl both of you

 

 **LÚCIO** : thanks!! <3

 

 **ZENYATTA** : Thank you, Genji.

 

 **GENJI** : np <3

 

 

**[TRACER HAS ENTERED hackerman]**

 

**TRACER** : You guys are so cute!! :D

 

 **GENJI** : shhh 

 

 **GENJI** : im just supporting my bois 

 

 **GENJI** : my lads

 

 **GENJI** : buddies 

 

 **GENJI** : friendos

 

 **TRACER** : You said lads :D

 

 **TRACER** : Now I'm proud.

 

 **GENJI** : bless

 

 **LÚCIO** : #blessed

 

 **ZENYATTA** : Blessed.

 

 **GENJI** : omfg master

 

 **GENJI** : you're precious 

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: Blessed. (ZENYATTA)]**

 

**TRACER** : lol

 

 **TRACER** : So what's the plan for tonight lads? :o

 

 **GENJI** : actually ive got an idea

 

 **GENJI** : for all four of us

 

 **LÚCIO** : what are we gonna do??

 

 **ZENYATTA** : I believe you discussed "raiding" Hanzo's room.

 

 **GENJI** : yes precisely

 

 **GENJI** : it's a perfect plan

 

 **LÚCIO** : but like

 

 **LÚCIO** : doesn't every room have a passcode to get in

 

 **LÚCIO** : and require a fingerprint 

 

 **TRACER** : Yeah :(

 

 **GENJI** : don't you worry 

 

 **GENJI** : **_@S0MBRA_**

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ENTERED hackerman]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : que chico 

 

 **GENJI** : can you hack into hanzos room so I can get some dirt on him

 

 **LÚCIO** : lmao

 

 **S0MBRA** : say no more fam

 

 **S0MBRA** : boop 

 

 **S0MBRA** : you're all good

 

 **TRACER** : Thanks!! :D

 

 **S0MBRA** : de nada

 

 **ZENYATTA** : Genji, is it not rude to do this?

 

 **GENJI** : it is

 

 **GENJI** : but master he's my brother 

 

 **GENJI** : being like this is good for our relationship

 

 **LÚCIO** : it's not like he'll try and kill you again lol

 

 **GENJI** : exactly 

 

 **TRACER** : Yeah, Hanzo wouldn't do that :D

 

 **S0MBRA** : i mean if you're annoying now

 

 **S0MBRA** : you were probably worse before 

 

 **S0MBRA** : and bam that's why he killed you 

 

 **GENJI** : don't blame him tbh

 

 **GENJI** : like I said before i was a little shit

 

 **GENJI** : only thing im mad about

 

 **GENJI** : rip my cute face

 

 **GENJI** : everyone fucking loved me

 

 **LÚCIO** : we still do tho lmao

 

 **ZENYATTA** : Everyone comes in different ways. We know to appreciate someone no matter what.

 

 **S0MBRA** : gay

 

 **GENJI** : you keep gushing over hana so shhh

 

 **S0MBRA** : porque ella es un chica muy hermosa y increíble

 

 **GENJI** : w0w

 

 **GENJI** : and we're the gay ones

 

 **S0MBRA** : todos son los mismos lol 

 

 **LÚCIO** : lmao

 

 **TRACER** : :D

 

 **GENJI** : aight so guys meet me in front of hanzo's door

 

 **GENJI** : we go in together 

 

 **ZENYATTA** : Alright.

 

 **S0MBRA** : you better keep me updated

 

 **S0MBRA** : i could use this info

 

 **GENJI** : lmao k

 

 

**[TRACER, ZENYATTA, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE GONE IDLE]**

 

**S0MBRA** : shit are they in for a surprise 

 

 

-

 

 

**[MERCY, PHARAH, ZARYA, AND MEI-LING SZHOU HAVE ENTERED hackerman]**

 

**MEI** : Hey, guys!!  ( ◠‿◠ )

 

 **MERCY** : Hello :)

 

 **PHARAH** : It’s so quiet around here without the others.

 

 **ZARYA** : Yes

 

 **MEI** : I hope things are going well for them!  (⌒▽⌒)

 

 **MERCY** : As do I.

 

 **PHARAH** : My mother told me it should be a fairly easy mission.

 

 **MERCY** : Yes, only recon. I trust that they will come back safe and unharmed.

 

 **MEI** : Exactly. ( ◠‿◠ )

 

 **ZARYA** : The 4 of us should do something together while they’re gone.

 

 **MERCY** : That sounds like fun :)

 

 **PHARAH** : Like a double date?

 

 **ZARYA** : Date?

 

 **MERCY** : Oh my.

 

 **MEI** : Whoops, looks like I have some work to do!

 

 **MERCY** : Mei, we all know that is a lie.

 

 **MEI** : Alright!! I haven’t gotten to ask her out yet…

 

 **ZARYA** : You want to ask me out?

 

 **MEI** : Maybe…

 

 **PHARAH** : meibe*

 

 **MERCY** : Reinhardt would be proud.

 

 

**[MERCY HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: meibe* (PHARAH)]**

 

**MEI** : Guys!! ;;

 

 **PHARAH** : Mei, she knows now. Just ask her.

 

 **ZARYA** : I would be happy to go on a date with her.

 

 **MEI** : Would you like to go out tonight? To dinner at 20:00?

 

 **ZARYA** : I would be happy to.

 

 **MERCY** : Good for you two!!

 

 **PHARAH** : Finally upfront about it.

 

 **PHARAH** : gg

 

 **MERCY** : You really are becoming like your mother.

 

 **PHARAH** : The constant memeing is spreading like a plague.

 

 **PHARAH** : Angie please cure us all.

 

 **MERCY** : Most of you are a lost cause already. The memeing has taken over.

 

 **MEI** : ;;

 

 **PHARAH** : lol

 

 **S0MBRA** : dios

 

 **S0MBRA** : it really is just gayness and memes

 

 **MERCY** : When did you get here?

 

 **S0MBRA** : ive been here lmao

 

 **S0MBRA** : waiting for the others to get back

 

 **S0MBRA** : and waiting to meet up with hana so we can go out

 

 **MEI** : Guys, should we go get ready for later??

 

 **ZARYA** : That is what I am going to do.

 

 **MERCY** : I believe that would be beneficial to us all.

 

 **PHARAH** : It’s still going to be a double date?

 

 **MEI** : If you all want to, I would be fine with it! ( ◠‿◠ )

 

 **ZARYA** : That would be enjoyable.

 

 **MERCY** : Yes, let’s do it.

 

 **MERCY** : Everyone meet around 19:30 to leave?

 

 **PHARAH** : Sounds good, Angie.

 

 **ZARYA** : Я буду смотреть вперед к нему. 

 

 **MEI** : I’ll see you all soon!!

 

 **MEI** : **_@ZARYA_** <3

 

 **ZARYA** : **_@MEI_ ** <3

 

 

**[MERCY, PHARAH, ZARYA, AND MEI-LING ZHOU HAVE EXITED hackerman]**

 

**S0MBRA** : and i thought i was gay lmao

 

 

**[TRACER, ZENYATTA, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED hackerman]**

 

**S0MBRA** : CHICO

 

 **S0MBRA** : DIME TODO POR FAVOR

 

 **GENJI** : holy shit man

 

 **GENJI** : holy shit

 

 **GENJI** : i cant believe my brother is a fucking furry

 

 **TRACER** : lol

 

 **LÚCIO** : dude

 

 **LÚCIO** : im fucking dying

 

 **LÚCIO** : are we gonna expose him

 

 **S0MBRA** : if you don’t I will

 

 **GENJI** : i mean

 

 **GENJI** : didnt we just kinda expose him tho

 

 **TRACER** : :o We did!

 

 **ZENYATTA** : My friends, everyone is different.

 

 **GENJI** : ya true

 

 **GENJI** : I mean look at all of us

 

 **LÚCIO** : yeah

 

 **ZENYATTA** : We should not judge.

 

 **ZENYATTA** : Even though I have never known anyone quite like this.

 

 **GENJI** : master

 

 **GENJI** : im so sorry I dragged you through that hell.

 

 **GENJI** : actually im sorry to all of you

 

 **TRACER** : :(

 

 **TRACER** : It’s okay though!!

 

 **LÚCIO** : yeah

 

 **LÚCIO** : id rather us all go through that than just you on your own

 

 **GENJI** : thank you

 

 **S0MBRA** : lol

 

 **S0MBRA** : _**@gay** _ ATTENTION: HANZO SHIMADA IS A FUCKING FURRY

 

 **GENJI** : i am not liable if he murders you

 

 **S0MBRA** : k

 

 **ZENYATTA** : There will be no murders.

 

 **LÚCIO** : lol I hope

 

 **S0MBRA** : speaking of murder

 

 **S0MBRA** : gotta do something real quick

 

 **S0MBRA** : don’t worry im not gonna kill anyone

 

 **GENJI** : lol good

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ADDED WIDOWMAKER TO hackerman]**

 

**[WIDOWMAKER HAD ENTERED hackerman]**

 

**WIDOWMAKER** : Merci, Sombra.

 

 **S0MBRA** : de nada

 

 **TRACER** : :o

 

 **TRACER** : It’s you!!

 

 **TRACER** : The one who killed Mondatta!

 

 **S0MBRA** : meirda 

 

 **S0MBRA** : you two know each other?

 

 **TRACER** : She was there at Kings Row

 

 **TRACER** : And she killed him.

 

 **ZENYATTA** : It saddens me deeply that Mondatta is no longer with us, but do not do anything irrational, Lena.

 

 **TRACER** : I’ll try not to.

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : I am not here to cause anything. Sombra simply thought this would be easier than reporting to me after any interaction she has here.

 

 **S0MBRA** : don’t worry ill kick her if she starts anything

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : Excuse me?

 

 **S0MBRA** : relajarse

 

 **S0MBRA** : just be nice and itll all be good

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : Did you already add Reaper here?

 

 **S0MBRA** : jaja

 

 **S0MBRA** : he hasn’t talked tho

 

 **TRACER** : Reyes is here too??

 

 **LÚCIO** : sombra why :(

 

 **S0MBRA** : theyre just associates don’t worry

 

 **S0MBRA** : sorry my dudes just gotta do this for work

 

 

**[D.VA HAS ENTERED hackerman]**

 

**D.VA** : the blue lady is here now??

 

 **GENJI** : yeah

 

 **D.VA** : we could just scare her away with memes

 

 **LÚCIO** : wasn’t that the plan with sombra tho?

 

 **D.VA** : shhh itll work this time

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS ENTERED hackerman]**

 

**ANA** : lol she’s the one that shot my eye out

 

 **ANA** : _ **@WIDOWMAKER**_ Yo listen up here's a story  
About a little guy that lives in a blue world  
And all day and all night and everything he sees Is just blue  
Like him inside and outside  
Blue his house with a blue little window  
And a blue Corvette  
And everything is blue for him  
And himself and everybody around  
'Cause he ain't got nobody to listen

I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa  
Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa  
Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa

I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa  
Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa  
Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa

I have a blue house with a blue window  
Blue is the color of all that I wear  
Blue are the streets and all the trees are too  
I have a girlfriend and she is so blue  
Blue are the people here that walk around  
Blue like my Corvette, it's in and outside  
Blue are the words I say and what I think  
Blue are the feelings that live inside me

I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa  
Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa  
Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa

I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa  
Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa  
Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa

Inside and outside  
Blue his house with a blue little window  
And a blue Corvette  
And everything is blue for him and himself  
And everybody around  
'Cause he ain't got nobody to listen

I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa  
Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa  
Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa

I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa  
Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa  
Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa

 

 **D.VA** : omfg

 

 **S0MBRA** : gg abuelita 

 

 **GENJI** : please tell me it worked

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : Pff, do you really think you’re the first one to try that on me?

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : I am here to stay.

 

 **TRACER** : :(

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : I should be the sad one, having to deal with you imbeciles now.

 

 **GENJI** : yup you and hanzo will definitely get along

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : The archer?

 

 **D.VA** : lmao true

 

 **D.VA** : anyway

 

 **D.VA** : **_@S0MBRA_** im here where you said we’d meet

 

 **S0MBRA** : ya I see you

 

 **S0MBRA** : look behind you lol

 

 **S0MBRA** : estoy la chica con pelo morado 

 

 **D.VA** : H OLY SHIT YOU’RE SO PRETTY

 

 **D.VA** : FUCC MAN

 

 **D.VA** : LATER LOSERS, I GOT A DATE WITH A GORGEOUS HACKER

 

 **S0MBRA** : lol adios pendejos 

 

 

**[D.VA AND SOMBRA HAVE EXITED hackerman]**

 

**WIDOWMAKER** : I will be taking my leave as well.

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : Au revoir. 

 

 **ANA** : lmao same

 

 **ANA** : gonna spy on hana and sombra

 

 **ANA** : later losers

 

 

**[WIDOWMAKER AND ANA AMARI HAVE EXITED hackerman]**

 

**GENJI** : well

 

 **GENJI** : im still disgusted with my brother

 

 **ZENTYATTA** : Shall we all do a fun activity together?

 

 **LÚCIO** : why don’t we all watch a movie together?

 

 **TRACER** : :o

 

 **TRACER** : I actually found an old one the other day!

 

 **GENJI** : what is it??

 

 **TRACER** : It’s a trilogy for Star Wars. Episodes 4-6.

 

 **GENJI** : DUDE

 

 **GENJI** : I FUCKING LOVE STAR WARS

 

 **GENJI** : ALL OF YOU REC ROOM RN

 

 **GENJI** : WE’RE WATCHING THEM ALL TONIGHT

 

 **TRACER** : Okay! :D

 

 **LÚCIO** : k nice

 

 **ZENYATTA** : I will see you all there.

 

 

**[TRACER, ZENYATTA, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE EXITED hackerman]**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, with the release of Sombra I've seen people straying away from Hana/Sombra because of the age gap. lmao Hana is an adult capable of deciding her partners. People should really start treating her like an adult. 
> 
> i mean people ship genyatta which has a 15 year age gap  
> 11 years is a kinda big gap, but again they're both legal adults. And honestly with their personalities, i really like the dynamic of them being together. Just memeing, joking gilrfriends who love each other.
> 
> aside from this, about this chapter  
> Hanzo Shimada is a fucking furry. You can't tell me he isn't. h is legendaries man  
> I hate them with a passion.  
> nothing wrong with furries tho, like whatever you want idc
> 
> and Ana spamming song lyrics  
> she would  
> everyone would bother widow with Blue by Eiffel 65  
> it's perfect. 
> 
> Translation Notes: (feel free to correct me)  
> \- que chico : what boy  
> \- de nada : you're welcome  
> \- porque ella es un chica muy hermosa y increíble : because she's a girl who's very beautiful and amazing  
> \- todos son los mismos lol : we’re all the same  
> \- Я буду смотреть вперед к нему. : I will be looking forward to it.  
> \- DIME TODO POR FAVOR : TELL ME EVERYTHING PLEASE  
> \- Merci : Thank you  
> \- meirda : shit  
> \- relajarse : relax  
> \- abuelita : granny  
> \- estoy la chica con pelo morado : I’m the girl with purple hair  
> \- adios pendejos : bye assholes  
> \- Au revoir. : Good bye.
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	13. Overwatch Family Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sombra attempts to make a family tree based on what she knows in the chatroom.
> 
> She and McCree also join forces to piss people off.

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS ENTERED hackerman]**

 

 **  
**  
**MCCREE** : wow im finally here and absolutely fucking no one is here

  
**MCCREE** : hana and hanzo are out scouting

  
**MCCREE** : ana rein and jack are out

  
**MCCREE** : a nd the fucking rest of y’all aren’t here

  
**MCCREE** : watching fucking star wars without me genji 

  
**MCCREE** : god damnit

 

  
  
**[S0MBRA HAS ENTERED hackerman]**

 

  
  
**S0MBRA** : hola vaquero 

  
**S0MBRA** : lmao its just us two here rip

  
**MCCREE** : and now i have to deal with the other gremlin great

  
**S0MBRA** : h ey im a delight compared to hana

  
**S0MBRA** : ill actually be nice to you hermano 

  
**MCCREE** : w h

  
**MCCREE** : i aint your brother kid

  
**S0MBRA** : ive been working out the family tree tho

  
**S0MBRA** : hold up ill send

  
**MCCREE** : k

  
**S0MBRA** : its still a work in progress so bear with me por favor 

 

 **S0MBRA** : [family-tree.jpeg](https://www.dropbox.com/s/nprm7qh0jsp1plp/Untitled-1.jpg?dl=0)

 

 **MCCREE** : oh my god

  
**MCCREE** : kay that’s pretty accurate

  
**MCCREE** : but how the fuck do you know all this

  
**MCCREE** : you only joined here like a few days ago

  
**S0MBRA** : b oi

  
**S0MBRA** : im a hacker

  
**S0MBRA** : es lo que hago 

  
**MCCREE** : shit

  
**MCCREE** : keep forgetting

  
**S0MBRA** : for instance

  
**S0MBRA** : i hacked into the security cameras of your safe house

  
**MCCREE** : so you can see what im doing rn

  
**S0MBRA** : si

  
**S0MBRA** : im crying man

  
**S0MBRA** : how do you fuck up making a box of mac and cheese

  
**MCCREE** : SHHH

  
**MCCREE** : i did not

  
**S0MBRA** : vaquero

  
**S0MBRA** : if you don’t admit that you did ill send old pictures i found of you

  
**S0MBRA** : baby pictures

  
**MCCREE** : f ine

  
**MCCREE** : i did fuck up the box of mac and cheese

  
**MCCREE** : are you happy

  
**S0MBRA** : jajaja

  
**S0MBRA** : lol id come over with food but im lazy

  
**MCCREE** : gee thanks sis

  
**S0MBRA** : yw

  
**S0MBRA** : why don’t we have some sibling bonding

  
**MCCREE** : how tho

  
**S0MBRA** : pissing off padre

  
**MCCREE** : go ahead get him in here

  
**MCCREE** : I’ve got some shit to say to him

  
**S0MBRA** : relajase por favor 

  
**S0MBRA** : itll all be good yo

  
**MCCREE** : just get him here kid

  
**S0MBRA** : lol k

  
**S0MBRA** : **_@REAPER_** Y O PADRE COME HERE FOR FUNTIMES WITH THE COWBOI

  
**MCCREE** : that’s your plan

  
**S0MBRA** : ya trust me bro

  
**S0MBRA** : it’ll work

 

  
  
**[REAPER HAS ENTERED hackerman]**

 

 **  
**  
**S0MBRA** : BOOM TOLD YOU

  
**REAPER** : **Sombra, for the last time. Leave me out of your petty arguments.**

  
**REAPER** : **And I’m not your dad.**

  
**S0MBRA** : lol

  
**MCCREE** : reyes you sack of shit

  
**MCCREE** : fucking flying edgy bag

  
**MCCREE** : wtf man

  
**MCCREE** : after all that you’ve been through with us

  
**MCCREE** : going with the enemy

  
**MCCREE** : real fucking nice

  
**S0MBRA** : rip

  
**REAPER** : **Jesse, you don’t know all the details. Don’t act like you do.**

  
**MCCREE** : w h

  
**MCCREE** : yknow what

  
**MCCREE** : im not gonna get mad over all this shit

  
**MCCREE** : howdy reyes and welcome back to the chatroom

  
**MCCREE** : enjoy our shitposts and memeing

  
**S0MBRA** : ^

  
**REAPER** : **Sombra, what the hell is that family tree.**

  
**S0MBRA** : is it not accurate tho

  
**S0MBRA** : cowboi said it is

  
**MCCREE** : yeah it is

  
**MCCREE** : fucking reyes and morrison

  
**S0MBRA** : dont you mean reyes and moreison were fucking

 

 

**[REAPER HAS EXITED hackerman]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : we did it hermano

  
**S0MBRA** : gg

  
**MCCREE** : not you too

  
**MCCREE** : with the gg

  
**MCCREE** : lord have mercy on me

  
**S0MBRA** : blame Hana

  
**MCCREE** : she's the whole reason this chatroom came back to life

  
**MCCREE** : that damn gremlin

  
**S0MBRA** : but without that chatroom coming back a ton of stuff wouldn't have happened

  
**S0MBRA** : like everyone making bets on when hanzo went to your room

  
**MCCREE** : holy hell you read that far back?

  
**S0MBRA** : ya

  
**S0MBRA** : I've read it all since the revive

  
**S0MBRA** : pretty interesting

  
**S0MBRA** : the chatroom names my god

  
**S0MBRA** : jesse mccree is fucking gay

  
**MCCREE** : it's true

  
**MCCREE** : no doubt about it

  
**MCCREE** : im a god damn gay cowboy

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: im a god damn gay cowboy (JESSE MCCREE)]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : lol

  
**S0MBRA** : i feel like we only glimpsed over something very important

  
**MCCREE** : what hermana 

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS CHANGED THE CHAT NAME TO hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

 

 **MCCREE** : my god

  
**MCCREE** : he's gonna be pissed

  
**S0MBRA** : lmao ik

  
**S0MBRA** : isn't he out scouting with hana?

  
**MCCREE** : yep

  
**MCCREE** : they should be heading back soon

  
**MCCREE** : idk about the others tho

  
**MCCREE** : the elderly are out partying

  
**S0MBRA** : get wasted

  
**MCCREE** : except morrison

  
**MCCREE** : he'll be like their babysitter

  
**S0MBRA** : making sure they eat something before they drink

  
**S0MBRA** : what a dad

  
**MCCREE** : why hana calls him that

  
**S0MBRA** : si

  
**S0MBRA** : just like on my family tree lol

  
**S0MBRA** : but dude our special people are out on a mission together

  
**S0MBRA** : they bond while we bond

  
**MCCREE** : wait are you two legit now

  
**S0MBRA** : no se 

  
**S0MBRA** : maybe??

  
**S0MBRA** : i gotta ask

  
**MCCREE** : _**@D.VA**_

  
**S0MBRA** : why

  
**MCCREE** : payback

 

 

**[D.VA AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : mierda 

  
**D.VA** : 오, 이런 

  
**D.VA** : the chat name

  
**HANZO** : What does this mean.

  
**HANZO** : And why.

  
**HANZO** : Who did this.

  
**MCCREE** : Sombra

  
**HANZO** : Jesse, you're a mod. Change it.

  
**HANZO** : Please.

  
**MCCREE** : sure thing pumpkin

  
**MCCREE** : don't know why I didn't think of that before

  
**S0MBRA** : boop

  
**D.VA** : sombra!!

  
**D.VA** : i missed you <3

  
**S0MBRA** : same

  
**S0MBRA** : hana

  
**S0MBRA** : mi amor 

  
**S0MBRA** : i gotta ask you something

  
**MCCREE** : sombra you shit

  
**MCCREE** : why can't I change the chat name

  
**HANZO** : Sombra why.

  
**S0MBRA** : lol

  
**S0MBRA** : ill just keep it like this for a little bit

  
**D.VA** : pls

  
**D.VA** : imagine how genji and nana will react

  
**S0MBRA** : im keeping it till they get here then lmao

  
**HANZO** : Overwatch was a mistake.

  
**MCCREE** : aw cmon han it's not that bad

  
**MCCREE** : you got me here <3

  
**HANZO** : The only acceptable part.

  
**HANZO** : <3

  
**S0MBRA** : gay

  
**D.VA** : ^

  
**HANZO** : You're ones to talk.

  
**HANZO** : Aren't you both dating now.

  
**S0MBRA** : maybe

  
**S0MBRA** : are we?

  
**D.VA** : idk

  
**D.VA** : i mean i want to

  
**D.VA** : but how would it work??

  
**S0MBRA** : lol idk

  
**S0MBRA** : we could make it work tho hana

  
**S0MBRA** : if you want to try by my side?

  
**D.VA** : y ES PLEASE

  
**D.VA** : 이런 젠 장 

  
**D.VA** : I HAVE A WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL HACKER GIRLFRIEND!!

  
**S0MBRA** : :' )

  
**S0MBRA** : i have a sweet gamer girlfriend

  
**MCCREE** : s WEET

  
**MCCREE** : okay sure

  
**D.VA** : uncle shhhh

  
**D.VA** : im plenty nice

  
**HANZO** : I have not heard a bigger lie from any member of Overwatch.

  
**MCCREE** : ^^^

  
**S0MBRA** : she's just like that with you guys

  
**S0MBRA** : and we bond over being asses to everyone

  
**S0MBRA** : it's how we show affection

  
**D.VA** : e x a c t l y

  
**D.VA** : so anyway

  
**D.VA** : sombra once I'm back at the safe house you want to come and visit

  
**D.VA** : maybe stream??

  
**S0MBRA** : YES

  
**S0MBRA** : but I have a request

  
**D.VA** : shoot babe

  
**D.VA** : ew i just sounded like mccree

  
**MCCREE** : wow

  
**D.VA** : hey

  
**D.VA** : hanzo fucking laughed at that

  
**D.VA** : legit laugh

  
**D.VA** : out loud

  
**MCCREE** : aaaaAAAAAA GOD I WISH I WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT

  
**HANZO** : Hana stop it.

  
**D.VA** : c:

  
**D.VA** : anyway what do you want to do sombra?

  
**S0MBRA** : ill bring an emulator I have

  
**S0MBRA** : melee bois 

  
**D.VA** : hOLY SHIT

  
**D.VA** : let's do it

  
**S0MBRA** : 2 v 2

  
**S0MBRA** : you and me against the gay uncles

  
**MCCREE** : sweet jesus

  
**MCCREE** : darlin we're gonna get our asses handed to us

  
**HANZO** : You speak for yourself.

  
**HANZO** : I am quite skilled at that game. Genji and I would spend nights playing retro games.

  
**D.VA** : 삼촌 

  
**D.VA** : you should have told me

  
**HANZO** : We can spend one night playing once we get back to the base.

  
**HANZO** : With Genji too.

  
**MCCREE** : well that seems awful nice

  
**MCCREE** : ill be your moral support sweetheart

  
**HANZO** : Thank you.

  
**S0MBRA** : are you guys almost done scouting

  
**S0MBRA** : so I know to start heading that way lmao

  
**D.VA** : you can start heading to the safe house!! we'll be there in like 10 minutes

  
**HANZO** : Jesse, did you have dinner?

  
**S0MBRA** : he tried making a box of mac and cheese and fucked it up

 

 **MCCREE** : SHUT IT

 

 **D.VA** : o MFG

  
**D.VA** : same mccree

  
**HANZO** : I will make us all something.

  
**S0MBRA** : :00 could you make me some too pls

  
**HANZO** : Fine.

  
**S0MBRA** : gracias 

  
**D.VA** : so me and uncle will brb

  
**D.VA** : gonna head there rn 

  
**S0MBRA** : same

  
**MCCREE** : ill see y'all in a bit then

  
**MCCREE** : love ya han <3

  
**HANZO** : I love you too.

  
**HANZO** : <3

  
**D.VA** : gay

  
**S0MBRA** : gay

 

 

**[D.VA, S0MBRA, JESSE MCCREE, AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE EXITED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS ENTERED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

 

 

 **GENJI:** gg whoever changed the chat name

  
**GENJI** : he has like these wolf things in the closet

  
**GENJI** : idk im assuming they're like fur suits

  
**GENJI** : but it's just the heads??

  
**GENJI** : either way absolutely disgusting

  
**GENJI** : and a fucking hoodie that says yiff

  
**GENJI** : just why hanzo

  
**GENJI** : ugh no one here

  
**GENJI** : ill just go back to the movies lol later losers

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS EXITED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mccree mcfucking up a box of mac and cheese  
> based on real events of me doing the same :^))
> 
> i also really like the whole mccree and sombra being reyes' shitty kids  
> don't you worry, he and widow will be included way more soon
> 
> and sombra and hana are girlfriends who love each other and memeing
> 
> lmao also the family tree  
> it's a mess ik  
> i tried 
> 
> EDIT:  
> i forgot roadhog on the family tree like an idiot lmao  
> ill fix it once I get access to my computer again  
> Translation notes: (feel free to correct me)  
> \- hola vaquero : hi cowboy  
> \- hermano : bro/ brother  
> \- por favor : please  
> \- es lo que hago : it's what I do  
> \- si : yes  
> \- padre : father  
> \- relajase por favor : please relax  
> \- hermana : sis/ sister  
> \- no se : i don't know  
> \- mierda : shit  
> \- 오, 이런 : oh my god  
> \- mi amor : my love  
> \- 이런 젠 장 : holy shit  
> \- 삼촌 : uncle  
> \- gracias : thank you
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	14. Hanzo is a Furry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji will never let Hanzo forget that he's a furry.
> 
> And Ana and Co. go bar hopping.

**[D.VA, S0MBRA, JESSE MCCREE, AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : gET REKT UNCLES

 

 **S0MBRA** : lol

 

 **S0MBRA** : you guys sucked 

 

 **D.VA** : hanzo was good

 

 **D.VA** : mccree fucking s UCKED

 

 **MCCREE** : shut it

 

 **MCCREE** : i don't have time to play games all the time like y'all 

 

 **D.VA** : i mean hanzo doesn't play all the time 

 

 **S0MBRA** : but he's still a billion times better than you vaquero 

 

 **HANZO** : Thank you.

 

 **S0MBRA** : np

 

 **D.VA** : sombra!! everyone in the stream loves you 

 

 **S0MBRA** : claro que si 

 

 **S0MBRA** : im wonderful

 

 **S0MBRA** : aND great at games

 

 **S0MBRA** : the whole package 

 

 **D.VA** : <3

 

 **S0MBRA** : <3

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS ENTERED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : of course hanzo played fox

 

 **GENJI** : furry 

 

 **GENJI** : hanzo do you want to yiff mccree 

 

 **MCCREE** : the fucks a yiff 

 

 **GENJI** : HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF TODAY

 

 **GENJI** : JESSE THANK YOU FOR CONSISTENTLY BEING AN IDIOT

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: the fucks a yiff (JESSE MCCREE)]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : do you like not think before you type

 

 **MCCREE** : how do I not catch it holy shit

 

 **S0MBRA** : gg

 

 **MCCREE** : STOP

 

 **GENJI** : gg

 

 **MCCREE** : genji you're not my best friend anymore

 

 **GENJI** : sure jesse 

 

 **GENJI** : and water isn't necessary to live 

 

 **GENJI** : i mean not for me

 

 **GENJI** : i cant fucking drink or eat

 

 **D.VA** : gg hanzo 

 

 **MCCREE** : next gg I hear im throwing myself of a cliff

 

 **GENJI** : don't do it

 

 **GENJI** : then hanzo has no one to yiff with

 

 **HANZO** : Stop. 

 

 **GENJI** : why the fuck are there fur suits in your closet

 

 **D.VA** : W H A T

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS ENTERED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

 

 

 **ANA** : lmao i might be drunk 

 

 **ANA** : jack keeps bitching at me to have like a slice of bread 

 

 **ANA** : lol like ill do that

 

 **GENJI** : ANA

 

 **ANA** : what up ninja boi

 

 **GENJI** : read above 

 

 **ANA** : k hold on I don't want to read and walk

 

 **ANA** : we're bar hopping rn

 

 **ANA** : aight got reinhardt to carry me let's do this

 

 **D.VA** : aww the oldies are so nice to each other 

 

 **S0MBRA** : i gotta figure out what's going on between them

 

 **MCCREE** : hackerman 

 

 **ANA** : jesse is that the only meme you know

 

 **MCCREE** : you wound me ma'am 

 

 **ANA** : lol

 

 **ANA** : _ **@S0MBRA** _ that chart is top notch kid

 

 **ANA** : gg

 

 **MCCREE** : welp time to go die

 

 **MCCREE** : i hate y'all 

 

 **HANZO** : You do not.

 

 **MCCREE** : true 

 

 **ANA** : finally someone questioning me and reinhardt 

 

 **ANA** : seriously 

 

 **ANA** : no one has ever been suspicious of us being together ever

 

 **S0MBRA** : por la mierda 

 

 **S0MBRA** : you have to be joking

 

 **ANA** : no jokes

 

 **ANA** : no japes

 

 **ANA** : literally no one has said shit about us

 

 **MCCREE** : wow

 

 **GENJI** : ^

 

 **D.VA** : but grandma are you two together??

 

 **ANA** : maybe 

 

 **S0MBRA** : o shit

 

 **ANA** : lmao ya we are

 

 **ANA** : were super casual about it all tho

 

 **ANA** : he's a big sweetie and I love him

 

 **D.VA** : old people that love each other 

 

 **D.VA** : this is too fucking cute 

 

 **D.VA** : 이런 젠 장 

 

 **MCCREE** : well good for y'all 

 

 **MCCREE** : glad you could make it work through all these years

 

 **ANA** : thank 

 

 **ANA** : don't tell anyone else tho

 

 **HANZO** : You just said it in the chatroom. Everyone in Overwatch uses it.

 

 **GENJI** : and people in fucking talon

 

 **S0MBRA** : :^) whoops 

 

 **ANA** : shit

 

 **ANA** : whatever 

 

 **ANA** : i love Reinhardt 

 

 **ANA** : bam I said it 

 

 **ANA** : _**@gay**_

 

 **S0MBRA** : no shame 

 

 **S0MBRA** : gg

 

 **MCCREE** : w h y

 

 **HANZO** : Please don't make him go crazy.

 

 **GENJI** : he already is cause he's dating a f ucking furry

 

 **D.VA** : why are you even calling him a furry tho

 

 **ANA** : ^

 

 **D.VA** : oh wait is it that hoodie that says yiff

 

 **GENJI** : how the fuck do you know about it

 

 **D.VA** : cause I'm the one who gave it to him

 

 **D.VA** : 바보 

 

 **S0MBRA** : nice one babe

 

 **D.VA** : thank 

 

 **GENJI** : wow you're right I am an idiot

 

 **MCCREE** : ive been telling you for years genji

 

 **MCCREE** : and now you listen when the gremlin tells you

 

 **MCCREE** : im hurt

 

 **GENJI** : suck it up ゲイのカウボーイ 

 

 **HANZO** : Stop acting like children.

 

 **ANA** : all of you are like children

 

 **ANA** : except hanzo 

 

 **GENJI** : the furry*

 

 **D.VA** : but i already told you the jacket was from me

 

 **S0MBRA** : he said fursuits

 

 **S0MBRA** : you have to be joking

 

 **MCCREE** : ^

 

 **GENJI** : it's like the heads 

 

 **GENJI** : it's wolf fursuit heads

 

 **HANZO** : I am not a furry.

 

 **GENJI** :  ** _[IMG_0948]_**

 

 **GENJI** : say that again 

 

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 

 **ANA** : pissing 

 

 **D.VA** : as much as i love making fun of you guys

 

 **D.VA** : that's not a fursuit 

 

 **S0MBRA** : ^

 

 **GENJI** : W T F 

 

 **GENJI** : YOU GUYS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE

 

 **GENJI** : BOTHERING HIM WITH ME

 

 **MCCREE** : h a

 

 **MCCREE** : now you know how I feel when y'all gang up on me

 

 **GENJI** : fuck 

 

 **GENJI** : we're not nice people 

 

 **ANA** : you just now realize that 

 

 **ANA** : after how many years 

 

 **ANA** : أطفالي اغبياء

 

 **D.VA** : OH SHIT I CAN PIN STUFF NOW

 

 

**[D.VA HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: we are not nice people (GENJI SHIMADA)]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : lol yw 

 

 **D.VA** : thank <3

 

 **S0MBRA** : <3

 

 **S0MBRA** : b oi where did hanzo go

 

 **MCCREE** : ill go get him

 

 **MCCREE** : yall happy annoying him 

 

 **GENJI** : yes

 

 **ANA** : ya

 

 **MCCREE** : w o w 

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 

 **ANA** : they're gonna fuck 

 

 **ANA** : him and hanzo 

 

 **ANA** : i can feel it 

 

 **GENJI** : gross

 

 **GENJI** : why 

 

 **GENJI** : ew

 

 **D.VA** : lmao 

 

 **ANA** : good for them 

 

 **ANA** : i mean im not into that

 

 **ANA** : but hey whatever works 

 

 **S0MBRA** : good way to look at it

 

 **S0MBRA** : gg

 

 **ANA** : thank 

 

 **D.VA** : sombra wtf are you trying to hack

 

 **S0MBRA** : shhh I almost got it

 

 **GENJI** : i fucking swear

 

 **GENJI** : NONO DONT DO IT

 

 **S0MBRA** : why are you hitting yourself ninja 

 

 **S0MBRA** : :^)

 

 **ANA** : omfg 

 

 **ANA** : ily sombra 

 

 **S0MBRA** : : ') gracias abuelita 

 

 **GENJI** : p lease stop sombra

 

 **S0MBRA** : you gotta make a good offer to me smh

 

 **GENJI** : ill pay you 200 dollars to stop

 

 **S0MBRA** : d e a l

 

 **D.VA:** gg

 

 **D.VA** : anyway grandma how's the bar hopping going

 

 **ANA** : holy shit we just found a place that has karaoke 

 

 **ANA** : we used to have a tradition whenever there was karaoke 

 

 **ANA** : me, reinhardt, jack, and gabe all went up together and attempted to all sing bohemian rhapsody together

 

 **ANA** : it was always a fucking mess

 

 **GENJI** : it really was

 

 **GENJI** : but I admire you all for trying 

 

 **ANA** : thank 

 

 **D.VA** : once we get back to the base we're having fucking karaoke night 

 

 **D.VA** : **_@gay_**

 

 **S0MBRA** : lol wish I could join

 

 **S0MBRA** : maybe I will ;)))

 

 **ANA** : do it 

 

 **ANA** : k we're here now gtg

 

 **ANA** : gonna sing it up

 

 **GENJI** : drink even more for me pls

 

 **ANA** : say no more

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS EXITED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : everyone went to bed already here

 

 **GENJI** : im so bored 

 

 **GENJI** : hana help

 

 **D.VA** : omfg

 

 **D.VA** : i have an idea

 

 **D.VA** : we need the uncles tho

 

 **S0MBRA** : **_@MCCREE @HANZO_**

 

 

**[SYMMETRA HAS ENTERED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

 

 

 **D.VA:** satya!! 

 

 **SYMMETRA** : Why are you all up?

 

 **GENJI** : why are you up

 

 **SYMMETRA** : I was concluding some research. 

 

 **D.VA** : nice

 

 **D.VA** : anyway since you're here do you want to play a game with all of us?

 

 **SYMMETRA** : What game?

 

 **S0MBRA** : is it what I think it is

 

 **D.VA** : cards against humanity 

 

 **S0MBRA** : knew it

 

 **GENJI** : shit i love that game 

 

 **SYMMETRA** : I will play.

 

 **D.VA** : N I C E 

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

**MCCREE** : shit ill play with yall 

 

 **HANZO** : I will join as well.

 

 **GENJI** : i didnt know there was a furry expansion

 

 **GENJI** : k that's the last time I'll say anything about it I swear 

 

 **HANZO** : Good.

 

 **D.VA** : guys let's all move to the voice channel

 

 **D.VA** : since some of you back at the base

 

 **S0MBRA** : smart

 

 **SYMMETRA** : Alright.

 

 

**[D.VA, SYMMETRA, S0MBRA, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE EXITED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> w oah one month of this being up  
> i hope y'all have been enjoying so far, it's been super fun to write.  
> sorry this update was a bit late, somewhat writers block rip  
> but don't you worry, next update will be up by Tuesday
> 
> now about this chapter  
> i think of Ana as pan ace tbh  
> now we have the sweet oldies together and they love each other very much  
> Hanzo is a fucking furry.
> 
> Translation notes: (feel free to correct me)  
> \- vaquero : cowboy  
> \- claro que si : obviously  
> \- por la mierda : holy shit  
> \- 이런 젠 장 : holy crap  
> \- 바보 : idiot  
> \- ゲイのカウボーイ : gay cowboy  
> \- أطفالي اغبياء : my children are idiots  
> \- gracias abuelita : thanks granny
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	15. mcfuntimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impromptu Cards Against Humanity game with some of the crew.
> 
> They're all terrible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> crude humor ahead, just an fyi if you wanna skip
> 
> it's just what you would except from a normal CAH game lmao

**[D.VA, SYMMETRA, S0MBRA, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED THE VOICE CHANNEL hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : "k I set up our lobby"

  
**D.VA** : "so once you get into the website look for the lobby called mcfuntimes"

  
**GENJI** : "oh my god"

  
**GENJI** : "good one"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "What is the password?"

  
**S0MBRA** : "tiddy"

  
**HANZO** : "Why."

  
**GENJI** : "because we all enjoy making fun of you two"

  
**D.VA** : "mostly mccree"

  
**GENJI** : "precisely"

  
**MCCREE** : "y'all are bullies"

  
**GENJI** : "what are you going to do jesse"

  
**GENJI** : "report me and put me in the bully box"

  
**S0MBRA** : "you guys have a bully box? holy shit"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "We do not have a bully box."

  
**S0MBRA** : "i was about to say"

  
**S0MBRA** : "you're like children"

  
**D.VA** : "mccree why did you name yourself mccowboy"

  
**MCCREE** : "the hell that ain't me"

  
**GENJI** : "it's me."

  
**GENJI** : "howdy"

  
**MCCREE** : "if you wanna play like that, then im gonna too"

  
**D.VA** : "gengo shimooda"

  
**D.VA** : "funny and original"

  
**MCCREE** : "shhhh"

  
**HANZO** : "Can't you both just pick a normal name."

  
**GENJI** : "no."

  
**GENJI** : "brother, you be creative too"

  
**D.VA** : "hanzo do it"

  
**MCCREE** : "babe join us"

  
**HANZO** : "Fine."

  
**D.VA** : "genji is a dumbass"

  
**D.VA** : "nice"

  
**MCCREE** : "2 against one genji"

  
**MCCREE** : "just give up"

  
**GENJI** : "no"

  
**S0MBRA** : "i got you boi"

  
**D.VA** : "hanzo is a furry"

  
**D.VA** : "gg sombra"

  
**MCCREE** : "i think if I try hard enough this communicator can kill me"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "Am I the only one with a normal name?"

  
**HANZO** : "I would not be surprised if you were."

  
**D.VA** : "what the fuck guys I have a normal name too"

  
**D.VA** : "it's just my call-sign"

  
**D.VA** : "im famous, so why wouldn't I use that name"

  
**D.VA** : "bragging rights"

  
**MCCREE** : "lucky kid"

  
**MCCREE** : "can't even use my name in public unless I wanna get killed"

  
**GENJI** : "you will do it after hana says gg again"

  
**GENJI** : "or right now cause I just said it"

  
**HANZO** : "We came here to play, did we not."

  
**D.VA** : "ya uncle ill start the game right now"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "The website has not kept up with all the expansion packs. These are all very out-dated."

  
**S0MBRA** : "shit you right"

  
**S0MBRA** : "how'd you know tho"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "I am familiar with this game."

  
**D.VA** : "o shit Satya's gonna sweep us"

  
**S0MBRA** : "everyone would be betting on who would win if they were up"

  
**GENJI** : "duh"

  
**GENJI** : "it's overwatch tradition"

  
**MCCREE** : "exactly"

  
**D.VA** : "k guys we're starting now"

  
**HANZO** : "How many points do we need to win?"

  
**D.VA** : "five to win. there's 30 blank cards, used the 3 editions, 1-6 of the box expansions, 90s pack, and the holiday packs"

  
**MCCREE** : "why the fuck are we using holiday packs"

  
**MCCREE** : "its November. relax"

  
**MCCREE** : "thanksgiving hasn't even passed for fucks sake"

  
**HANZO** : "Jesse, you're the only American one here."

  
**MCCREE** : "shhhh"

  
**GENJI** : "hanzo are you going to just let him shush you"

  
**D.VA** : "all of you shut up"

  
**D.VA** : "we're starting now"

  
**S0MBRA** : "card czar has to read everything out loud"

  
**MCCREE** : "kay im the card czar"

  
**D.VA** : "then read uncle"

  
**MCCREE** : "why can't I sleep at night?"

  
**GENJI** : "fuck I don't have a blank card"

  
**S0MBRA** : "you were gonna put hanzo weren't you"

  
**GENJI** : "yes"

  
**D.VA** : "oh my god im gonna win this round"

  
**MCCREE** : "alrighty yall time to read"

  
**MCCREE** : "why can't I sleep at night?"

  
**MCCREE** : "daddy's belt"

  
**GENJI** : "pffff"

  
**MCCREE** : "snorting coke off a clown's boner"

  
**D.VA** : "kinky"

  
**MCCREE** : "krampus the austrian christmas monster"

  
**S0MBRA** : "spook"

  
**MCCREE** : "her royal highness queen elizabeth ii"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "So out-dated."

  
**MCCREE** : "and the gays"

  
**MCCREE** : "holy shit"

  
**MCCREE** : "that ones the winner"

  
**D.VA** : "w HAT THE FUCK"

  
**D.VA** : "bUT DADDY'S BELT"

  
**HANZO** : "Do not complain. It's a fair game."

  
**GENJI** : "of course you won't complain"

  
**GENJI** : "you won that round"

  
**MCCREE** : "yall had to know I would pick the gay card"

  
**GENJI** : "shit that's a fair point"

  
**GENJI** : "k nevermind"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "Alright, I am the Card Czar this round."

  
**SYMMETRA** : "During Picasso's often overlooked Brown Period, he produced hundreds of paintings of blank."

  
**MCCREE** : "god damn ive got shit cards"

  
**S0MBRA** : "same"

  
**GENJI** : "ha you guys are going to lose"

  
**D.VA** : "all of you guys are gonna lose"

  
**D.VA** : "i play to win"

  
**GENJI** : "stop"

  
**D.VA** : "never"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "Alright, all of them are in."

  
**SYMMETRA** : "During Picasso's often overlooked Brown Period, he produced hundreds of paintings of fear itself."

  
**SYMMETRA** : "He produced hundreds of paintings of jizz."

  
**SYMMETRA** : "He produced hundreds of paintings of classist undertones."

  
**D.VA** : "w hat the hell you were supposed to read them all before you picked"

  
**S0MBRA** : "and of course it's hanzo again"

  
**GENJI** : "what the fuck brother how are you do good at this"

  
**HANZO** : "It is simple to analyze what you all classify as funny."

  
**D.VA** : "no fair"

  
**D.VA** : "w AIT FAIR NOW YOU CANT GET A POINT H A"

  
**S0MBRA** : "read the card tiddyman"

  
**MCCREE** : "my god"

  
**MCCREE** : "pumpkin please don't murder her"

  
**HANZO** : "Fine. Now let me read the card."

  
**HANZO** : "I wish I hadn't lost the instruction manual for blank."

  
**GENJI** : "oh man I've got this"

  
**MCCREE** : "sure you do"

  
**S0MBRA** : "aw shit i have bad cards"

  
**D.VA** : "rip"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "Why must you all speak in acronyms?"

  
**HANZO** : "I've wondered the same."

  
**MCCREE** : "cause we're lazy"

  
**MCCREE** : "kay darling go ahead and read them all now"

  
**HANZO** : "I know, Jesse."

  
**HANZO** : "I wish I hadn't lost the instruction manual for World Peace."

  
**D.VA** : "@world"

  
**HANZO** : "I wish I hadn't lost the instruction manual for A Super Soaker full of cat pee."

  
**S0MBRA** : "i told you all i had shit cards"

  
**MCCREE** : "ha"

  
**HANZO** : "I wish I hadn't lost the instruction manual for McCree's dick."

  
**D.VA** : "O H MY GOD"

  
**S0MBRA** : "HOLY FUCK"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "He will not pick that card."

  
**GENJI** : "unfortunately true"

  
**GENJI** : "should have saved my blank card for when jesse is the czar"

  
**GENJI** : "jesse come back and stop dying"

  
**MCCREE** : "i think im alive"

  
**MCCREE** : "lord help me"

  
**HANZO** : "Genji, you really should have saved it. He would have obviously picked it."

  
**GENJI** : "honestly"

  
**D.VA** : "gg genji"

  
**MCCREE** : "f ucking"

  
**HANZO** : "Alright, let me finish."

  
**HANZO** : "I wish I hadn't lost the instruction manual for filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding."

  
**HANZO** : "I wish I hadn't lost the instruction manual for the amount of gay I am."

  
**D.VA** : "is he laughing"

  
**GENJI** : "oh my god hanzo"

  
**GENJI** : "you are laughing"

  
**MCCREE** : "yep ive died and gone straight to heaven"

  
**MCCREE** : "holy shit"

  
**S0MBRA** : "gay"

  
**D.VA** : "gay"

  
**GENJI** : "gay"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "Gay."

  
**HANZO** : "Let me laugh in peace."

  
**D.VA** : "woah that was Satya's card"

  
**S0MBRA** : "gg"

  
**MCCREE** : "holy hell did not expect that"

  
**GENJI** : "she and hanzo are good friends now"

  
**GENJI** : "not surprised"

  
**HANZO** : "Good one, Satya."

  
**SYMMETRA** : "Thank you."

  
**D.VA** : "aight 3 rounds in and we have Hanzo in first with 2 points, Satya in second with 1, and the rest of us are fucking losers with no points"

  
**D.VA** : "nice im the card czar"

  
**S0MBRA** : "read yo"

  
**D.VA** : "when you get down to it, blank is just blank"

  
**MCCREE** : "oh man ive got this"

  
**GENJI** : "no i do"

  
**HANZO** : "I have garbage cards."

  
**SYMMETRA** : "As do I."

  
**S0MBRA** : "ha rip me too"

  
**D.VA** : "shit that was fast"

  
**D.VA** : "k lets go bois"

  
**D.VA** : "when you get down to it, eating an albino is really just the Big Bang"

  
**S0MBRA** : "babe forgive me, it would have been way better if my cards weren't literal ass"

  
**D.VA** : "it's cool"

  
**D.VA** : "when you get down to it, masturbation is just giving 110%"

  
**GENJI** : "hana calm down"

  
**GENJI** : "you can't die in call, you have to do that on your own time"

  
**S0MBRA** : "exactly that's how it works"

  
**S0MBRA** : "rule 4 no death"

  
**MCCREE** : "the fuck are the other rules"

  
**S0MBRA** : "how the hell should I know"

  
**S0MBRA** : "i only made rule 4"

  
**S0MBRA** : "that's my rule and you guys better follow it"

  
**D.VA** : "ask Ana to put it on a pillow"

  
**GENJI** : "can we please"

  
**GENJI** : "this is all I need in life"

  
**HANZO** : "There's a timer to pick cards."

  
**D.VA** : "shit you right"

  
**D.VA** : "express reading time"

  
**D.VA** : "a neglected tamagotchi is just the milk man"

  
**D.VA** : "getting high is just snorting coke off a clown's boner"

  
**D.VA** : "rip we had that card before"

  
**D.VA** : "and finally 10 incredible facts about the anus is just survivors guilt"

  
**D.VA** : "obviously the masturbation one wins"

  
**MCCREE** : "H A"

  
**D.VA** : "gg uncle"

  
**MCCREE** : "stop it"

  
**S0MBRA** : "both of you stop im the card czar now"

  
**S0MBRA** : "when I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate blank"

  
**S0MBRA** : "better bring your A game guys"

  
**GENJI** : "on it"

  
**D.VA** : "get ready for the greatest card ever"

  
**S0MBRA** : "k"

  
**S0MBRA** : "woah you guys are fast nice"

  
**S0MBRA** : "k so when I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate existing"

  
**GENJI** : "pfffff"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "I can appreciate that humor."

  
**MCCREE** : "same"

  
**S0MBRA** : "when I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate my micro penis"

  
**HANZO** : "That would not be a very big statue then."

  
**D.VA** : "S HIT GUYS IM GONNA BE DEAD BY THE END OF THIS GAME"

  
**S0MBRA** : "rule 4"

  
**S0MBRA** : "when I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate the whatever a mcrib is made out of"

  
**S0MBRA** : "that had to have been mccree"

  
**MCCREE** : "ain't mine"

  
**MCCREE** : "just cause it has mc in it doesn't make it automatically me"

  
**D.VA** : "k sure"

  
**S0MBRA** : "when I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate beastiality"

  
**S0MBRA** : "hanzo you fucking furry"

  
**HANZO** : "Do you want me to ram my head into this wall."

  
**GENJI** : "do it"

  
**MCCREE** : "be nice to him"

  
**GENJI** : "j esse stop being so gay and be on my side"

  
**MCCREE** : "never"

  
**S0MBRA** : "shhh lemme read the last one"

  
**S0MBRA** : "when I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate the all new Nissan path finder with 0.9% APR financing"

  
**S0MBRA** : "that ones pretty funny not gonna lie"

  
**S0MBRA** : "but obviously this ones the winner"

  
**HANZO** : "Easy."

  
**GENJI** : "YOUR'S WAS THE MICRO PENIS CARD WHAT THE FUCK"

  
**HANZO** : "Of course. I am good at this game."

  
**D.VA** : "come on hanzo, im the one who's supposed to be good at games around here"

  
**HANZO** : "I am simply better than you at this."

  
**D.VA** : "u ghhhh"

  
**GENJI** : "YES IM THE CZAR NOW"

  
**GENJI** : "i work my ass off all day for my family and and this is what I come home to? blank?!"

  
**GENJI** : "if you make fun of hanzo im definitely picking yours"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "That is not a fair way to pick the winner."

  
**GENJI** : "satya, it's completely fair. you'd understand if you had a brother like hanzo"

  
**GENJI** : "woah you're all already done nice"

  
**GENJI** : "k i work my ass off all day for my family and and this is what I come home to? depression?!"

  
**MCCREE** : "holy hell thats a good one"

  
**D.VA** : "honestly"

  
**GENJI** : "i work my ass off all day for my family and and this is what I come home to? my son furiously jacking off to furry bondage porn?!"

  
**GENJI** : "holy shit i need a minute"

  
**S0MBRA** : "good card"

  
**D.VA** : "who the hell put it tho"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "I did."

  
**MCCREE** : "S WEET JESUS SATYA"

  
**HANZO** : "Satya, you were my only ally in this cold, cruel meme war. How could you."

  
**SYMMETRA** : "Hanzo, you are not the only one good at this game."

  
**S0MBRA** : "f ucking"

  
**S0MBRA** : "i can't with this anymore"

  
**S0MBRA** : "boop"

  
**D.VA** : "sombra did you just hack the game"

  
**S0MBRA** : "maybe"

  
**MCCREE** : "damn cheater"

  
**S0MBRA** : "there, hana wins"

  
**S0MBRA** : "now, i want food"

  
**GENJI** : "shit same"

  
**GENJI** : "too bad someone tried killing me and now I can't eat"

  
**HANZO** : "Stop."

  
**GENJI** : "fine"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "I am quite tired myself, though this was enjoyable."

  
**HANZO** : "It was to a certain extent."

  
**D.VA** : "next time we gotta have ana here too please"

  
**MCCREE** : "yes it's fucking amazing when she plays"

  
**MCCREE** : "but now lets go get a midnight snack yall"

  
**S0MBRA** : "sounds like a plan"

  
**HANZO** : "Good night, Satya."

  
**HANZO** : "And Genji, I assume you will stay up?"

  
**GENJI** : "maybe"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "Good night, everyone."

  
**D.VA** : "night!!"

  
**MCCREE** : "nighty yall"

 

 

**[D.VA, SYMMETRA, S0MBRA, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE EXITED THE VOICE CHANNEL hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off, holy shit guys thank you all for the hits and kudos. everytime I see a new comment and new kudos, I scream on the inside. never thought this would turn out this big lmao  
> glad yall enjoy my giant shitpost : ')
> 
> k back to this chapter 
> 
> based off a real CAH game I had with some of my buddies  
> we were dying together 
> 
> we got more Satya here!! you can't tell me she wouldn't be a secret master of CAH  
> comical genius, her and Hanzo analyzing what everyone would find funny  
> genius 
> 
> rule 4 no death also based on the only rule my lads and I can remember we made on our server :^))
> 
> finally, to any American readers, happy thanksgiving! 
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	16. ninja nudes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lads are back, and ready to make fun of Genji.  
> Memes are afoot. 
> 
> (And they're ready for the annual holiday party.)

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS ENTERED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]  
**

 

 **  
GENJI** : its like 5 in the morning holy shit

  
**GENJI** : so tired

  
**GENJI** : cant sleep

  
**GENJI** : excited that you guys will be back on base tomorrow

  
**GENJI** : wait

  
**GENJI** : guys

  
**GENJI** : wouldn't all pictures of myself technically be nudes

  
**GENJI** : ninja nudes

  
**GENJI** : i need sleep

  
**GENJI** : mcshit

 

  
  
**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS EXITED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]  
**

**  
**-  


**[D.VA, MERCY, PHARAH, SOLDIER: 76, ANA AMARI, JESSE MCCREE, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE ENTERED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

 

 **  
ANA** : WE'RE HOME BOIS

  
**PHARAH** : Welcome back, Mother.

  
**ANA** : thank

  
**ANA** : how was everything while we were gone?

  
**PHARAH** : It was good. Somewhat calmer around here, but we all missed you.

  
**ANA** : awww we missed you too

  
**MCCREE** : genji what the fuck

  
**MCCREE** : now im gonna remember that whenever we take pictures

  
**D.VA** : ninja nudes

  
**REINHARDT** : ninja n00ds

  
**HANZO** : Someone pin it so we can make fun of Genji.

 

  
**[JESSE MCCREE HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: wouldn't all pictures of myself technically be nudes (GENJI SHIMADA)]**

**  
[JESSE MCCREE HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: ninja nudes (GENJI SHIMADA)]**

**  
**  
**D.VA** : can i get this printed on a shirt pls

  
**MCCREE** : new petition

  
**MCCREE** : get genji's dumb ramblings on shirts

  
**ANA** : make a kickstarter rn

  
**76** : Ana, they won't get it.

  
**ANA** : shhhh

  
**ANA** : you get it

  
**ANA** : rein gets it

  
**ANA** : let me make my old jokes

  
**REINHARDT** : gg that was a good one, Ana

  
**ANA** : thank

  
**D.VA** : y ou think i don't know what kickstarter is

  
**D.VA** : boi

  
**MCCREE** : what the hell is kickstarter

  
**HANZO** : Jesse.

  
**HANZO** : How do you not know what kickstarter is.

 

  
**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS ENTERED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

 

 **  
GENJI** : did i make it in time to make fun of jesse

  
**ANA** : right on time gg

 

**  
[D.VA HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: did i make it in time to make fun of jesse (GENJI SHIMADA)]**

 

 **  
MCCREE** : why

  
**HANZO** : All of you be nice.

  
**GENJI** : no

  
**ANA** : no

  
**REINHARDT** : no

  
**D.VA** : no

  
**76** : Don't even try with them honestly.

  
**ANA** : lmao

  
**ANA** : you just don't know how to have fun jack

  
**REINHARDT** : ^

  
**ANA** : even when we were bar hopping

  
**ANA** : you were just mopeing around

  
**REINHARDT** : why tho

  
**76** : I wasn't mopeing.

  
**76** : I was being responsible.

  
**ANA** : being a mom*

  
**ANA** : i mean i should know lol

  
**MCCREE** : the old folks are fighting someone get the camera

  
**D.VA** : you're calling t h e m old

  
**D.VA** : that's funny

  
**MCCREE** : w ell you're a fucking fetus

  
**GENJI** : a fetus

 

  
**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: w ell you're a fucking fetus (JESSE MCCREE)]**

 

 **  
ANA** : holy shit guys you've all said so many pin worthy things

  
**ANA** : i'm so proud

  
**GENJI** : thanks mom

  
**ANA** : yw

  
**D.VA** : at least im a successful fetus

  
**MCCREE** : kay can't argue with that

  
**MCCREE** : youve done a lot of great sht for someone your age kid

  
**D.VA** : c:

  
**D.VA** : you're actually not that bad yourself despite all the shit we give you

  
**GENJI** : ^

  
**MCCREE** : aw shit thanks

  
**ANA** : you've all done some good shit honestly

  
**REINHARDT** : ^ yes you all have

  
**PHARAH** : Thank you.

  
**MERCY** : We appreciate it. : )

  
**GENJI** : you hear that hanzo we've done good

  
**GENJI** : by good i assume she means that you and jesse have fucced

  
**D.VA** : fucc

  
**HANZO** : Genji, why must you do this.

  
**GENJI** : this is what little brothers do

  
**GENJI** : constantly annoy his older brother

  
**MCCREE** : seems about right

  
**MCCREE** : you little shit

  
**GENJI** : ily too jesse

  
**GENJI** : <3

  
**MCCREE** : what are you fucking gay

  
**ANA** : OLD MEME

 

  
**[ANA AMARI HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: what are you fucking gay (JESSE MCCREE)]**

 

 **  
REINHARDT** : that is a good one

  
**D.VA** : lmao

  
**D.VA** : i got an even better one

  
**D.VA** : and its a ho memade meme

  
**D.VA** : [[robo_D A B]](https://www.dropbox.com/s/w0mf0zjc7vem67y/robo_D%20A%20B.jpg?dl=0)

  
**ANA** : H OLY SHIT

  
**GENJI** : HANA WHY

  
**MERCY** : Congratulations, you have almost killed Fareeha from laughter for the second time.

  
**PHARAH** : have mercy

  
**MCCREE** : w

  
**MCCREE** : was that supposed to be a pun

  
**MERCY** : :)

  
**ANA** : gg my little fareeha

  
**MERCY** : She is currently laughing still.

  
**MERCY** : It’s very cute.

  
**ANA** : lmao gay

  
**ANA** : but super sweet

  
**ANA** : you two are good for each other

  
**MCCREE** : ^

  
**ANA** : jesse shh im the mother here

  
**ANA** : i get to judge all relationships not you

  
**REINHARDT** : its her motherly right

  
**ANA** : yeah boi

  
**ANA** : ill do it rn idc

  
**D.VA** : go grandma

  
**ANA** : k so angela and fareeha

  
**ANA** : very good. very wholesome. you girls are good for each other.

  
**MERCY** : Thank you for thinking so, Ms. Amari.

  
**PHARAH** : Thank you, Mother.

  
**PHARAH** : <3

  
**ANA** : <3

  
**ANA** : k jesse and hanzo

  
**ANA** : you two keep each other super happy and that's really nice and sweet

  
**ANA** : very good boys

  
**MCCREE** : thank ya kindly

  
**HANZO** : Yes, thank you.

  
**D.VA** : you guys are g a y

  
**HANZO** : You are too.

  
**D.VA** : :^)

  
**ANA** : hana and sombra

  
**ANA** : any relationship that you meme together all the time and have fun together is good in my book

  
**ANA** : and you girls really like each other

  
**ANA** : I approve.

  
**D.VA** : thanks 할머니 

  
**ANA** : np

  
**ANA** : lemme think who else

  
**PHARAH** : Mei and Aleksandra?

  
**ANA** : you right

  
**ANA** : very good and very nice

  
**ANA** : im very happy for them

  
**MCCREE** : same

  
**GENJI** : ^

  
**ANA** : next

  
**ANA** : genji and his right hand

  
**ANA** : needs to relax

  
**GENJI** : w h a t  t h e  f u c k

  
**MCCREE** : holy shit

  
**MCCREE** : holy shit

  
**MCCREE** : HANZO'S LAUGHING

  
**REINHARDT** : gg ana

  
**ANA** : did

  
**ANA** : did i make the great hanz o shimada

  
**ANA** : king of sticks up asses

  
**ANA** : laugh

  
**ANA** : today is the pinnacle of my memeing career

  
**GENJI** : we need to throw a party

  
**ANA** : I know what I want

  
**ANA** : remember back in the day we'd have ladies night/ boys night

  
**ANA** : then after we'd just all get back together and fucking have karaoke night

  
**MCCREE** : shit that was fun as all hell

  
**76** : I'll admit, it was.

  
**GENJI** : omg can we do that again please

  
**ANA** : that's what I want

  
**ANA** : as our holiday party too

  
**ANA** : good idea?

  
**REINHARDT** : yes

  
**MCCREE** : yes

  
**GENJI** : ya

  
**HANZO** : I will try it.

  
**MCCREE** : N I C E

  
**MCCREE** : babe i promise youll have a hell of a good time

  
**GENJI** : he's actually right it's super fucking fun

  
**D.VA** : d ude im so excited

  
**D.VA** : so first we go girls and lads with each other

  
**D.VA** : im assuming we all get drunk and dumb

  
**D.VA** : then drunk karaoke all together

  
**REINHARDT** : precisely

  
**D.VA** : bless

  
**D.VA** : this is gonna be amazing

  
**MERCY** : I will be looking forward to it!

  
**PHARAH** : I will be too.

  
**ANA** : _**@gay**_ HOLIDAY KARAOKE PARTY THING NEXT WEEK EVERYONE PLS COME FOR MCFUNTIMES

  
**MCCREE** : f ucking

  
**D.VA** : :^)

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ENTERED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : PARTY NICE

  
**S0MBRA** : ILL FIND A WAY TO BE THERE FOR SURE

  
**D.VA** : :0

  
**D.VA** : f uck yes I get to see you again

  
**S0MBRA** : <3

  
**D.VA** : <3

  
**S0MBRA** : ill be dragging some buddies along with me if that's cool

  
**ANA** : idc the more the merrier

  
**REINHARDT** : ^

  
**76** : Say that again when she brings murders with her.

  
**S0MBRA** : viejo 

  
**S0MBRA** : you don't trust me?

  
**S0MBRA** : why tho

  
**S0MBRA** : im a cool dude

  
**D.VA** : yeah!! dad pls trust her

  
**76:** Fine.

  
**D.VA** : c:

  
**GENJI** : wait guys

  
**GENJI** : don't you all have to go give the mission report to winston

  
**ANA** : shit you right

  
**ANA** : lets go lads

  
**MERCY** : I have to go as well, Fareeha and I are young to go have lunch.

  
**PHARAH** : Yes. We'll see you all later?

  
**MCCREE** : ya dinner tonight yall

  
**GENJI** : hanzo and I are in charge

  
**GENJI** : prepare for a fucking delicious meal

  
**HANZO** : ^

  
**S0MBRA** : k nice

  
**S0MBRA** : ill ttyl my bois

  
**ANA** : later

  
**REINHARDT** : losers

  
**ANA** : bless your soul reinhardt

  
**REINHARDT** : <3

  
**ANA** : <3

 

 

**[D.VA, MERCY, PHARAH, SOLDIER: 76, S0MBRA, ANA AMARI, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM have exited hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who's ready for drunk karaoke soon bois
> 
> idk if all pictures of genji would be ninja nudes  
> dude I hope so  
> so he could be even more of a walking meme  
> i had to incorporate that picture of genji dabbing somehow please forgive me
> 
> ooo wonder who those buddies of sombra are gonna be :^)
> 
> stay tuned for the next chapter my dudes
> 
> Translation notes: (feel free to correct me)  
> \- 할머니 : granny  
> \- viejo : old man
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	17. dickcember: part 1/3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tis the season for memeing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't put it before cause I'm an absolute fucking idiot but [this fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7544062/chapters/17154502) and [this fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7324573/chapters/16637323) are my biggest inspirations. Seriously, read them dudes, its some top notch chatfics.

[ **ANA AMARI HAS ADDED D.VA, MERCY, PHARAH, SYMMETRA, WIDOWMAKER, ZARYA, S0MBRA, AND MEI-LING ZHOU TO THE CHATROOM]**

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS RENAMED THE CHATROOM TO gal pals]**

 

**[D.VA, MERCY, PHARAH, SYMMETRA, WIDOWMAKER, ZARYA, S0MBRA, AND MEI-LING ZHOU HAVE ENTERED gal pals]**

 

**ANA** : k gals

 

 **ANA** : party is tomorrow

 

 **ANA** : has everyone gotten a present for who they got

 

 **SYMMETRA** : I have been supervising the exchange, and almost everyone has reported that they have bought their gifts.

 

 **SYMMETRA** : Except for Hana, Jesse, Genji, and Lena.

 

 **D.VA** : :^)

 

 **TRACER** : I actually got it today!!

 

 **SYMMETRA** : Excellent.

 

 **ZARYA** : What are we doing tomorrow?

 

 **MEI** : ^

 

 **ANA** : i got it all planned my gals

 

 **ANA** : it's a surprise 

 

 **PHARAH** : Mother, please do not go too crazy about all of this.

 

 **ANA** : fareeha ill be fine

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : I can not believe I am letting Sombra drag me to this.

 

 **S0MBRA** : itll be fun I promise

 

 **TRACER** : It always is! :D

 

 **TRACER** : I remember this one member of Overwatch before, her name was Amélie, we used to have a ton of fun together during the parties 

 

 **TRACER** : Just messing around together

 

 **TRACER** : I really miss her.

 

 **ANA** : we all do

 

 **S0MBRA** : wait i thought you guys all knew

 

 **D.VA** : knew what?

 

 **S0MBRA** : so apparently talon brainwashed her or something 

 

 **S0MBRA** : made her murder her husband 

 

 **S0MBRA** : then they turned her into what they call a perfect assassin.

 

 **S0MBRA** : pretty fucked up honestly 

 

 **MERCY** : Perfect assassin?

 

 

**[WIDOWMAKER HAS EXITED gal pals]**

 

 **TRACER** : oh

 

 **MEI** : So what you're saying is that Widowmaker is Amélie?

 

 **S0MBRA** : yes

 

 **S0MBRA** : unfortunately 

 

 **TRACER** : i gotta go

 

 **MERCY** : Lena, wait.

 

 

**[TRACER HAS EXITED gal pals]**

 

**ANA** : shit dude

 

 **ANA** : causing all this drama a day before the party

 

 **PHARAH** : Perhaps we can fix this all together?

 

 **MERCY** : I believe it is worth a shot.

 

 **D.VA** : ya let's try

 

 **S0MBRA** : shit did I fuck everything up

 

 **S0MBRA** : sorry

 

 **S0MBRA** : i honestly thought you guys all knew

 

 **ANA** : it's k we can try to make this better

 

 **ANA** : everyone report back here in 3 hours for any progress

 

 **MEI** : Okay.

 

 **SYMMETRA** : I will send a reminder to everyone here. 

 

 

**[D.VA, MERCY, PHARAH, SYMMETRA, S0MBRA, ZARYA, ANA AMARI, AND MEI-LING ZHOU HAVE EXITED gal pals]**

 

-

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS ADDED JUNKRAT, ROADHOG, REAPER, SOLDIER: 76, WINSTON, ZENYATTA, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS,  TORBJÖRN LINDHOLM, JESSE MCCREE, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM TO THE CHATROOM]**

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS RENAMED THE CHATROOM bois night]**

 

**[JUNKRAT, ROADHOG, REAPER, SOLDIER: 76, WINSTON, ZENYATTA, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, TORBJÖRN LINDHOLM, JESSE MCCREE, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE ENTERED bois night]**

 

 **MCCREE** : god damn that was fast

 

 **GENJI** : of course

 

 **GENJI** : it's the holiday party

 

 **GENJI** : im all over that shit

 

 **ZENYATTA** : I'm sure the party will turn out wonderful.

 

 **LÚCIO** : yeah!!

 

 **GENJI** : thanks guys

 

 **GENJI** : <3

 

 **LÚCIO** : <3

 

 **ZENYATTA** : <3

 

 **REINHARDT** : gay

 

 **GENJI** : s hhhhh 

 

 **JUNKRAT** : ITS GAY

 

 **JUNKRAT** : THATS LIKE SAYING

 

 **JUNKRAT** : YOU NEED WATER TO LIVE

 

 **ROADHOG** : Jamison, behave 

 

 **JUNKRAT** : KAY

 

 **HANZO** : Some of you still need to purchase your gifts.

 

 **MCCREE** : oh yeah you and satya are in charge of that

 

 **HANZO** : Yes.

 

 **HANZO** : You still need to buy your gift, Jesse.

 

 **MCCREE** : actually gonna get it today

 

 **MCCREE** : it's pretty cool 

 

 **GENJI** : something you bought

 

 **GENJI** : cool

 

 **GENJI** : okay jesse 

 

 **GENJI** : o k a y

 

 **HANZO** : Genji, you still need to buy your present too.

 

 **GENJI** : SHIT

 

 **GENJI** : ive been planning the party with ana and rein wtf

 

 **GENJI** : jesse get me something when you get your gift

 

 **GENJI** : wait nevermind it'll be lame if I let you pick

 

 **MCCREE** : ouch

 

 **REAPER** : **Just as I remember it, a total shitstorm.**

 

 **REINHARDT** : way to sound like a 12 year old

 

 **LÚCIO** : lmao

 

 **76** : Are you even coming?

 

 **REAPER** : Sombra is forcing me to. I don't want to deal with her if I wouldn't go.

 

 **MCCREE** : rip 

 

 **GENJI** : itll be like a family reunion 

 

 **GENJI** : jesse gets to see his edgy dad again and see his new sister again

 

 **REINHARDT** : cooler sister 

 

 **ZENYATTA** : Her nails do look very cool.

 

 **GENJI** : I K R 

 

 **GENJI** : i want nails like that wtf

 

 **GENJI** : oh wait I don't have nails

 

 **GENJI** : cause I almost got murdered 

 

 **GENJI** : gg hanzo ruining me getting cool ass manicures

 

 **HANZO** : You would have changed your mind at least 20 times before forgetting about it completely.

 

 **MCCREE** : d a m n

 

 **MCCREE** : you tell him han

 

 **JUNKRAT** : ANOTHER BROTHER FIGHT NICE

 

 **ROADHOG** : Jamison.

 

 **JUNKRAT** : FINE

 

 **WINSTON** : I hate to interrupt, but what was even the purpose of making a separate chat?

 

 **GENJI** : oh yeah

 

 **GENJI** : just to tell you guys to meet in the rec room tomorrow

 

 **GENJI** : 22:00 is when we start

 

 **GENJI** : we get the rec room and the girls get the kitchen and common room 

 

 **GENJI** : ana demanded it

 

 **76** : Of course she did.

 

 **REAPER** : **More room there.**

 

 **REAPER** : **That's why she always set up there.**

 

 **MCCREE** : i remember one year she set up a table just for beer pong

 

 **MCCREE** : don't remember much after that 

 

 **GENJI** : i remember 

 

 **GENJI** : dude

 

 **GENJI** : we made out that night 

 

 **MCCREE** : W H A T

 

 **REAPER** : **Estupido.**

 

 **MCCREE** : HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS

 

 **GENJI** : i feel like we should meme about this in the normal chatroom

 

 **HANZO** : Why would you let everyone know about this.

 

 **GENJI** : cause it's meme material 

 

 **GENJI** : duh

 

 **MCCREE** : i swear i will murder you genji 

 

 **GENJI** : sure

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS EXITED bois night]**

 

 **LÚCIO** : shit dude

 

 **LÚCIO** : you better follow him to that chatroom

 

 **HANZO** : ^

 

 **HANZO** : You should, Jesse.

 

 **MCCREE** : E VERYONE TO THE NORMAL ROOM

 

 **REINHARDT** : k

 

 **JUNKRAT** : OKAY

 

 

**[JUNKRAT, ROADHOG, REAPER, SOLDIER: 76, WINSTON, ZENYATTA, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, TORBJÖRN LINDHOLM, JESSE MCCREE, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE EXITED bois night]**

 

**-**

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS ENTERED hanzo shimada is a  fucking furry]**

 

 

 **ANA** : gotta do my daily memeing here bois

 

 

**[D.VA, MERCY, AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED hanzo shimada is a fucking furry]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : pls meme on us oh great one 

 

 **ANA** : i got you

 

 **ANA** : i havent sent my December copypasta yet 

 

 **HANZO** : Please not again.

 

 **MERCY** : ^

 

 **MERCY** : Please, Ana.

 

 **ANA** : **_@gay_** hey you christmas elf lookin bitches it's the end of HOEvember but that means the beginning of DICKcember it's time to hoe HOE h o e all over a big ol dick tis the season to be all over that dick if someone sent you this it means you're a hoe ass bitch resend to 1 5 other reindeer bitches who need to get DICKed the fuc k DOWNNN this holiday season if you don't resend this you're a christmas elf lookin ass bitch who aint gettin no dick merry dickmas

 

 **D.VA** : DICKCEMBER

 

 **ANA** : i might have missed hoevember but im ready for dickcember

 

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA HAS RENAMED THE CHATROOM TO dickcember]**

 

 

 **HANZO** : You're welcome.

 

 **ANA** : H OLY SHIT

 

 **ANA** : ARE YOU ONE OF US MEMERS NOW

 

 **D.VA** : UNCLE JOIN US

 

 **D.VA** : PLS

 

 **HANZO** : This one time.

 

 **HANZO** : Genji used to call it the season of memeing.

 

 **MERCY** : He is not wrong. They always memed even more during this time.

 

 **D.VA** : i mean i can see why

 

 **D.VA** : we're all here together like a big weird ass family

 

 **D.VA** : and the way we are

 

 **ANA** : it's no surprise there's more memeing

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED dickcember]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : GENJI DONT YOU FUCKING DARE

 

 **HANZO** : Here we go again.

 

 **GENJI** : ANA YOURE HERE

 

 **GENJI** : REMEMBER THAT ONE HOLIDAY PARTY THAT YOU SET UP THE BEER PONG TABLE

 

 **ANA** : fuck yeah

 

 **ANA** : that was great 

 

 **ANA** : oh man that was the year jesse got fucking drunk as hell

 

 **ANA** : that was funny

 

 **ANA** : he was a sad drunk lmao

 

 **ANA** : so you were there trying to cheer him up

 

 **ANA** : then next thing I know you two are in the corner fucking making out

 

 **MCCREE** : i dont remember any of this

 

 **MCCREE** : k ill me

 

 **GENJI** : h a 

 

 **D.VA** : W H A T

 

 **MERCY** : I remember that.

 

 **MERCY** : We were all laughing about it at the party.

 

 **ANA** : lmao yeah

 

 **GENJI** : it was pretty funny tbh

 

 **GENJI** : pretty good makeout session too

 

 **GENJI** : hanzo you're a lucky dude

 

 **HANZO** : I know I am.

 

 **MCCREE** : i know how to please my mAn

 

 **MCCREE** : im a fucking wonderful boyfriend 

 

 **D.VA** : wow conceited 

 

 **HANZO** : You are a very great boyfriend.

 

 **HANZO** : I love you, Jesse.

 

 **ANA** : how sweet

 

 **GENJI** : g a y

 

 **D.VA** : homosexual 

 

 **MCCREE** : shut the fuck up all of you

 

 **MCCREE** : let me be gay with my boyfriend

 

 **GENJI** : fine

 

 **MCCREE** : good

 

 **MCCREE** : h anzo i love you too

 

 **MCCREE** : so much

 

 **MCCREE** : just holy shit

 

 **MCCREE** : i love you a lot

 

 **HANZO** : I love you very much too.

 

 **MERCY** : That's so sweet :)

 

 **ANA** : jfc thanks for the diabetes 

 

 **D.VA** : ^

 

 **D.VA** : anyway since you guys are all here

 

 **D.VA** : you wanna do a special stream with me?

 

 **GENJI** : YES

 

 **MCCREE** : pls yes

 

 **HANZO** : Sure.

 

 **MERCY** : Oh, I've never streamed with you before, Hana. I'm sure it will be very fun!

 

 **ANA** : what kind of question is that

 

 **ANA** : of course ill do it

 

 **ANA** : just name the stream dickcember please

 

 **D.VA** : genius

 

 **D.VA** : k guys just come over to my room then pls

 

 **MCCREE** : kay

 

 **GENJI** : ill be there in a second

 

 **ANA** : see you suckers in a bit

 

 

**[D.VA, MERCY, ANA AMARI, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE EXITED dickcember]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn sombra starting shit  
> gg  
> future widowtracer? ;)))
> 
> but eyyy we ended on a happy note at least!  
> mchanzo for the soul
> 
> so there's gonna be 3 parts to the holiday party, and im keeping up with the weekly updates unless trying to write for mchanzo week consumes me whole. so we got holiday stuff almost all month  
> expect something special for new years too my dudes
> 
> p a r t y  
> n e x t
> 
> happy dickcember 
> 
> Translation Notes: (feel free to correct me)  
> \- Estupido. : Stupid. 
> 
>  
> 
> Feel free to leave any suggestions or prompts over at [my tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	18. dickcember: part 2/3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bois night/ gals night.
> 
> Time for some drunk adventures.

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS JOINED THE VOICE CHANNEL bois night]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : "k guys you know the drill"

 

 **GENJI** : "use your communicators and join the voice channel"

 

 **GENJI** : "i wanna remember this fucking party"

 

 

**[JUNKRAT, ROADHOG, REAPER, SOLDIER: 76, WINSTON, ZENYATTA, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, JESSE MCCREE, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE JOINED THE VOICE CHANNEL bois night]**

 

**MCCREE** : "kay we all here?"

 

 **LÚCIO** : "Old man Torb isn't here"

 

 **REINHARDT** : "he's probably already asleep"

 

 **REINHARDT** : "party pooper"

 

 **76** : "He's always been like that."

 

 **GENJI** : "you right"

 

 **GENJI** : "anyways the plan for tonight bois"

 

 **GENJI** : "drink whatever you want idc"

 

 **GENJI** : "and we're playing never have I ever"

 

 **JUNKRAT** : "FUN"

 

 **ROADHOG** : "No one let Jamison drink."

 

 **JUNKRAT** : "ROADIE W HY"

 

 **ROADHOG** : "Because I know how you'll get."

 

 **JUNKRAT** : "NO FAIR"

 

 **ROADHOG** : "I won't drink either."

 

 **ROADHOG** : "Now it's fair."

 

 **JUNKRAT** : "I LOVE YA HOG"

 

 **GENJI** : "o s hit"

 

 **HANZO** : "More gays, what a surprise."

 

 **MCCREE** : "like you said babe"

 

 **MCCREE** : "a gay mess"

 

 **LÚCIO** : "Wasn't he describing Satya tho"

 

 **HANZO** : "Yes."

 

 **HANZO** : "I hope she's holding up well with all the girls."

 

 **GENJI** : "you right"

 

 **GENJI** : "rip satya"

 

 **REINHARDT** : "rip indeed"

 

 **HANZO** : "Jesse why are you wearing that hideous sweater."

 

 **MCCREE** : "i hate it"

 

 **GENJI** : "you say that yet you wear it every year"

 

 **MCCREE** : "shut up"

 

 **REINHARDT** : "ana and gabe made it for him as a joke"

 

 **REAPER** : " **it's nice to see that it's held up after all these years.** "

 

 **GENJI** : "i mean you were the best at those things"

 

 **MCCREE** : "kay i dunno about yall but it's high time I have a drink"

 

 **REINHARDT** : "looks like the old men beat you to it"

 

 **WINSTON** : "Jack, Gabriel, don't you two think you should slow down on the drinking?"

 

 **REAPER** : " **no.** " 

 

 **GENJI** : "woah what the fuck why is his text bold"

 

 **GENJI** : "i can see it rn cause cool ass cyborg shit"

 

 **REAPER** : " **sombra.** "

 

 **76** : "Why do you have to type like a 12 year old."

 

 **REAPER** : " **cause i want to.** "

 

 **REAPER** : " **i don't go around telling you that you type like an old man what the fuck jack** "

 

 **MCCREE** : "he's right"

 

 **MCCREE** : "jack stop being a dick"

 

 **REINHARDT** : "all of you just be nice to each other damn it"

 

 **REINHARDT** : "its dickcember"

 

 **HANZO** : "Again with this."

 

 **GENJI** : "brother"

 

 **GENJI** : "remember"

 

 **GENJI** : "it's the season of memeing"

 

 **HANZO** : "Fine."

 

 **HANZO** : "Be kind, it's no longer hoevember, it's dickcember now."

 

 **HANZO** : "Stop acting like fucking children."

 

 **HANZO** : "Jesse why did you spit out your drink."

 

 **LÚCIO** : "Holy shit that's going up on twitter"

 

 **MCCREE** : "hearing you fucking meme holy hell"

 

 **MCCREE** : "is this my present"

 

 **ZENYATTA** : "Everything in life can be seen as a present."

 

 **GENJI** : "wise as hell"

 

 **GENJI** : "thank you master"

 

 **ZENYATTA** : "You are welcome."

 

 **GENJI** : "k guys come on get in a circle we're gonna play now"

 

 

**[REAPER AND SOLDIER 76 HAVE EXITED THE VOICE CHANNEL bois night]**

 

**MCCREE** : "20 bucks that they're gonna fuck"

 

 **JUNKRAT** : "DO THE NASTY"

 

 **REINHARDT** : "not even going to bet"

 

 **REINHARDT** : "you're probably right"

 

 **GENJI** : "honestly"

 

 **HANZO** : "How would you put your dick in a ghost though."

 

 **LÚCIO** : "O h my god"

 

 **MCCREE** : "babe"

 

 **MCCREE** : "sweet pea"

 

 **MCCREE** : "pumpkin"

 

 **MCCREE** : "how much have you drunk already"

 

 **HANZO** : "Enough."

 

 **GENJI** : "yup he's already wasted"

 

 **REINHARDT** : "this is going to be interesting"

 

 **ZENYATTA** : "Indeed."

 

 **WINSTON** : "Just make sure that nobody gets hurt during this, please."

 

 **GENJI** : "don't you worry Winston"

 

 **GENJI** : "everything will be a-okay with me in charge"

 

 **HANZO** : "Jesse."

 

 **MCCREE** : "what's up cupcake"

 

 **HANZO** : "I bet you can't handle the Shimada succ."

 

 **GENJI** : "holy shit"

 

 **GENJI** : "everyone put the alcohol away"

 

 **REINHARDT** : "already done"

 

 **MCCREE** : "why am i the one who gets the succ tho"

 

 **LÚCIO** : "Oh shit bois"

 

 **LÚCIO** : "I can see the headline now"

 

 **LÚCIO** : "Jesse McCree, secretly a bottom"

 

 **MCCREE** : "god damn even on boys night yall gotta gang up on me"

 

 **GENJI** : "isn't it obvious he's a bottom tho"

 

 **MCCREE** : "genji for once"

 

 **MCCREE** : "shut the fuck up"

 

 **GENJI** : "ill shut up when im dead"

 

 **HANZO** : "Yes, he's a bottom."

 

 **MCCREE** : "BABE W H Y"

 

 **REINHARDT** : "it is alright, my friend"

 

 **REINHARDT** : "it was pretty obvious"

 

 **MCCREE** : "im gonna crawl under a rock and die"

 

 

**-**

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS JOINED THE VOICE CHANNEL gal pals]**

 

 

 **ANA** : "alright ladies"

 

 **ANA:** "communicators out"

 

 **ANA** : "we remember this night by the transcript only"

 

 

**[D.VA, MERCY, PHARAH, SYMMETRA, S0MBRA, TRACER, WIDOWMAKER, ZARYA, AND MEI-LING ZHOU HAVE JOINED THE VOICE CHANNEL gal pals]**

 

**D.VA** : "fuck yeah"

 

 **PHARAH** : "Mother, what are the plans for tonight?"

 

 **ANA** : "k so we got like 2ish hours till we all meet up to exchange gifts and have fucking drunk karaoke"

 

 **ANA** : "so do whatever you want ladies"

 

 **ANA** : "we've got beer pong set up again this year"

 

 **S0MBRA** : "sick"

 

 **MERCY** : “Just as how I remember it always was like.”

 

 **TRACER** : “Yeah!!”

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : “I’m not completely upset that I’m here.”

 

 **S0MBRA** : “yw spider lady”

 

 **TRACER** : “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

 

 **MEI** : “Lena.”

 

 **TRACER** : “Yeah, love?”

 

 **MEI** : “I see what’s going on here.”

 

 **ZARYA** : “She wants to be with the blue lady.”

 

 **ANA** : “Y O LISTEN UP HERE’S A STORY”

 

 **D.VA** : “its so great to meme in person and not over the chatroom”

 

 **S0MBRA** : “it is”

 

 **S0MBRA** : “its fucking nice to see you guys again”

 

 **S0MBRA** : “and to meet some of you guys for the first time”

 

 **MEI** : “It’s nice to meet you too!!”

 

 **MEI** : “I’m still confused, though. Are we enemies??”

 

 **ZARYA** : “Just do not get in my way, little girl.”

 

 **S0MBRA** : “lmao k”

 

 **ANA** : “holy shit youre drinking a lot satya”

 

 **MERCY** : “Are you okay?”

 

 **D.VA** : “shit dudes is she gonna get wasted before all of us??”

 

 **SYMMETRA** : “You know why I am drinking so much?”

 

 **PHARAH** : “Why?”

 

 **SYMMETRA** : “Because you’re all hot and I am g a y.”

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : “Same.”

 

 **TRACER** : “Me too!!”

 

 **D.VA** : “are all the ladies in overwatch gay holy shit”

 

 **ANA** : “here ive got an idea”

 

 **ANA** : “we all go around the room and say what we are”

 

 **ANA** : “k ill start”

 

 **ANA** : “pan”

 

 **ANA** : “next pls”

 

 **D.VA** : “gay”

 

 **S0MBRA** : “homo”

 

 **MERCY** : “Gay as well.”

 

 **PHARAH** : “Bi.”

 

 **MEI** : “Gay.”

 

 **ZARYA** : “Same.”

 

 **TRACER** : “Gay!”

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : “Ladies.”

 

 **SYMMETRA** : “Wow, you were almost right, Hana.”

 

 **D.VA** : “holy shit”

 

 **ANA** : “gg”

 

 **ANA** : “now that we got that all squared away”

 

 **ANA** : “BEER PONG MY GIRLS”

 

 

**-**

 

 

**[ANA AMARI AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED dickcember]**

 

 

 **ANA** : hows it going over there

 

 **GENJI** : jack and gabe probably went off to fuck

 

 **ANA** : of course

 

 **GENJI** : and jesse and hanzo are drunk as fuck

 

 **GENJI** : its so funny dude

 

 **GENJI** : hanzo outed jesse about being a bottom

 

 **GENJI** : omfg you missed it nana

 

 **ANA** : that’s not a surprise tho

 

 **ANA** : he’s an obvious bottom

 

 **GENJI** : I K R

 

 **GENJI** : anyways

 

 **GENJI** : you ready to get everyone together?

 

 **ANA** : sure

 

 **ANA** : gl wrangling your guys together lmao

 

 **GENJI** : thank

 

 

**[ANA AMARI AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE EXITED dickcember]**

 

**-**

 

**[D.VA, JUNKRAT, MERCY, PHARAH, ROADHOG, SYMMETRA, S0MBRA, TRACER, WIDOWMAKER, WINSTON, ZARYA, ZENYATTA, ANA AMARI, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, GENJI SHIMADA, REINHARDT WILHELM, AND MEI-LING ZHOU HAVE ENTERED THE VOICE CHANNEL dickcember]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : “what where the fuck is hanzo and jesse”

 

 **LÚCIO** : “Pretty sure they went off to fuck ngl”

 

 **D.VA** : “o f course”

 

 **D.VA** : “thirsty ass uncles”

 

 **REINHARDT** : “ana don’t kill them”

 

 **ANA** : “I mean I wont”

 

 **ANA** : “ill just scold them”

 

 **PHARAH** : “Mother, do not do anything irrational.”

 

 **ANA** : “don’t you worry fareeha”

 

 **ANA** : “kay im gonna go yell in the halls now”

 

 **ANA** : “genji, rein”

 

 **ANA** : “you guys let everyone pick their songs and get their presents ready”

 

 **ANA** : “you were all good noodles, and didn’t leave us to go fuck around”

 

 **GENJI** : “k”

 

 **REINHARDT** : “alright”

 

 **ANA** : “JESSE and hanzo you two better come out”

 

 **ANA** : “jack and gabe too fuck”

 

 **ANA** : “smh you guys leaving us”

 

 **ANA** : "you know what's better than fucking"

 

 **ANA** : "KARAOKE BOIS"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope everyone's having a great dickcember so far!!
> 
> shimada succ inspired by my boi Tim while we were playing overwatch together lmao  
> it was wonderful
> 
> but about this chapter  
> overwatch is gay. that is all.  
> and mccree is a god damn bottom, and you'll never convince me otherwise
> 
> mchanzo week starting sunday b l e s s
> 
> hope yall keep having a hella great dickcember  
> dickcember: the conclusion goin up next week!!
> 
> Feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at [my tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	19. dickcember: part 3/3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion of the annual Holiday Party.
> 
> Gift giving is an absolute fucking mess.

**[ANA AMARI HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 **GENJI** : "k guys Ana will be back in a bit"

  
**GENJI** : "so who's singing what"

  
**D.VA** : "OUR GROUP FIRST"

  
**GENJI** : "fuck yeah dude"

  
**GENJI** : "it's me, you, and frog boi right"

  
**S0MBRA** : "w ow i feel super included"

  
**D.VA** : "smh genji"

  
**GENJI** : "shhhhhh"

  
**GENJI** : "oh great Sombra please forgive me"

  
**LÚCIO** : "wait what were we singing again"

  
**D.VA** : "W O W"

  
**D.VA** : "gg lúcio"

  
**GENJI** : "fuck we go later then"

  
**REINHARDT** : "i'd say our group but ana is trying to get everyone else"

  
**REINHARDT** : "and jack is probably getting fucked right now"

  
**PHARAH** : "Reinhardt, why."

  
**REINHARDT** : "it's the truth"

  
**GENJI** : "come on people who else was gonna sing"

  
**S0MBRA** : "shit dude"

  
**S0MBRA** : "me, spider lady, and edge are gonna sing"

  
**WIDOWMAKER** : "Unfortunately, yes."

  
**GENJI** : "what song tho"

  
**S0MBRA** : "we are number one"

  
**TRACER** : "Isn't that from LazyTown?"

  
**D.VA** : "H OLY SHIT LENA YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT"

  
**TRACER** : "Of course! I know memes."

  
**MEI** : "I think everyone in Overwatch knows memes."

  
**ZARYA** : "I thought Overwatch was a meme."

  
**D.VA** : "HOLY SHIT"

  
**REINHARDT** : "hana please don't die"

  
**S0MBRA** : "i need my cute girlfriend fuck dude"

  
**S0MBRA** : "rule 4"

  
**WIDOWMAKER** : "Please don't make that a thing here too."

  
**TRACER** : "What's rule 4?"

  
**S0MBRA** : "no death"

  
**MERCY** : "I can get on board with that rule."

  
**PHARAH** : "What are the other rules?"

  
**S0MBRA** : "don't know and don't care"

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS RE-ENTERED THE VOICE CHANNEL dickcember]**

 

 

 **ANA** : "boys you better fucking join the voice channel again"

  
**ANA** : "i swear i will jump out of this window if you don't join"

 

 

**[REAPER, SOLDIER: 76, JESSE MCCREE, AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED THE VOICE CHANNEL dickcember]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : "i actually wanna crawl in a hole and die"

 

 **REAPER** : " **buck up, mijo.** "

 

 **MCCREE** : "of course you have no fucking shame"

  
**MCCREE** : "literally being dragged from jack"

  
**MCCREE** : "fuck"

  
**D.VA** : "h a that's what you were trying to do"

  
**MERCY** : "Are you all drunk? Already?"

  
**MCCREE** : "lighten up angie"

  
**HANZO** : "I am not drunk."

  
**GENJI** : "ive never heard more bullshit than that"

  
**76** : "Can we just exchange gifts and leave?"

  
**ANA** : "no."

  
**PHARAH** : "Mother, what exactly are the plans for tonight?"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "Gift exchange will occur before karaoke."

  
**S0MBRA** : "nice"

  
**SYMMETRA** : "You all have your gifts, correct?"

  
**MEI** : "I know all the ladies do."

  
**ANA** : "yup"

  
**GENJI** : "fuck"

  
**GENJI** : "please tell me you all have your gifts"

  
**MCCREE** : "of course"

  
**MCCREE** : "im not a complete idiot"

  
**GENJI** : "okay jesse"

  
**GENJI** : "o k a y"

  
**HANZO** : "Genji, shut up. We both have our presents."

  
**GENJI** : "gg"

  
**GENJI** : "jack, gabriel please tell me you have yours"

  
**REAPER** : " **i already gave him my present.** "

  
**D.VA** : "ghost dick nice"

 

 **GENJI** : "you didn't even get jack what the fuck"

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : "I am surrounded by idiots."

  
**HANZO** : "You get used to it after a while."

  
**SYMMETRA** : "So, whoever would like to give their present first, please feel free to volunteer."

  
**MCCREE** : "M E"

  
**REAPER** : " **oh boy.** "

  
**S0MBRA** : "dios, how much has he sad to drink"

  
**GENJI** : "two shots max"

  
**S0MBRA** : "W HAT A FUCKING LIGHT WEIGHT"

  
**S0MBRA** : "holy shit"

  
**MCCREE** : "shut the fuck up"

  
**MCCREE** : "i handle my liquor perfectly fine missy"

  
**S0MBRA** : "whatever you say vaquero"

  
**ANA** : "just give your present"

  
**MCCREE** : "gotcha"

  
**MCCREE** : "kay i got hanzo so here babe"

  
**MCCREE** : "enjoy"

  
**D.VA** : "i call bullshit there's no way he got hanzo without switching"

  
**MCCREE** : "shhhhh let him open it"

  
**HANZO** : "A red hair ribbon."

  
**MCCREE** : "yup so we can match"

  
**D.VA** : "g a y"

  
**MEI** : "I think it's cute!"

  
**PHARAH** : "Aw, look at Jesse getting all soft."

  
**MCCREE** : "i swear fareeha i will beat you up"

  
**ANA** : "and ill beat you up"

  
**MCCREE** : "please no"

  
**HANZO** : "Jesse, I love it. Thank you."

  
**MCCREE** : "you're welcome sweetheart"

  
**D.VA** : "and they're kissing"

  
**ANA** : "shhh, let them have a moment"

  
**GENJI** : "moment has been had"

  
**GENJI** : "stop it, we don't wanna see you fuck right in front of us"

  
**JUNKRAT** : "NASTY"

  
**ROADHOG** : "Jamison, be nice."

  
**JUNKRAT** : "KAY"

  
**HANZO** : "I will give my present next. It's for Jesse."

  
**S0MBRA** : "also bullshit"

  
**REINHARDT** : "he was a part of organizing the gift giving"

  
**REINHARDT** : "why wouldn't he pull a few strings around to get his boyfriend something"

  
**ANA** : "you right"

  
**HANZO** : "Enjoy, Jesse."

  
**MCCREE** : "gamf"

  
**MCCREE** : "hanzo shimada did you just get me a joke present"

  
**GENJI** : "he's laughing holy shit yep he's lost it"

  
**GENJI** : "im never letting him have alcohol again"

  
**HANZO** : "Maybe."

  
**MCCREE** : "please tell me it stands for gay ass mother fucker"

  
**MERCY** : "There's the next chatroom name."

  
**ANA** : "perfect"

  
**HANZO** : "Yes."

  
**MCCREE** : "holy shit"

  
**MCCREE** : "i love it"

  
**GENJI** : "that's actually genius holy crap"

  
**ZENYATTA** : "A great gift."

  
**HANZO** : "I'm glad you like it."

  
**MCCREE** : "thanks pumpkin"

  
**HANZO** : "You are welcome."

  
**MEI** : "I helped him pick it out."

  
**SYMMETRA** : "As did I."

  
**ANA** : "gg guys"

  
**D.VA** : "im going next"

  
**D.VA** : "k i got grandpa"

  
**D.VA** : "so here you go"

  
**REINHARDT** : "alright it's a hat"

  
**REINHARDT** : "that says foxy grandpa"

  
**REINHARDT** : "it's perfect"

  
**PHARAH** : "Another spongebob reference?"

  
**MCCREE** : "we basically just speak in spongebob references what the fuck"

  
**HANZO** : "You all just speak in memes."

  
**JUNKRAT** : "HE'S RIGHT"

  
**ROADHOG** : "Yeah."

  
**S0MBRA** : "i come here thinking 'oh yeah gonna get so much info from this chat room with ALL overwatch members' but no it's all fucking memes"

  
**D.VA** : "we met through this memefuckery tho"

  
**S0MBRA** : "great thing that came out of it"

  
**S0MBRA** : "so with that, ill give my gift next"

  
**S0MBRA** : "yeah, I got hana what a huge shock oh my goodness"

  
**ZARYA** : "A hacker changing results, such a surprise."

  
**MEI** : "A complete shock."

  
**S0MBRA** : "here you go my conejito"

  
**D.VA** : "earrings that look like little sugar skulls"

  
**D.VA** : "C U T E"

  
**D.VA** : "thank you sombra!!"

  
**S0MBRA** : "you're welcome lmao"

  
**S0MBRA** : "glad you like them"

  
**LÚCIO** : "aw little kiss on the cheek"

  
**GENJI** : "gay"

  
**TRACER** : "I'll go next!"

  
**TRACER** : "I got Winston, so here you go big guy! Hope you like it."

  
**WINSTON** : "Peanut butter."

  
**WINSTON** : "Thank you, Lena. This is always a welcomed gift."

  
**TRACER** : "No problem!"

  
**LÚCIO** : "Kay, I'll go now"

  
**LÚCIO** : "I got Genji"

  
**D.VA** : "nice"

  
**LÚCIO** : "So, enjoy my roboi"

  
**GENJI** : "R OLLERBLADES FUCK YES"

  
**LÚCIO** : "I'll teach you how to skate too"

  
**GENJI** : "shit thank you so much lúcio"

  
**GENJI** : "this is awesome"

  
**LÚCIO** : "No prob, enjoy"

  
**WIDOWMAKER** : "I'll get mine over with."

  
**WIDOWMAKER** : "Lena, for you."

  
**TRACER** : "Woah, neon nail polish. It's awful pretty!"

  
**S0MBRA** : "shit spidey, why don't you ever get me any gifts?"

  
**REAPER** : "she should give you a bullet to the head."

  
**S0MBRA** : "ouch"

 

 **MCCREE** : "fucking rip"

  
**TRACER** : "Thanks! This is gonna look killer with what I usually wear."

  
**WIDOWMAKER** : "De rien."

  
**ANA** : "ima go next"

  
**ANA** : "shit bois i got jack"

  
**ANA** : "so here you go"

  
**ANA** : "since your the 'dad' of overwatch"

  
**76** : "A golf club."

  
**ANA** : "you're welcome"

  
**ANA** : "but wait there's more"

  
**ANA** : "enjoy"

  
**76** : "And a mini barbecue."

  
**76** : "Why do you always take jokes so far."

  
**ANA** : "how long have you known me jack"

  
**ANA** : "you should have known this was coming"

  
**REINHARDT** : "honestly"

  
**REAPER** : " **you should have known.** "

  
**ANA** : "see the gangs got my back"

  
**ANA** : "ily guys"

  
**GENJI** : "ill go now my dudes"

  
**GENJI** : "Mei my girl"

  
**GENJI** : "so I know you have that little robot"

  
**GENJI** : "here's my present"

  
**MEI** : "A little hat for Snowball! It's so cute!"

  
**GENJI** : "ya ana taught me how to knit"

  
**ANA** : "yw"

  
**MEI** : "I love it! Thank you very much, Genji."  
GENJI: "no problem lmao"

 

 

**[ATHENA HAS JOINED THE VOICE CHANNEL dickcember]**

 

 

 **ATHENA** : "Attention Overwatch agents, there is an unknown intruder on grounds. This is not a drill, I repeat; this is not a drill."

  
**ANA** : "FUCKING"

  
**ANA** : "WE DIDNT EVEN GET TO KARAOKE"

  
**ANA** : "ALL OUR PARTIES GET INTERRUPTED"

  
**ANA** : "FIRST HALLOWEEN WITH SOMBRA NOW THIS"

  
**ANA** : "shit"

  
**WINSTON** : "Everyone, disconnect immediately and prepare to engage. We don't know what we're dealing with yet."

  
**MCCREE** : "aw fuck im not sober enough to deal with this shit"

  
**HANZO** : "Neither am I, but I'm not complaining. Let's move, cowboy."

  
**MERCY** : "Everyone suit up, and meet in the common area in 5 minutes."

  
**76** : "I copy."

  
**D.VA** : "k"

  
**S0MBRA** : "fuck I guess that means us too gang"

  
**REAPER** : " **i don't even know.** "

  
**GENJI** : "everyone move, let's go bois"

 

 

**[ATHENA, D.VA, JUNKRAT, MERCY, PHARAH, REAPER, ROADHOG, SOLDIER: 76, SYMMETRA, S0MBRA, TRACER, WIDOWMAKER, WINSTON, ZARYA, ZENYATTA, ANA AMARI, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, HANZO SHIMADA, REINHARDT WILHELM, AND MEI-LING ZHOU HAVE ENTERED THE VOICE CHANNEL dickcember]**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy holidays yall!! hope you guys are having a great time
> 
> dude im so happy, Tracer is canonically a lesbian. we have such a cool hero representing us now, and i honestly couldn't be happier
> 
> no future widowtracer here anymore lmao
> 
> also thank you blizzard for hipster hanzo, and mccree in the bar  
> he's a lightweight s mh 
> 
> about this chapter, oh boy will they ever get through a party completely? probably not  
> new chapter next week!
> 
> happy dickcember
> 
> Translation notes: (feel free to correct me)  
> \- mijo : boy  
> \- dios : god  
> \- vaquero : cowboy  
> \- conejito : bunny  
> \- De rien. : You're welcome.
> 
>    
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	20. The Meme Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who's the real meme team?

**[D.VA, ANA AMARI, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED dickcember]**

 

 

 **ANA** : why is this still the chat name

  
**ANA** : it's new years bois

  
**GENJI** : because hanzo changed it

  
**GENJI** : the one time he memed

  
**D.VA** : it was a christmas miracle

  
**LÚCIO** : W ow hana did you just assume everyone here celebrated christmas

  
**D.VA** : shhhhhh

  
**ANA** : wait guys

  
**ANA** : we're the only ones here

  
**GENJI** : gasp

  
**GENJI** : it's the meme bois

  
**LÚCIO** : You right

  
**D.VA** : T IME TO FUCK SHIT UP MY GUYS

 

 

**[D.VA HAS CHANGED THE CHAT NAME TO overmeme]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : did i do good

  
**GENJI** : let the grand memer decide

  
**ANA** : a good attempt

  
**ANA** : but could be better

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS CHANGED THE CHAT NAME TO this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **LÚCIO** : Accurate

  
**ANA** : yes this one stays

  
**GENJI** : nice

  
**D.VA** : n O FAIR

  
**D.VA** : MINE WAS GOOD

  
**GENJI** : ha not good enough

  
**LÚCIO** : Rip hana

  
**D.VA** : :((

  
**D.VA** : fuck

  
**ANA** : one day youll learn don't worry my child

  
**D.VA** : i thought i was grandchild

  
**ANA** : fuck you're right

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : nice name

  
**GENJI** : thanks cowb oi

  
**MCCREE** : never do that again

  
**ANA** : god dammit jesse

  
**ANA** : it was just the meme crew here

  
**MCCREE** : w o w

  
**MCCREE** : how come im not a part of the meme crew

  
**D.VA** : cause we all make fun of you

  
**LÚCIO** : ^

  
**MCCREE** : yall are bullies

  
**MCCREE** : i was just gonna come here to say happy new year to everyone

  
**MCCREE** : and honestly im feeling so attacked rn

  
**ANA** : fine you can be on the meme team

  
**MCCREE** : thank

  
**ANA** : wait how could we forgot one of the biggest parts of the meme team

  
**ANA** : _**@REINHARDT**_

  
**GENJI** : smh ana how could you forget

  
**ANA** : shut your little ninja ass up

  
**ANA** : i f orgot

  
**LÚCIO** : Rip grandpa

 

 

**[REINHARDT WILHELM HAS ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **REINHARDT** : my friends

  
**REINHARDT** : happy new year

  
**ANA** : lmao you too B

  
**REINHARDT** : thanks B

  
**GENJI** : memes

  
**D.VA** : is that what the cool kids with the maymay lingo call a d a nk meme

  
**ANA** : yes exactly

  
**ANA** : im the coolest kid i should know

  
**LÚCIO** : Tbh

  
**MCCREE** : p fff kid

  
**GENJI** : we're all kids now

  
**ANA** : D I D YOU JUST

 

 

**[REINHARDT WILHELM HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: we're all kids now (GENJI SHIMADA)]**

 

 

 **ANA** : making fun of jack is just as good as making fun of jesse

  
**REINHARDT** : ^

  
**LÚCIO** : Yo hana remember that one time that 76 was like "my neck, ugh my back"

  
**GENJI** : holy shit please tell me you did it

  
**D.VA** : M Y PUSSY AND MY CRACK

  
**MCCREE** : good meme

  
**REINHARDT** : wait guys

  
**REINHARDT** : so who's the official meme team

  
**ANA** : all of us here

  
**LÚCIO** : Lena too

  
**ANA** : you right

  
**ANA** : rip she isn't here rn

  
**MCCREE** : oh yeah she's out with emily

  
**D.VA** : D UDE

  
**D.VA** : i still can't believe the whole panic at the holiday party

  
**D.VA** : was cause emily showed up to surprise her

  
**REINHARDT** : i thought it was very sweet

  
**ANA** : and gay

  
**GENJI** : isn't that a typical day in overwatch

  
**LÚCIO** : Honestly

  
**ANA** : that emily is very nice

  
**ANA** : i approve

  
**D.VA** : they're both cute as fuck together

  
**GENJI** : tbh

  
**LÚCIO** : Real happy for both of them

  
**MCCREE** : i think we all are

  
**REINHARDT** : true

  
**ANA** : lmao

  
**ANA** : wait so back to meme team

  
**ANA** : me, and rein, hana, genji, lúcio, lena, jesse

  
**GENJI** : hasn't faeeha been memeing recently too

  
**ANA** : Y E S SHE HAS

  
**ANA** : im so proud of my girl :')

  
**D.VA** : k is that it cause im making a meme team role

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : did I hear

  
**S0MBRA** : M E M E

  
**D.VA** : yes you will be in the role

  
**ANA** : how could we forget smh

  
**D.VA** : s orry sombra

  
**S0MBRA** : it's all good babe lmao

  
**D.VA** : thank

  
**ANA** : so now the list is

  
**ANA** : me, and rein, hana, genji, lúcio, lena, jesse , fareeha, and sombra

  
**REINHARDT** : i think that's it

  
**S0MBRA** : what about tiddy man

  
**GENJI** : when he memes it's rare

  
**ANA** : but great

  
**MCCREE** : **_@HANZO_**

  
**GENJI** : jesse why

  
**GENJI** : now he's just gonna use this to judge us

  
**D.VA** : dude he has like a whole judging clique

  
**LÚCIO** : ^

  
**LÚCIO** : Him, Satya, and blue lady

  
**MCCREE** : l mao yall didn't know

  
**ANA** : i was not aware of this

  
**ANA** : if I catch them talking shit about the meme team they better catch these hands

 

 

**[REINHARDT WILHELM HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: if I catch them talking shit about the meme team they better catch these hands (ANA AMARI)]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : gg

  
**MCCREE** : why are we bringing the gg back again

  
**ANA** : hmm shall i revisit an old one

  
**D.VA** : C AN I SAY IT

  
**REINHARDT** : four of us in succession go

  
**ANA** : the

  
**GENJI** : fucks

  
**D.VA** : a

  
**LÚCIO** : dank

  
**ANA** : dank

  
**S0MBRA** : close enough

  
**MCCREE** : I S WEAR

  
**MCCREE** : EVERY SINGLE TIME WE MOVE ON

  
**MCCREE** : YALL ARE JUST LIKE "remember when jesse fucked up let's bring that back it's a good meme"

  
**MCCREE** : just put it on my epitaph at this point

  
**GENJI** : g ood plan cowboi gg

  
**MCCREE** : cause of death: memeing

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: cause of death: memeing (JESSE MCCREE)]**

 

 

 **ANA** : actually don't die tho pls

  
**REINHARDT** : ^

  
**D.VA** : i need my gayest uncle of the west

  
**LÚCIO** : Same

  
**S0MBRA** : i need my somewhat cooler bro

  
**MCCREE** : k ay

 

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA HAS ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **HANZO** : I thought this place would be peaceful because of the new year.

  
**HANZO** : But no, we can't even have one day without memeing.

  
**GENJI** : simple

  
**GENJI** : it wouldn't be overwatch without the memeing

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: it wouldn't be overwatch without the memeing (GENJI SHIMADA)]**

 

 

 **HANZO** : I'm even afraid to look at the pinned messages.

  
**MCCREE** : same

  
**MCCREE** : even tho im like 50% of it

  
**GENJI** : B O I I BET I GOT MORE PINNED MORE THAN YOU

  
**D.VA** : h oly shit is this gonna be poker all over again

  
**HANZO** : Probably.

  
**D.VA** : y o this time can you and me can stream it and we can just show us judging them

  
**D.VA** : pls

  
**HANZO** : Fine.

  
**MCCREE** : babe pls no

  
**MCCREE** : pumpkin

  
**MCCREE** : sweetheart

  
**ANA** : enough pet names holy crap

  
**REINHARDT** : lmao

  
**GENJI** : homosexual

  
**S0MBRA** : i mean

  
**S0MBRA** : look at the chat name

  
**MCCREE** : he likes it shhhh

  
**D.VA** : won't believe it till he says it

  
**LÚCIO** : ^

  
**MCCREE** : w o w

  
**HANZO** : Do I really have to.

  
**ANA** : yes

  
**GENJI** : ya

  
**HANZO** : Fine.

  
**HANZO** : I enjoy all the pet names.

  
**S0MBRA** : wow

  
**S0MBRA** : cute

  
**D.VA** : honestly

  
**REINHARDT** : very sweet

  
**ANA** : chat name

  
**LÚCIO** : l mao

  
**GENJI** : we're getting away from the point tho

  
**GENJI** : i got more pinned messages than you jesse

  
**ANA** : i have a proposition

  
**MCCREE** : shoot

  
**ANA** : after lunch

  
**ANA** : all of us together

  
**ANA** : we go through it and count who has the most

  
**D.VA** : what does the loser have to do

  
**ANA** : loser has cooking duty for a week

  
**ANA** : only in that apron we bought that no one uses

  
**REINHARDT** : the one that says daddy chef

  
**ANA** : yes

  
**LÚCIO** : Omfg who even bought it

  
**D.VA** : it just randomly showed up in the kitchen one day

  
**MCCREE** : they call me

  
**MCCREE** : mcdaddy

  
**GENJI** : that's what hanzo calls you

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: mcdaddy (JESSE MCCREE)]**

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: that's what hanzo calls you (GENJI SHIMADA)]**

 

 

 **LÚCIO** : Kinky

  
**D.VA** : guys

  
**D.VA** : let's just all go have lunch so then we can do more memeing

  
**ANA** : me and rein will cook for all you kiddies

  
**REINHARDT** : a delicious meal

  
**GENJI** : nice

  
**HANZO** : Jesse, help me set the table please.

  
**MCCREE** : aight cupcake

  
**LÚCIO** : See you guys in a bit

  
**D.VA** : ya boi

  
**S0MBRA** : b oop

 

 

**[D.VA, S0MBRA, ANA AMARI, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE EXITED this is homosexual]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y o new chapter finally lmao  
> late, but happy new year yall
> 
> sorry this chapter was late, I was struggling creatively these past few weeks but it's all good now  
> hopefully will keep with the weekly updates
> 
> and holy shit this has gotten so many hits and kudos and im still in shock??  
> 20 chapters into this mess  
> thank you so much for reading so far
> 
> anyway about this chapter  
> yes this is the meme team  
> memeing hanzo is good. memeing hipster hanzo is even better 
> 
> making fun of mccree is fun, i love him
> 
> B UT B OI IM STILL SO HAPPY ABOUT TRACER
> 
> hope you've enjoyed this dose of gay memeing : ')
> 
>  
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	21. The Pinned Debate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang goes through the pins to see who's the real pinned message master

**[D.VA, S0MBRA, ANA AMARI, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **ANA** : come on losers we're doing this shit through the chatroom

 

 **D.VA** : loser vs loser

 

 **S0MBRA** : homo vs homo

  
**GENJI** : wow im bi excuse you

  
**GENJI** : so its homo vs somewhat homo

  
**MCCREE** : im the homo

  
**LÚCIO** : Wait so we're just gonna go through all the pins

  
**REINHARDT** : a trip down memory lane

  
**ANA** : all pins since revive lets go minus any possible new ones from today

  
**ANA** : anyone read them idc

  
**HANZO** : First pin was Jesse's "i was a MAN"

  
**GENJI** : of course it's one of his fuck ups

  
**S0MBRA** : lmao rip

  
**HANZO** : Second is also Jesse.

  
**HANZO** : "we really missed you ma."

  
**ANA** : y O WHEN I CAME BACK

  
**ANA** : nice

  
**REINHARDT** : smh still disappointed you never told me you were alive

  
**ANA** : sorry B

  
**REINHARDT** : glad you're okay B

  
**D.VA** : minus the eye lmao

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: minus the eye lmao (D.VA)]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : nice

 

 **LÚCIO** : O h man next pin is the fucks a dank

  
**ANA** : chat wide meme are you proud of yourself jesse

  
**MCCREE** : NO

  
**MCCREE** : it haunts me

  
**MCCREE** : right when i think yall are done with it N OOOO

  
**MCCREE** : lets bring back what jesse had to say that one time

  
**MCCREE** : i d idnt know what it meant okay

  
**S0MBRA** : lmao salty

  
**D.VA** : rip guncle

  
**GENJI** : gay + uncle?

  
**D.VA** : THATS MY ROBOI RIGHT THERE

  
**D.VA** : GETTING MY JOKES

  
**D.VA** : gg genji

  
**S0MBRA** : yo the next pin is hanzo saying lol

  
**ANA** : nice

  
**HANZO** : Why.

  
**GENJI** : h a i pinned it

  
**HANZO** : Of course you did.

  
**ANA** : back when we thought you had no sense of humor

  
**ANA** : and look at you now

  
**ANA** : a member of the meme team

  
**REINHARDT** : don't you mean

  
**D.VA** : gramps pls no not again

  
**D.VA** : ill actually jump this time

  
**REINHARDT** : memeber

  
**S0MBRA** : im jumping too

  
**GENJI** : fuck the next one is jesse too

  
**GENJI** : "fuck what time is it"

  
**LÚCIO** : This man with his time smh

  
**MCCREE** : why am i just a meme

  
**D.VA** : at least you're a funny meme

  
**D.VA** : not those stupid ones that aren't even funny

  
**S0MBRA** : you right

  
**S0MBRA** : he's like those memes that resurface randomly and are still funny

  
**ANA** : T B H

  
**HANZO** : He's not a meme.

  
**GENJI** : you're right

  
**GENJI** : he's like 3 memes

  
**MCCREE** : at least im good at being a meme

  
**GENJI** : a re you saying im not good at being a meme cowboy

  
**MCCREE** : i mean

  
**MCCREE** : 4/5 pins so far have been me

  
**MCCREE** : and none of you

  
**GENJI** : s hhh

  
**GENJI** : mine will come just be patient

  
**HANZO** : I doubt it.

  
**GENJI** : W OW THANKS BROTHER

  
**S0MBRA** : lmao rip

  
**S0MBRA** : next pin is hanzo sending cowboi a heart

  
**ANA** : aww

  
**LÚCIO** : Cute

  
**GENJI** : idc about this romance i need to see my memes

  
**D.VA** : next pin is flying mom

  
**D.VA** : "Mother, you were right. Overwatch is really gay."

  
**ANA** : mother knows best

  
**REINHARDT** : next is Hana with uncle more like uncool

  
**MCCREE** : b u l l y

  
**D.VA** : :^)

  
**D.VA** : ily uncle

  
**MCCREE** : ily too

  
**MCCREE** : but you're still an asshole

  
**D.VA** : c:

  
**GENJI** : next is hanzo again

  
**GENJI** : ffs where are mine

  
**GENJI** : this ones the gay mess one

  
**REINHARDT** : good meme

  
**ANA** : why are all the couples in overwatch memers

  
**ANA** : the only normalish ones are Mei and aleksandra

  
**ANA** : not even angie and fareeha so much

  
**ANA** : they're coming to the dark side

  
**HANZO** : You even converted me.

  
**HANZO** : I'm disgusted.

  
**MCCREE** : one of us

  
**S0MBRA** : yo next pin is pharah again

  
**S0MBRA** : dios mio 

  
**S0MBRA** : i doubt this ninja boi even has any pins

  
**GENJI** : ill fight you

  
**D.VA** : w o w

  
**D.VA** : ill defend my girl

  
**D.VA** : 소년을 광장 

  
**GENJI** : N OT FAIR

  
**GENJI** : you have a mech

  
**D.VA** : idc

  
**GENJI** : i do tho

  
**S0MBRA** : boi im about to hack you and make you beat yourself up

  
**GENJI** : not again

  
**GENJI** : please

  
**GENJI** : someone help me

  
**MCCREE** : no

  
**HANZO** : No.

  
**LÚCIO** : Lmao I'll help

  
**LÚCIO** : Speed boost

  
**LÚCIO** : Fast ninja

  
**GENJI** : bless

  
**GENJI** : thank you

  
**MCCREE** : when are yall gonna fuck

  
**GENJI** : jesse

  
**GENJI** : i hate to break it to you but

  
**GENJI** : i have no dick

  
**ANA** : W H A T

  
**ANA** : I THOUGHT YOU HAD A LIGHT UP DICK OR SOME SHIT

  
**REINHARDT** : ^ same

  
**D.VA** : build a dick

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: build a dick (D.VA)]**

 

 

 **GENJI:** i wish

 **  
GENJI** : but away from my nonexistent dick

  
**GENJI** : next pin is jesse again

  
**GENJI** : mckms

  
**MCCREE** : h a

  
**GENJI** : "what time is it"

  
**S0MBRA** : dumb nugget

  
**ANA** : all these time memes

  
**ANA** : good

  
**D.VA** : Y O NEXT ONE IS ME DURING THE HALLOWEEN PARTY

  
**D.VA** : "yall should enjoy it :^)"

  
**MCCREE** : i was so proud

  
**MCCREE** : but no it was only for the meme

  
**S0MBRA** : DO IT FOR THE MEME

  
**ANA** : this entire chatroom

  
**REINHARDT** : next is another good one

  
**REINHARDT** : ana's "can't we just replace @everyone with @gay"

  
**ANA** : yo i actually made it happen

  
**ANA** : made that the role name

  
**LÚCIO** : The best meme

  
**ANA** : yw

  
**S0MBRA** : next is hana trying to be mccree again

  
**S0MBRA** : " ** _@gay_** HOWDY Y'ALL I'M MCCREE THE GAYEST COWBOY THIS SIDE OF THE RIO GRANDE"

  
**MCCREE** : accurate

  
**D.VA** : we need a tier list of homo

  
**ANA** : man that'd be tough

  
**REINHARDT** : tbh

  
**GENJI** : E VEN ZEN HAS A PIN AND I DONT YET

  
**LÚCIO** : Rip

  
**MCCREE** : h a

  
**MCCREE** : loser

  
**GENJI** : you're the one calling me loser

  
**GENJI** : b o i

  
**GENJI** : you're an actual cowboy

  
**GENJI** : in the year 2076

  
**HANZO** : Leave him alone.

  
**ANA** : gotta defend the bf

  
**MCCREE** : thanks pumpkin

  
**HANZO** : You're welcome, Jesse.

  
**ANA** : next is fareeha saying meibe

  
**REINHARDT** : proud

  
**REINHARDT** : proud of myself for making that too

  
**D.VA** : gg

  
**MCCREE** : when are we gonna let that die

  
**LÚCIO** : Ggs never die

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: Ggs never die (LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS)]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : a nother jesse pin

  
**GENJI** : "im a god damn gay cowboy"

  
**S0MBRA** : oh man I remember that

  
**S0MBRA** : it was just you and me in the chatroom

  
**MCCREE** : and we pissed off reyes

  
**MCCREE** : fun times

  
**ANA** : next one is "the fucks a yiff"

  
**D.VA** : tbh these are like those memes that resurface every once in a while but are always as funny

  
**S0MBRA** : yo but the fucks a dank and the fucks a yiff is like those ones with you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about

  
**ANA** : true

  
**HANZO** : Here.

  
**HANZO** : Keep in mind I did it on my phone so the quality is garbage.

  
**HANZO** : [whyamidoingthis.jpeg](https://www.dropbox.com/s/ecxoalml56bsjaq/whyamidoingthis.jpeg.png?dl=0)

  
**ANA** : O H MY GOD

  
**D.VA** : pissing

  
**GENJI** : ive never been more proud in my life

  
**GENJI** : you're making memes now

  
**MCCREE** : holy shit

  
**HANZO** : I hate myself.

  
**S0MBRA** : why tho this is a fucking top notch meme

  
**D.VA** : 삼촌 

  
**D.VA** : gg

  
**ANA** : i don't even want to go through all the pins now

  
**ANA** : idc hanzo wins

  
**D.VA** : i cant believe hanzo has won overwatch

  
**GENJI** : WHAT THE FUCK GUYS THE NEXT PIN IS MINE

  
**REINHARDT** : we have to get a cake to celebrate this day

  
**REINHARDT** : hanzo's first homemade meme

  
**HANZO** : I'm getting my hair cut soon so can we do this after.

  
**ANA** : yeah boi

  
**MCCREE** : what kind of cake babe

  
**HANZO** : You know what I like.

  
**D.VA** : i didn't know the bakery sold mccree's dick

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: i didn't know the bakery sold mccree's dick (D.VA)]**

 

 

 **HANZO** : Hana why.

  
**HANZO** : I give you a meme and this is what you do.

  
**D.VA** : :')

  
**LÚCIO** : So we're done with the pins?

  
**GENJI** : here ill condense it

  
**GENJI** : 7 for me

  
**GENJI** : oh man ninja nudes was a good one

  
**GENJI** : also "did i make it in time to make fun of jesse"

  
**GENJI** : robo dab

  
**D.VA** : D A B

  
**GENJI** : making fun of soldier

  
**GENJI** : 4 for cowboy

  
**GENJI** : 1 for ana

  
**ANA** : B ETTER CATCH THESE HANDS

  
**ANA** : but this all doesn't matter cause hanzo wins

  
**REINHARDT** : very proud

  
**S0MBRA** : wanted cowbro to win but this is good enough gg

  
**HANZO** : Thank you.

  
**ANA** : now

  
**ANA** : me and jesse will get the cake

  
**ANA** : meme team here decorates idc

  
**ANA** : and hanzo go get your hair cut boi

  
**LÚCIO** : Sounds like a plan

  
**D.VA** : aight

  
**D.VA** : MEME TEAM DISPERSE

  
**MCCREE** : later yall

  
**ANA** : meme

 

 

**[D.VA, S0MBRA, ANA AMARI, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE EXITED this is homosexual]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hipster hanzo incoming 
> 
> but yo i love memeing hanzo so much  
> just love hanzo in general tbh 
> 
> this chapter was just meme overdrive
> 
> gonna update randomly now unfortunately  
> shooting for at least every other week but man schools killing me 
> 
> Translation notes:  
> \- dios mio : my god  
> \- 소년을 광장 : square up boy  
> \- 삼촌 : uncle
> 
>  
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	22. hipster hanzo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why does Hanzo look like an art student.

**[SYMMETRA, WIDOWMAKER, AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **SYMMETRA** : A shame I was not here for the pinned debate.

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : It seemed quite amusing.

 

 **HANZO** : It was.

 

 **HANZO** : It was nice going through everything the group has been through so far. 

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : I'm not even a part of Overwatch. 

 

 **SYMMETRA** : You've been on base for a month now, I do not think it matters very much.

 

 **HANZO** : I almost forgot you work for the enemy.

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : I do work there, but unfortunately they are all very boring people.

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : I'd rather spend my time here.

 

 **SYMMETRA** : Even though you may be ordered to murder us one day?

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : Talon is fine with you two.

 

 **HANZO** : Why.

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : I'm not so sure myself. 

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : Maybe they don't see you as a threat.

 

 **SYMMETRA** : If anything we're the ones who would be the biggest threat.

 

 **SYMMETRA** : Minus us, the group is just a bunch of idiots who cannot type correctly.

 

 **HANZO** : It annoys you too?

 

 **SYMMETRA** : It annoys me to no end.

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : Same.

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : And everyone using the ^.

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : What does it mean. 

 

 **HANZO** : You use it to agree or say the same thing as the message above it. 

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : Ah.

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : Thank you.

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **ANA** : w o w

 

 **ANA** : we just choose to not type correctly 

 

 **ANA** : idk dude

 

 **ANA** : everyone types different 

 

 **ANA** : i could ask you guys why you type like you're always writing a college essay 

 

 **SYMMETRA** : Because it is proper.

 

 **ANA** : pfff

 

 **ANA** : i stopped being proper once I hit 40

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : We can all tell.

 

 **ANA** : now i just meme and shoot people

 

 **ANA** : im living the life 

 

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: now i just meme and shoot people (ANA AMARI)]**

 

 

 **ANA** : nice

 

 **ANA** : also hanzo are you on your way back 

 

 **HANZO** : I will be there in an hour.

 

 **ANA** : k

 

 **ANA** : cause jesse and i are back 

 

 **ANA** : and the others are decorating 

 

 **ANA** : e xcept for you two

 

 **SYMMETRA** : I'm currently occupied doing something more important.

 

 **ANA** : what being in the chatroom 

 

 **ANA** : missy you get yourself in the kitchen right now 

 

 **SYMMETRA** : That may work on the others, but not on me.

 

 **ANA** : ill sleep dart you

 

 **SYMMETRA** : Fine.

 

 **SYMMETRA** : Hanzo, I will see you soon. 

 

 

**[SYMMETRA HAS EXITED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **ANA** : you too blue

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : It is very funny that you think I would help.

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : I am not even a part of Overwatch, why would I help.

 

 **ANA** : oh i don't know

 

 **ANA** : maybe as a thanks of letting your murdering ass stay here 

 

 **ANA** : or maybe i should take something else as payment 

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : And what would that be?

 

 **ANA** : how about an eye

 

 **ANA** : what's that old thing 

 

 **HANZO** : Hammurabi's code.

 

 **ANA** : you right 

 

 **ANA** : that

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : You do realize that it has not been in use for thousands of years now right? 

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : Femme idiote. 

 

 **ANA** : n ow you're calling me an idiot 

 

 **ANA** : square up B

 

 **ANA** : fight me

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : I can take out the other eye if you'd like.

 

 **HANZO** : What the fuck guys.

 

 **HANZO** : You're both idiots.

 

 **HANZO** : Literally all you have to do is put up some dollar store decorations is that too hard to do.

 

 **ANA** : wow 

 

 **ANA** : we're higher class than that

 

 **ANA** : it's from the dollar section of the party supply store 

 

 **HANZO** : Such high class.

 

 **ANA** : exactly

 

 **ANA** : that's why we need expert helpers like snip snip lady

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : Snip snip lady.

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : Why.

 

 **ANA** : :)

 

 **ANA** : you have 1 minute to get down here sweetie 

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : Fine.

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : But do not think it is because I am afraid of you, vieille femme. (

 

 **ANA** : lmao guess someone's not a fan

 

 

**[WIDOWMAKER HAS EXITED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **ANA** : aight so it's just you and me here 

 

 **ANA** : send me a pic of the new cut boi

 

 **HANZO** : No.

 

 **ANA** : come on

 

 **ANA** : p l e a s e 

 

 **HANZO** : Just wait.

 

 **HANZO** : I'm going to be back at the base in a bit anyway.

 

 **ANA** : come on you're one of my favorites 

 

 **ANA** : just let me see

 

 **ANA** : pls

 

 **HANZO** : Fine.

 

 **HANZO** : **_[IMG_8637]_**

 

 **ANA** : H O L Y SHIT

 

 **ANA** : ARE THOSE PIERCINGS TOO

 

 **ANA** : HOLY FUCK

 

 **ANA** : E D G Y

 

 **ANA** : but legit you look nice as fuck

 

 **ANA** : it suits you

 

 **HANZO** : Thank you.

 

 **ANA** : just prepare to get fucking destroyed 

 

 **ANA** : genji's never gonna let this go

 

 **HANZO** : Shit.

 

 **HANZO** : You're right. 

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : what won't i let go

 

 **ANA** : lmao

 

 **GENJI** : W HAT THE FUCK

 

 **GENJI** : AND YOU GET MAD AT ME FOR DYEING MY HAIR GREEN

 

 **GENJI** : KILL ME

 

 **GENJI** : AND NOW THIS

 

 **GENJI** : UNDERCUT

 

 **GENJI** : MAN BUN

 

 **GENJI** : EAR PIERCINGS 

 

 **GENJI** : AND BRIDGE PIERCINGS

 

 **GENJI** : ill let you finish the job and just k ill me you hypocrite 

 

 **ANA** : this is an even better reaction than I thought lmao

 

 **HANZO** : I'm not a hypocrite.

 

 **HANZO** : I just wanted a new look.

 

 **HANZO** : Stop acting like a child.

 

 **GENJI** : @gay c ome look at this 

 

 

**[D.VA, MERCY, S0MBRA, TRACER, JESSE MCCREE, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : ?

 

 **S0MBRA** : mi amor 

 

 **S0MBRA** : scroll up 

 

 **TRACER** : Woah Hanzo

 

 **TRACER** : You look great!!

 

 **REINHARDT** : very nice my friend 

 

 **REINHARDT** : and edgy

 

 **S0MBRA** : boi tell me why you look like every art major ive ever seen

 

 **S0MBRA** : but yo it suits you

 

 **MERCY** : I think you look very cool.

 

 **HANZO** : Thank you.

 

 **HANZO** : Do I take edgy as a compliment.

 

 **GENJI** : no

 

 **D.VA** : yes 

 

 **ANA** : why hasn't jesse said anything yet

 

 **D.VA** : im with him rn 

 

 **D.VA** : he's staring at the picture 

 

 **D.VA** : H IS FACE IS RED HA

 

 **TRACER** : :0

 

 **D.VA** : this is gay

 

 **MCCREE** : H A N Z O

 

 **MCCREE** : BABY

 

 **MCCREE** : SUGAR

 

 **MCCREE** : SWEETHEART 

 

 **MCCREE** : holy f u c k

 

 **MCCREE** : you look amazing 

 

 **HANZO** : Thank you, Jesse. 

 

 **MCCREE** : np

 

 **MCCREE** : it really suits you babe

 

 **MCCREE** : <3

 

 **HANZO** : <3

 

 **TRACER** : Jess, didn't you have piercings before?

 

 **D.VA** : W H A T

 

 **D.VA** : omfg

 

 **D.VA** : you have to be joking 

 

 **MCCREE** : i did lmao

 

 **MCCREE** : back when I was a little punk 

 

 **GENJI** : oh man I remember 

 

 **GENJI** : this boi had his ears pierced 

 

 **GENJI** : nose

 

 **GENJI** : did you have a lip one too 

 

 **MCCREE** : yup

 

 **S0MBRA** : brb gonna find pics

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : if she does im gonna cry

 

 **MERCY** : Come to think of it we were all pretty different before.

 

 **ANA** : you right 

 

 **HANZO** : I'm sorry, but I can not imagine you all other than the memeing idiots you are now.

 

 

**[MERCY HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: I'm sorry, but I can not imagine you all other than the memeing idiots you are now. (HANZO)]**

 

 

 **ANA** : here ill sum it up for you

 

 **ANA** : jesse was a little punk with a lot of piercings and ripped jeans 

 

 **REINHARDT** : genji was salty that you almost killed him

 

 **GENJI** : lmao yeah 

 

 **GENJI** : and i still wanted my green hair

 

 **MERCY** : At least we fixed that somewhat.

 

 **GENJI** : you right 

 

 **ANA** : lena has pretty much been the same ngl

 

 **MCCREE** : our cheery little Brit

 

 **TRACER** : :D

 

 **REINHARDT** : and angela was always shocked over the stupid shit we did 

 

 **MERCY** : I remember one time you two, Jack and Gabriel all had a shooting contest at almost 2 in the morning.

 

 **MERCY** : Drunk.

 

 **MCCREE** : lmao good times 

 

 **GENJI** : we all thought the base was being ambushed

 

 **GENJI** : super fun

 

 **HANZO** : So you were always idiots.

 

 **ANA** : yes

 

 **ANA** : exactly

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS RE-ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : i swear if you post pics

 

 **S0MBRA** : lmao I just came to say that you guys bought ice cream cake

 

 **S0MBRA** : it's melting 

 

 **S0MBRA** : tontos 

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS EXITED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **HANZO** : I'm walking into the base as we speak.

 

 **MCCREE** : n i c e 

 

 **MCCREE** : see you in a bit then <3

 

 **ANA** : k everyone to the kitchen

 

 **REINHARDT** : time to try and salvage the cake

 

 **GENJI** : ha i can't eat the melting cake

 

 **GENJI** : thanks hanzo 

 

 **D.VA** : L M A O

 

 

**[D.VA, MERCY, TRACER, ANA AMARI, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE EXITED this is homosexual]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps satya and widow did not decorate  
> they just went and complained about ana together
> 
> and hanzo's selfie was him with his resting bitch face
> 
> i love this man
> 
> also really love young punk ass mccree
> 
> Translation notes: (feel free to correct me)  
> \- Femme idiote. : Idiotic woman.  
> \- vieille femme : old woman  
> \- mi amor : my love  
> \- tontos : fools
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	23. yaint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a "word" to divide them all

**[GENJI SHIMADA AND JESSE MCCREE HAVE ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : k so

 

 **GENJI** : **_@gay_ ** some of you please come here

 

 **MCCREE** : were bitching at each other again and need someone to tell us who's right 

 

 **GENJI** : which is gonna be me

 

 **GENJI** : but still

 

 **MCCREE** : i swear to god genji 

 

 

**[D.VA HAS ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : only the gremlin 

 

 **MCCREE** : fuck

 

 **D.VA** : w o w 

 

 **D.VA** : im fine thanks uncle

 

 **GENJI** : who said she can't help jesse 

 

 **D.VA** : just tell me whats poppin bois 

 

 **GENJI** : jesse please

 

 **GENJI** : tell her

 

 **MCCREE** : is yaint a word

 

 **D.VA** : what the fuck

 

 **D.VA** : yaint???

 

 **MCCREE** : yall + aint 

 

 **GENJI** : you all are not

 

 **GENJI** : aint isn't even a word 

 

 **GENJI** : how is yaint a word then

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **ANA** : Y A I N T

 

 **ANA** : i can't believe it but i have to side with jesse on this 

 

 **MCCREE** : t hank you ma'am 

 

 **GENJI** : it's not a fucking word

 

 **D.VA** : ^

 

 **D.VA** : how much of a cowboy can you be

 

 **MCCREE** : much more 

 

 **ANA** : oh yeah

 

 **ANA** : hanzos cowboy kink 

 

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA HAS ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : lmao hi brother 

 

 **HANZO** : For the last time.

 

 **HANZO** : I do not have a cowboy kink.

 

 **ANA** : k 

 

 **D.VA** : can someone have a meme kink

 

 **MCCREE** : hana 

 

 **MCCREE** : just stop

 

 **D.VA** : i n e e d to know man

 

 **GENJI** : don't get off to memes kiddos

 

 

**[SYMMETRA HAS ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **SYMMETRA** : What is going on here. 

 

 **HANZO** : Save me from this hell Satya. 

 

 **SYMMETRA** : Y'ain't is not a word.

 

 **SYMMETRA** : Am I even typing it properly?

 

 **MCCREE** : ya

 

 **MCCREE** : and it's a word

 

 **HANZO** : Jesse.

 

 **HANZO** : I love you.

 

 **HANZO** : But it's not a word.

 

 **GENJI** : oh shit

 

 **GENJI** : do we actually agree on something brother

 

 **D.VA** : gg

 

 **D.VA** : even if this word tears overwatch apart at least you guys agree

 

 **HANZO** : Hana it doesn't even deserve to be called a word.

 

 **MCCREE** : so far only me and ana agree

 

 **MCCREE** : god damn

 

 **ANA** : why did I pick the losing side 

 

 **MCCREE** : we're not losing ma'am 

 

 **MCCREE** : we're the right ones 

 

 

**[MERCY AND PHARAH HAVE ENTERED this is homosexual]**

 

 

 **MERCY** : What is going on here? 

 

 **PHARAH** : Are you all really debating this again?

 

 **D.VA** : you guys debated this before 

 

 **GENJI** : yes 

 

 **GENJI** : we never came to a solid conclusion unfortunately 

 

 **HANZO** : We can do that right now. 

 

 **HANZO** : It's not a word. 

 

 **MERCY** : Actually...

 

 **MERCY** : I have to agree with Jesse on this.

 

 **PHARAH** : ^

 

 **PHARAH** : It's a word.

 

 **PHARAH** : I've heard it many times before.

 

 **MERCY** : As have I.

 

 **MERCY** : I was stationed in the southern United States for a few months.

 

 **MERCY** : It was odd when it wasn't used in a sentence. 

 

 **ANA** : n ice 

 

 **ANA** : so we got 4 on our side now

 

 **GENJI** : and 4 on our side 

 

 

**[D.VA HAS RE-NAMED THE CHATROOM TO yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : i mean

 

 **GENJI** : you're not wrong 

 

 **HANZO** : Is this a reference to that old super hero movie?

 

 **MCCREE** : captain america civil war

 

 **MCCREE** : i read digital versions of the comics lmao

 

 **D.VA** : y o i wanna read it too

 

 **D.VA** : we're still friends right 

 

 **MCCREE** : yes

 

 **MCCREE** : ill send you my login shit so you can read 

 

 **D.VA** : n i c e

 

 

**[REAPER AND S0MBRA HAVE ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **REAPER** : **are we really having this argument again**

 

 **MCCREE** : y e s

 

 **ANA** : it's a word

 

 **REAPER** : **unfortunately.**

 

 **REAPER** : **it is.**

 

 **D.VA** : father defending his loser cowboy son 

 

 **MCCREE** : =|:((

 

 **HANZO** : Is that supposed to be a cowboy hat. 

 

 **MCCREE** : yes and I love it

 

 **S0MBRA** : what the fuck

 

 **S0MBRA** : it's not a word

 

 **S0MBRA** : ain't isn't even a word dude 

 

 **GENJI** : E X A C T L Y

 

 **SYMMETRA** : How can one even believe it is a word.

 

 

**[WIDOWMAKER HAS ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : Not a word. 

 

 **ANA** : o f course the bitching trio sticks together 

 

 **HANZO** : Because we are the only sane ones here. 

 

 **GENJI** : wow

 

 **GENJI** : fuck you too brother 

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : Must this really be debated through the chatroom?

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : You two could have just had a fist fight.

 

 **GENJI** : id have an unfair advantage

 

 **GENJI** : being a cool cyborg ninja and all

 

 **MERCY** : You're welcome.

 

 **GENJI** : <3

 

 **PHARAH** : Jesse technically has his metal arm.

 

 **MCCREE** : yo this shit hurts

 

 **MCCREE** : i accidentally hit myself in the face once with it

 

 **SYMMETRA** : How?

 

 **MCCREE** : i was trying to put a shirt on

 

 **S0MBRA** : b o i

 

 **MCCREE** : f uck off it was a little bit after I lost the arm

 

 **HANZO** : That's understandable. 

 

 

**[TRACER HAS ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **TRACER** : What's going on here??

 

 **ANA** : y o lena

 

 **ANA** : is yaint a word

 

 **TRACER** : I'm sorry, this isn't Lena :(

 

 **TRACER** : She left her phone at the apartment.

 

 **TRACER** : This is Emily. Her girlfriend c:

 

 **MCCREE** : is yaint a word 

 

 **MCCREE** : this is very important please help us

 

 **TRACER** : I guess??

 

 **TRACER** : I mean it's used in the west.

 

 **MCCREE** : t h a n k

 

 **MERCY** : Is it safe for her to be here??

 

 **MERCY** : Isn't this chatroom technically filled with classified information?

 

 **S0MBRA** : if memes are classified

 

 **S0MBRA** : then ya she shouldn't be here

 

 **TRACER** : Oh man :(

 

 **TRACER** : Should I go? I can just send it to Lena. 

 

 

**[WINSTON HAS ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **WINSTON** : Yaint is not a word.

 

 **WINSTON** : Also, that will not be necessary, Emily. You can keep it. I'm already setting up a new one for Lena. 

 

 **TRACER** : Nice!!

 

 **TRACER** : Where do I go to change my name? 

 

 **GENJI** : bottom left 

 

 **D.VA** : should say user settings 

 

 **S0MBRA** : lmao i just did it for you

 

 **EMILY** : Thanks c:

 

 

**[TRACER HAS ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **TRACER** : New phone lads :D

 

 **EMILY** : Hi Lena <3

 

 **TRACER** : Hey! <3

 

 **MCCREE** : this chat got even gayer now

 

 **ANA** : i didn't think it was possible

 

 **ANA** : good job kiddies 

 

 **ANA** : you all get candy

 

 **ANA** : except the ones who said yaint isn't a word 

 

 **TRACER** : It is a word :/

 

 **TRACER** : I heard it all the time when I was stationed in the states! 

 

 **MCCREE** : good job Lena

 

 **MCCREE** : you chose the right side 

 

 **HANZO** : Who hasn't said anything yet.

 

 **SYMMETRA** : **_@LÚCIO @ZENYATTA @MEI @ZARYA @REINHARDT @76 @JUNKRAT @ROADHOG_**

 

 

**[JUNKRAT AND ROADHOG HAVE ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **ROADHOG** : it's not a word.

 

 **JUNKRAT** : ROADIE

 

 **JUNKRAT** : IT IS THO 

 

 **ROADHOG** : jamison it isn't a real word.

 

 **JUNKRAT** : IT I S 

 

 **MCCREE** : wow yall are split over this

 

 **MCCREE** : i thought you guys would be on the same side 

 

 **ROADHOG** : same. 

 

 **JUNKRAT** : I AGREE WITH YOU COW DUDE

 

 **JUNKRAT** : ITS A WORD 

 

 **MCCREE** : thanks kid

 

 **HANZO** : You're winning right now.

 

 **HANZO** : Unbelievable.

 

 **MCCREE** : h a

 

 **MCCREE** : suck it yall 

 

 **MCCREE** : im right 

 

 

**[LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE ENTERED yaint civil war]**

 

 

 **REINHARDT** : it's a word

 

 **LÚCIO** : yo sorry dude

 

 **LÚCIO** : ily 

 

 **LÚCIO** : but it's not a word 

 

 **REAPER** : **if this is really all we're gonna talk about then im out.**

 

 

**[SOLDIER: 76 HAS ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **76** : It's a word. 

 

 **76** : It's used too much to not be a word. 

 

 **ANA** : you and Reyes actually agree

 

 **ANA** : good job

 

 **ANA** : im proud of you boys 

 

 **REAPER** : **ana stop.**

 

 **ANA** : no

 

 **REAPER** : **it's just a dumb word calm down.**

 

 **MCCREE** : d u m b

 

 **MCCREE** : wow okay

 

 **S0MBRA** : nice their sides already falling apart 

 

 **D.VA** : lmao

 

 **D.VA** : so do we just win?

 

 **GENJI** : yes 

 

 **EMILY** : Aw man :(

 

 **MCCREE** : D A D THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT 

 

 **REINHARDT** : h a you just called him dad

 

 **MCCREE** : wait

 

 **MCCREE** : f u c k

 

 **MCCREE** : time to jump out of the window and hope itll kill me

 

 **ANA** : knowing us this shits gonna come back eventually

 

 **MCCREE** : y ou may have won this time

 

 **MCCREE** : but yaint gonna see me congratulating yall 

 

 **D.VA** : did

 

 **D.VA** : did he just use it in a sentence 

 

 **S0MBRA** : holy shit

 

 **EMILY** : See? It's a word! 

 

 **TRACER** : ^

 

 **TRACER** : Anyways, isn't today movie night guys??

 

 **76** : Yeah.

 

 **ANA** : oh shit it should have started like half an hour ago

 

 **WIDOWMAKER** : What movie are we going to watch?

 

 **LÚCIO** : guys

 

 **LÚCIO** : we should watch civil war now

 

 **REINHARDT** : ^

 

 **REINHARDT** : team cap bois

 

 **ANA** : we're not arguing again today

 

 **REAPER** : **save it for another day**

 

 **EMILY** : Have fun guys!!

 

 **TRACER** : We can video call through here if you want :D

 

 **EMILY** : Sure! It'll be nice c: 

 

 **TRACER** : I'll call you in a bit <3

 

 **EMILY** : <3

 

 **ANA** : genji hanzo get popcorn

 

 **ANA** : everyone else actually find somewhere to sit lmao

 

 **GENJI** : f i n e

 

 **REAPER** : **watching a movie with losers**

 

 **REAPER** : **typical Friday night**

 

 **S0MBRA** : true 

 

 **MCCREE** : let's go b o i s

 

 

**[D.VA, EMILY, JUNKRAT, MERCY, PHARAH, REAPER, ROADHOG, SOLDIER: 76, SYMMETRA, S0MBRA, TRACER, WIDOWMAKER, WINSTON, ANA AMARI, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, JESSE MCCREE, GENJI SHIMADA, HANZO SHIMADA, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE EXITED yaint: civil war]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: is yaint even a word idk dude  
> yall got me c onflicted  
> but i love this meme so much  
> its like a super word  
> if it even is one lmao  
> y o u  
> a l l  
> a r e  
> n o t
> 
> also mei and zarya didnt join cause date night  
> and zen was doing some meditation
> 
> a nd yo emily is a part of it now  
> gonna add bastion next chapter too so stay tuned yall
> 
>  
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	24. swear jar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They really gotta set a better example for the younger members.

**[ANA AMARI HAS ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **ANA** : SHIT GUYS

 

 **ANA** : WE GOT NEW RECRUITS

 

 **ANA** : WINSTON TOLD ME

 

 **ANA** : _**@gay**_

 

 

**[MERCY HAS ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **MERCY** : Yes Ana, I was there too.

 

 **MERCY** : We all were. 

 

 **ANA** : shhh

 

 **ANA** : im just kinda worried

 

 **ANA** : so this girl

 

 **ANA** : she's 11 dude 

 

 **ANA** : but a freaking genius

 

 **ANA** : built a robot

 

 **ANA** : but she's e l e v e n angela 

 

 **ANA** : this is like the shittiest place for an eleven year old

 

 **MERCY** : I am well aware.

 

 

**[D.VA HAS ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : we really gotta clean our acts up

 

 **D.VA** : and not curse like every five seconds around her 

 

 **ANA** : hana 

 

 **ANA** : my child

 

 **ANA** : literally more than 3/4 of the people in this chat room say bad shit every sentence 

 

 **MERCY** : I believe I have an idea.

 

 **MERCY** : But first, we will need the main offenders here.

 

 **D.VA** : so the ones who act the worst

 

 **D.VA** : easy

 

 **D.VA** : me and ana are already here

 

 **ANA** : **_@MCCREE @GENJI @S0MBRA @REINHARDT @REAPER @JUNKRAT @ROADHOG_**

 

 **ANA** : is that it? 

 

 **MERCY** : **_@HANZO @WIDOWMAKER @SYMMETRA_**

 

 **D.VA** : yikes

 

 **D.VA** : even the bitching trio

 

 **MERCY** : Perhaps we can refer to them as something else?

 

 **MERCY** : Like their names.

 

 **ANA** : a n g e l a is that sass 

 

 **MERCY** : :)

 

 **D.VA** : that's the last face you see before you die 

 

 **ANA** : accurate 

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : what the fuck is going on 

 

 **GENJI** : i missed the meeting

 

 **GENJI** : cause i stayed up till 4 in the morning playing a game

 

 **GENJI** : and crying 

 

 **D.VA** : was it the one i gave you

 

 **GENJI** : yes

 

 **GENJI** : i don't like you

 

 **D.VA** : (((:

 

 **D.VA** : bro

 

 **D.VA** : you need to learn to have no emotions like me

 

 **GENJI** : you get a t t a c h e d 

 

 **GENJI** : id die for any one of them

 

 **D.VA** : yes but which would you fuck

 

 **ANA** : s e e 

 

 **ANA** : this is why an eleven year old can't be here 

 

 **GENJI** : true

 

 **GENJI** : and id honestly want to just be in the middle of all of them dude 

 

 **D.VA** : i thought so

 

 **D.VA** : i just wanna bury my face in cindy's l a p

 

 **GENJI** : lmao same 

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : H A N A

 

 **MCCREE** : FUCK YOU

 

 **MCCREE** : I CRIED FOR 3 HOURS STRAIGHT 

 

 **MERCY** : Hana.

 

 **MERCY** : Please stop making the boys suffer.

 

 **D.VA** : hey

 

 **D.VA** : they're my best bois

 

 **D.VA** : so i gotta make them suffer with me!!

 

 **D.VA** : it's only fair

 

 **GENJI** : that's like boi code 

 

 **MCCREE** : ^

 

 **MCCREE** : anyways yall 

 

 **MCCREE** : what happened at the meeting 

 

 **ANA** : an eleven year old genius who built a robot is gonna join us

 

 **ANA** : and her robot

 

 **D.VA** : Efi and Orisa!

 

 **D.VA** : they're both gonna be on base in a bit!!

 

 **MCCREE** : 11

 

 **MCCREE** : holy shit

 

 **MCCREE** : were not fit to be around a kid 

 

 **GENJI** : jesse you're right

 

 **GENJI** : oh my god

 

 **GENJI** : what are we gonna do

 

 **MERCY** : I have an idea.

 

 **ANA** : please angela 

 

 **ANA** : help us 

 

 **MERCY** : Swear jar.

 

 **GENJI** : i didn't realize this was 1987 

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: i didn't realize this was 1987 (GENJI SHIMADA)]**

 

 

 **MERCY** : We have Athena in here.

 

 **MERCY** : And every time someone curses, she takes a dollar out of their account.

 

 **D.VA** : wait

 

 **D.VA** : we get payed??

 

 **GENJI** : you really didn't know

 

 **ANA** : how the fuck did you not know 

 

 **MCCREE** : l m a o

 

 **D.VA** : :c

 

 **D.VA** : fuck

 

 **MERCY** : **_@ATHENA_** Please deduct a dollar from someone's account when they curse effective immediately.

 

 **ATHENA** : Understood. 

 

 **MCCREE** : someone test it

 

 **GENJI** : ill do it

 

 **GENJI** : you know since im rich

 

 **MCCREE** : genji you can f u c k off

 

 **ATHENA** : One dollar deducted from Jesse McCree's account. (Protocol: "Swear Jar") **_@MCCREE_**

 

 **MCCREE** : =|:(

 

 **GENJI** : H A 

 

 **GENJI** : oh man that's fucking great

 

 **ATHENA** : One dollar deducted from Genji Shimada's account. (Protocol: "Swear Jar") **_@GENJI_**

 

 **GENJI** : shit

 

 **ATHENA** : One dollar deducted from Genji Shimada's account. (Protocol: "Swear Jar") **_@GENJI_**

 

 **GENJI** : wow im just gonna shut up so i don't end up living under a bridge 

 

 **ANA** : ha

 

 **ANA** : you kiddies need to learn self control 

 

 

**[PHARAH HAS ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **PHARAH** : Hey guys, Efi and Orisa are going to be here in about 3 hours.

 

 **PHARAH** : But she's already working on getting in the chatroom.

 

 **ANA** : shit we have less than 3 hours to become decent people 

 

 **ATHENA** : One dollar has been deducted from Ana Amari's account. (Protocol: "Swear Jar") **_@ANA_**

 

 **PHARAH** : We have a swear jar now?

 

 **MERCY** : Yes, I thought it would be a good idea to try and lessen the cursing here.

 

 **PHARAH** : To make it a nice place for Efi.

 

 **PHARAH** : Yes, that's a good idea.

 

 **PHARAH** : I remember once, you let me use your communicator, Mother.

 

 **ANA** : oh yeah

 

 **ANA** : that was a terrible idea

 

 **MCCREE** : tbh

 

 **ANA** : don't you tbh me mister

 

 **ANA** : you were the worst one

 

 **MCCREE** : what the fuck genji was the worst one 

 

 **ATHENA** : One dollar has been deducted from Jesse McCree's account. (Protocol: "Swear Jar") ** _@MCCREE_**

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : id believe it

 

 **GENJI** : discrimination against cyborgs at its finest 

 

 **GENJI** : i thought you all were more progressive than this 

 

 **D.VA** : if we weren't progressive then why are we welcoming a new recruit that's an o m n i c 

 

 **S0MBRA** : ^

 

 **S0MBRA** : anyways im ready to get them into the chatroom lmao

 

 **D.VA** : nice 

 

 

**[EMILY AND TRACER HAVE ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **TRACER** : Everyone be on their best behavior! :0

 

 **EMILY** : ^

 

 **EMILY** : I mean I've only been here for a few days

 

 **EMILY** : But really guys

 

 **EMILY** : She's eleven 

 

 **D.VA** : yeah dude

 

 **D.VA** : we gotta look out for Efi :((

 

 

**[LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS HAS ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **LÚCIO** : dude Efi is so awesome!!

 

 **D.VA** : isn't she a big fan of yours too

 

 **LÚCIO** : lmao yeah

 

 **LÚCIO** : she's so nice dude 

 

 **LÚCIO** : she's gonna be like the little sister of the group

 

 **D.VA** : n i c e

 

 **S0MBRA** : aaaand got everything set up

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ADDED ORISA AND EFI OLADELE TO yaint: civil war]**

 

 

**[ORISA AND EFI OLADELE HAVE ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **EFI** : Hello everyone!!

 

 **D.VA** : hey!!

 

 **MCCREE** : howdy

 

 **GENJI** : jesse 

 

 **GENJI** : really

 

 **GENJI** : first word you say to her

 

 **GENJI** : howdy

 

 **GENJI** : fucking loser

 

 **ATHENA** : One dollar deducted from Genji Shimada's account. (Protocol: "Swear Jar") _**@GENJI**_

 

 **GENJI** : O H NO

 

 **MERCY** : Genji! 

 

 **MERCY** : It's been less than a minute.

 

 **MERCY** : Really.

 

 **PHARAH** : Wow Genji.

 

 **ANA** : smh

 

 **MCCREE** : k a r m a 

 

 **EFI** : You have a bot in here? Nice!! 

 

 **EFI** : I don't think I've seen one named Athena in any chatrooms.

 

 **LÚCIO** : that's cause Winston made her 

 

 **EFI** : Cool

 

 **EFI** : Anyways, it's really nice to meet you all!!

 

 **EFI** : Just being here in a chatroom with so many amazing heroes

 

 **EFI** : It's so awesome! 

 

 **EFI** : Can't wait to see you all c:

 

 **ANA** : can't wait to see you either little hero

 

 **MERCY** : So, Efi. This Orisa, you built her? 

 

 **EFI** : Well, made some tweaks.

 

 **EFI** : She's an OR-15 unit, and I made her her own special personality chip! 

 

 **EFI** : We really needed a hero in Numbani, and I really feel that Orisa can help.

 

 **EFI** : _**@ORISA** _ Say hi to everyone!! They're all big heroes like you!

 

 **ORISA** : It is an honor to speak to you all.

 

 **ORISA** : Together, we can keep countless safe.

 

 **D.VA** : i love you both already 

 

 **D.VA** : yo efi when you get to the watchpoint me and lucio can take you on a tour!! 

 

 **EFI** : Sounds fun!!

 

 **EFI** : Also, are there any other omnics in Overwatch? 

 

 **GENJI** : lmao im a cyborg

 

 **GENJI** : so kinda omnic 

 

 **EFI** : :0

 

 **EFI** : That's so cool!!

 

 **EFI** : You're the ninja guy, right? 

 

 **GENJI** : the one and only 

 

 **EFI** : Can you please sign my action figure

 

 **EFI** : Actually, I have one of most of you 

 

 **D.VA** : that's p r e c i o u s

 

 **MCCREE** : sure thing kid

 

 **EFI** : Thank you!! 

 

 **PHARAH** : I think you're gonna like it here.

 

 **EFI** : Same

 

 **ORISA** : **_@ATHENA_** Are you also a member of this organization?

 

 **ATHENA** : Yes.

 

 **ATHENA** : And I would be happy to assist with you settling in to the base once you arrive.

 

 **ORISA** : Thank you.

 

 **TRACER** : :000

 

 **EMILY** : Awww

 

 **EMILY** : The girls are making friends!!

 

 **GENJI** : 50 bucks says we'll have robot girlfriends by the end of the week

 

 **EFI** : 100

 

 **ANA** : already getting into the overwatch betting pools

 

 **ANA** : you've made this mom p r o u d 

 

 **MERCY** : Please don't convert Efi too.

 

 **MCCREE** : =|:)))

 

 **EFI** : Guys, were gonna have to go :(

 

 **EFI** : But good news, we'll be there in like half an hour! 

 

 **ORISA** : I will see you all soon.

 

 **ATHENA** : Have a safe trip here.

 

 **EFI** : Ttyl!! <3

 

 **LÚCIO** : <3

 

 **D.VA** : <3 

 

 

**[ORISA AND EFI OLADELE HAVE EXITED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : guys guys

 

 **GENJI** : why don't we make this place actually look nice 

 

 **S0MBRA** : how bad does it really look tho

 

 **MCCREE** : like a hurricane went through the common area

 

 **ANA** : fuck

 

 **ATHENA** : One dollar has been deducted from Ana Amari's account. (Protocol: "Swear Jar") ** _@ANA_**

 

 **ANA** : KSNSKWMSKNSKASNSKJWSNSK

 

 **ANA** : im gonna die dude 

 

 **MERCY** : There is so much garbage in the common area I can barely see the floor.

 

 **PHARAH** : We have half an hour to make this place presentable. 

 

 **LÚCIO** : we can do it guys!!

 

 **TRACER** : Be there in a jiffy! :D

 

 **EMILY** : Gl!!

 

 **GENJI** : c l e aning time 

 

 **MCCREE** : =|:((

 

 

**[D.VA, EMILY, MERCY, PHARAH, S0MBRA, TRACER, ANA AMARI, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, JESSE MCCREE, AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE EXITED yaint: civil war]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes a month without an update on this  
> real sorry yall
> 
> but ffxv has literally taken over my life for the past month  
> i love that game
> 
> hence why its the game hana gives genji to play ;)))
> 
> but y o dude  
> orisa and efi  
> i love them,,,  
> she just believes in orisa so much  
> its so cute
> 
> and yes ik i didnt add bastion yet, they'll be here probably next chapter dont you worry
> 
> next update hopefully soon!!  
> really, thanks so much for reading  
> didnt think this shitpost would get much attention lmao
> 
>  
> 
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	25. thots and sauce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blackwatch and thot patrol, a lethal combo.
> 
> Everyone needs their nuggies dude

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : HOLY SHIT GUYS

 

 **GENJI** : MAINLY JESSE

 

 **GENJI** : SZECHUAN SAUCE

 

 **GENJI** : BACK AGAIN

 

 **GENJI** : **_@gay_**

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS ENTERED yaint: civil war]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : am i dreaming 

 

 **GENJI** : NO ITS LEGIT

 

 **MCCREE** : G E N J I

 

 **MCCREE** : WE HAVE TO GET SOME

 

 **GENJI** : YES

 

 **GENJI** : I DRIVE

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS RE-NAMED THE CHATROOM TO i need that sauce]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : jesse i love you

 

 **MCCREE** : that's gay

 

 **GENJI** : again

 

 **GENJI** : this is overwatch 

 

 **GENJI** : definition of homosexual 

 

 **MCCREE** : i mean

 

 **MCCREE** : you're not wrong 

 

 **GENJI** : dude

 

 **GENJI** : you know what we gotta do

 

 **MCCREE** : are you saying 

 

 **MCCREE** : we take reyes 

 

 **GENJI** : yes

 

 **GENJI** : jesus are you a mind reader

 

 **MCCREE** : nah

 

 **MCCREE** : it was just the most obvious thing lmao

 

 **MCCREE** : good old blackwatch 3 AM mcdonalds runs

 

 **GENJI** : those were legendary

 

 **GENJI** : until we got back to base

 

 **MCCREE** : ana there

 

 **MCCREE** : waiting to scold us

 

 **MCCREE** : scary shit

 

 **GENJI** : tbh

 

 **GENJI** : until we figured out we could appease her with nuggies 

 

 **MCCREE** : yw 

 

 **GENJI** : oh shut up

 

 **GENJI** : you didnt even think it would work

 

 **MCCREE** : h a but it did 

 

 **GENJI** : **_@REAPER_** dad come get nuggies with us 

 

 **MCCREE** : pls 

 

 

**[REAPER HAS ENTERED i need that sauce]**

 

 

 **REAPER** : no nuggies.

 

 **MCCREE** : but

 

 **MCCREE** : we gotta

 

 **GENJI** : they brought back the sauce

 

 **GENJI** : again

 

 **REAPER** : i've learned my lesson taking you two out all those times before.

 

 **REAPER** : no nuggies.

 

 **MCCREE** : but ana doesn't care anymore :(

 

 **GENJI** : wait

 

 **GENJI** : y o u don't want jack to get mad

 

 **GENJI** : man that's gay

 

 **REAPER** : i know.

 

 **MCCREE** : literally

 

 **MCCREE** : bring him back some food and he'll be good

 

 **REAPER** : he doesn't like it tho.

 

 **GENJI** : wh

 

 **GENJI** : how???

 

 **GENJI** : who the fuck in this world doesn't like chicken nuggets 

 

 **MCCREE** : they're the only good thing on this god damn planet 

 

 **MCCREE** : im about to go and fight him

 

 **GENJI** : same

 

 **REAPER** : id join you honestly.

 

 **REAPER** : but im already in the car to get food.

 

 **MCCREE** : WHAT THE FUCK

 

 **MCCREE** : WAIT FOR US

 

 **REAPER** : maybe.

 

 **GENJI** : ill give you 500 bucks to wait

 

 **REAPER** : deal.

 

 **GENJI** : sweet

 

 **MCCREE** : kay hold up im gonna grab my hat 

 

 **GENJI** : loser

 

 **MCCREE** : no

 

 **MCCREE** : you

 

 **GENJI** : :(

 

 

**[ANA AMARI AND HANZO SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED i need that sauce]**

 

 

 **ANA** : i hope you know you're all bringing enough food for the entire base

 

 **ANA** : every person here 

 

 **ANA** : nuggets

 

 **ANA** : and sauce 

 

 **REAPER** : fine.

 

 **GENJI** : you do realize that it's 2 in the morning right 

 

 **ANA** : literally everyone is awake right now

 

 **ANA** : even efi 

 

 **ANA** : i honestly don't even think any of us will be asleep till the sun comes up

 

 **HANZO** : You two were in Blackwatch together?

 

 **GENJI** : no shit

 

 **MCCREE** : lmao ya we were babe

 

 **HANZO** : Please don't tell me you two were the trouble makers of Blackwatch

 

 **GENJI** : (:

 

 **GENJI** : maybe 

 

 **GENJI** : i mean i was still all mad cause SOMEONE almost killed me

 

 **MCCREE** : you were so edgy

 

 **MCCREE** : yeah it was well founded

 

 **MCCREE** : but red eyes

 

 **MCCREE** : dramatic

 

 **GENJI** : don't blame me blame angela 

 

 **GENJI** : fucking LED eyes

 

 **GENJI** : she could make me all those colors and she has to pick red

 

 **HANZO** : Was she not aware that green was your thing.

 

 **GENJI** : apparently not

 

 **MCCREE** : man it was before i had my serape too

 

 **MCCREE** : you could have stole my color from me

 

 **MCCREE** : you thot

 

 **GENJI** : begone THOT

 

 **MCCREE** : i aint no t h o t

 

 **ANA** : am

 

 **ANA** : am i seeing an old meme revive

 

 **ANA** : again 

 

 **ANA** : you kids are good noodles

 

 **GENJI** : good noodles get gold stars

 

 **GENJI** : not thots 

 

 **MCCREE** : but youre the thot 

 

 **GENJI** : wait

 

 **GENJI** : how could i not see it

 

 **GENJI** : hanzo's the thot 

 

 **ANA** : tiddy hanging out

 

 **ANA** : begone THOT

 

 **MCCREE** : h e aint a thot

 

 **HANZO** : What is a thot. 

 

 **ANA** : you don't know what a thot is

 

 **ANA** : shameful 

 

 **ANA** : overwatch is like 

 

 **ANA** : thot patrol

 

 **ANA** : and you don't know what a thot is

 

 **ANA** : very shameful 

 

 **REAPER** : why with this again ana.

 

 **ANA** : the kids need to know 

 

 **GENJI** : can i tell him what it is

 

 **GENJI** : please 

 

 **ANA** : y e s 

 

 **GENJI** : k so

 

 **GENJI** : hanzo

 

 **GENJI** : do you use the dog filter on snapchat 

 

 **HANZO** : Jesse makes me use filters. 

 

 **GENJI** : j e s s e 

 

 **GENJI** : you're a thot

 

 **MCCREE** : ew i don't use the dog one 

 

 **MCCREE** : it's nasty

 

 **HANZO** : That's the only one I can tolerate.

 

 **HANZO** : And the flower crown one. 

 

 **MCCREE** : anything looks good on you tho babe

 

 **MCCREE** : <3

 

 **HANZO** : <3

 

 **GENJI** : cute

 

 **GENJI** : but still you're both thots 

 

 **ANA** : technically

 

 **ANA** : they're not thots 

 

 **ANA** : they don't go hoeing around and shit

 

 **REAPER** : ^

 

 **REPAER** : you're the thot genji.

 

 **GENJI** : )):

 

 **GENJI** : heck 

 

 **ANA** : hanzo how the fuck do you like the dog filter

 

 **GENJI** : he's a furry remember 

 

 **ANA** : oh yeah

 

 **HANZO** : Stop.

 

 

**[D.VA HAS ENTERED i need that sauce]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : did i hear

 

 **D.VA** : THOT PATROL

 

 **ANA** : THIS GIRL KNOWS WHATS UP

 

 **ANA** : hana 

 

 **ANA** : i appoint you to be the second in command of thot patrol

 

 **D.VA** : f o r real

 

 **D.VA** : ohmygod 

 

 **D.VA** : am i dreaming 

 

 **REAPER** : ana.

 

 **REAPER** : i was second in command.

 

 **ANA** : legit

 

 **ANA** : heck

 

 **MCCREE** : wasnt reinhardt second in command

 

 **GENJI** : ^

 

 **GENJI** : i still have the list in my notes hold up ill copy and paste

 

 **HANZO** : Why did you all plan this out. 

 

 **ANA** : cause

 

 **ANA** : thot patrol is important 

 

 **GENJI** : THOT PATROL 

commander: ana second in command: rein 

leader of the thiccs: gabe 

backup: cowboy kid, speedy 

 

 **ANA** : T HATS RIGHT

 

 **GENJI** : bullshit im not on it

 

 **ANA** : we knew you were a thot that's why

 

 **D.VA** : BEGONE 

 

 **REAPER** : i forgot about leader of the thiccs.

 

 **ANA** : i mean we did make it when we were all wasted at one of the holiday parties

 

 **ANA** : oh shit that was the same party that jesse and genji made out

 

 **MCCREE** : bro smooch

 

 **GENJI** : obviously not gay when it's a bro smooch

 

 **ANA** : anyways

 

 **ANA** : new thot patrol all stays the same

 

 **ANA** : except hana is my assistant 

 

 **D.VA** : so like

 

 **D.VA** : i get you coffee and stuff??

 

 **ANA** : no

 

 **ANA** : you get me nuggies with that sauce 

 

 **REAPER** : does anyone have the whole speech of the sauce. 

 

 **MCCREE** : Ahh, not so fast Morty. You heard your mom, we’ve got adventures to go on Morty. Just you and me, and sometimes your sister, and sometimes your mom, but NEVER your dad! You wanna know why Morty? Because he CROSSED me. It gets darker Morty... Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that’s different, no more dad Morty. He threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made him and the government go away... I repla-burp-ced them both as the defacto-patriarch of your family, AND your universe. Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister. So now you know the REAL reason I rescued you. I JUST TOOK OVER THE FAMILY MORTY! And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I’ll DENY it. And they’ll take my side, because I’m a hero, Morty. And now you’re gonna have to do whatever I say, Morty, FOREVER! A-and I-I’ll go out and find some more of that Mulan, Szechuan Teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty. Because that’s, that's what this is all about Morty! Th-that’s my one arm man. I’m not driven by avenging my dead family Morty, that was FAKE! I-I’m driven by finding that, McNugget Sauce. I want that Mulan McNugget Sauce, Morty. That’s my series arc Morty! If it takes 9 seasons, I WANT MY MCNUGGET DIPPING SAUCE SZECHUAN SAUCE MORTY! TH-THAT’S WHAT'S GONNA TAKE US, ALL THE WAY TO THE END MORTY! SEASON, 9 MORE SEASONS MORTY! Szechuan sauce?! 9 MORE SEASONS UNTIL I GET THAT DIPPING SZECHUAN SAUCE! FOR 97 MORE YEARS MORTY! I WANT THAT MCNUGGET SAUCE MORTY!!!

 

 **ANA** : still keeping all our copypastas 

 

 **ANA** : im so proud

 

 **MCCREE** : =|:')

 

 **D.VA** : w a i t so i get to go on the mcdonalds run rn? 

 

 **ANA** : yes

 

 **REAPER** : at this point, why don't we all go together.

 

 **ANA** : us 

 

 **ANA** : invited to a blackwatch midnight run 

 

 **ANA** : holy shit

 

 **HANZO** : You're all ridiculous.

 

 **HANZO** : But I'm still going.

 

 **MCCREE** : s u g a r we're gonna have fun i swear

 

 **GENJI** : kay but who's driving 

 

 **REAPER** : it's 2076 the cars drive themselves.

 

 **GENJI** : all of you have your cars drive themselves 

 

 **GENJI** : what the fuck i just drive

 

 **ANA** : hey i drive too

 

 **MCCREE** : i had a motorcycle back in my edgy gang days

 

 **HANZO** : Really? 

 

 **MCCREE** : yup

 

 **MCCREE** : kept her in great condition too

 

 **ANA** : cowboy kink + bad boy kink

 

 **ANA** : ???

 

 **HANZO** : I will be waiting in the car.

 

 **MCCREE** : heeey 

 

 **MCCREE** : i love you

 

 **HANZO** : I love you too.

 

 **HANZO** : <3

 

 **MCCREE** : <3

 

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA HAS EXITED i need that sauce]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : so legit we're all going 

 

 **REAPER** : yes. 

 

 **REAPER** : the manager there knows me, he'll give us as many nuggets as we need.

 

 **ANA** : still have those connections? 

 

 **ANA** : nice

 

 **GENJI** : ill drive 

 

 **MCCREE** : great we're all gonna die

 

 **GENJI** : i bet i can drive better than you 

 

 **D.VA** : B E T

 

 **REAPER** : 100 on genji.

 

 **ANA** : 250 on genji 

 

 **D.VA** : man no faith in cowboi 

 

 **D.VA** : k then i got 500 on him 

 

 **ANA** : come on guys

 

 **ANA** : i need that sauce 

 

 **MCCREE** : 97 more years

 

 **GENJI** : ill meet you guys out there, im gonna get the keys

 

 **REAPER** : okay. 

 

 

**[D.VA, REAPER, ANA AMARI, JESSE MCCREE, AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE EXITED i need that sauce]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> legit, i started writing this chapter a few days ago  
> and then they announce the officer dva skin
> 
> i only refer to it as thot patrol  
> yw
> 
>  
> 
> but yooo genji was in blackwatch too!!  
> jesse and genji being bros lives on
> 
> and they'd totally go to mcdonalds at like 3 in the morning  
> with gabe egging them on
> 
> yes  
> rick and morty references  
> i had to im sorry 
> 
>  
> 
> next chapter hopefully soon, i know ive been terrible with updating this :'))  
> feel free to leave any prompts or suggestions over at my [tumblr!](http://dark-night-skye.tumblr.com/)


	26. lobster discourse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who the FUCK likes lobsters??

**ATHENA** : _**@D.VA**_ Your orders have arrived. Shall I notify the chat for assistance in the assembly process?

 

 

**[D.VA HAS ENTERED i need that sauce]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : it's fine!! ill ask them myself

  
**D.VA** : thanks tho athena <33

  
**ATHENA** : Not a problem at all.

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ENTERED i need that sauce]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : babe what did you order

  
**D.VA** : hold up its a surprise

  
**D.VA** : we need more people here

  
**S0MBRA** : oye _**@gay**_

  
**S0MBRA** : we need people

  
**D.VA** : i got something for everyone!!

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS ENTERED i need that sauce]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : literally everyone is asleep from the nugget escapade last night

  
**D.VA** : it's like

  
**D.VA** : 4 in the afternoon

  
**GENJI** : overwatch is nocturnal

  
**D.VA** : don't say noct your gonna make me CRY

  
**GENJI** : ha

  
**S0MBRA** : ninja wake everyone up

  
**GENJI** : i know i may send some pretty edgy memes here

  
**GENJI** : but i have no death wish

  
**D.VA** : fiiiiiine ill do it myself

  
**D.VA** : where's the megaphone

  
**S0MBRA** : i thought it was still in your room

  
**S0MBRA** : we used it for the last stream remember?

  
**D.VA** : 00: oh yeah!!

  
**D.VA** : genji weren't you there too

  
**GENJI** : yes

  
**GENJI** : once it hit midnight we opened the windows and screamed happy pride month into it

  
**D.VA** : man good times

  
**S0MBRA** : speaking of pride

  
**S0MBRA** : when's the parade?

  
**GENJI** : wait what's today

  
**D.VA** : thursday

  
**GENJI** : then it's tomorrow

  
**S0MBRA** : sweet

  
**GENJI** : lenas gonna be the grand marshal

  
**D.VA** : 00:

  
**D.VA** : good for her!!

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS ENTERED i need that sauce]**

 

 

 **ANA** : why the FUCK are you guys up

  
**ANA** : it's like 4 in the afternoon

  
**D.VA** : woke up cause i was waiting for a package

  
**S0MBRA** : didn't want to leave her up all alone

  
**GENJI** : im a cyborg ninja i don't need sleep

  
**ANA** : sound reasoning

  
**ANA** : i got up cause someone notified all of us

  
**D.VA** : (((:

  
**D.VA** : sorry

  
**ANA** : it's all good i needed to get up anyways

  
**ANA** : need to buy stuff for tomorrow

  
**GENJI** : i probably have some extra stuff if you're interested ana

  
**ANA** : k nice

  
**ANA** : cause you thought i was about to go out in this heat

  
**D.VA** : ikr?!

  
**D.VA** : and it's not even summer yet

  
**ANA** : global warming my guy

  
**D.VA** : )):

 

 

**[PHARAH HAS ENTERED i need that sauce]**

 

 

 **PHARAH** : Good morning everyone.

  
**PHARAH** : afternoon*

  
**ANA** : global warming can suck my nonexistent dick

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: global warming can suck my nonexistent dick (ANA AMARI)]**

 

 

 **PHARAH** : Big mood

  
**PHARAH** : I think the AC broke last night.

  
**D.VA** : yeah it's been nasty af in here

  
**PHARAH** : I'll take a look at it.

  
**D.VA** : ur a blessing

  
**PHARAH** : Why did you notify everyone, Hana?

  
**D.VA** : s u r p r i s e

  
**PHARAH** : I doubt everyone will be up within the hour.

  
**D.VA** : idc i got my megaphone and im ready to yell at these thots

 

 

**[MERCY HAS ENTERED i need that sauce]**

 

 

 **MERCY** : Hana, please do not yell.

  
**MERCY** : And Fareeha, thank you for setting the bath up for me.

  
**MERCY** : <3

  
**PHARAH** : No problem dear <3

  
**D.VA** : moms i hunger

  
**D.VA** : we need

  
**D.VA** : f o o d

  
**PHARAH** : Okay, but you need to help me cook then

  
**PHARAH** : Let Angela relax for a bit

  
**D.VA** : pfff fine

 

 

**[MERCY HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : you two will be lost without my cooking expertise

  
**ANA** : ha you losers have fun cooking

  
**ANA** : im gonna play this game you two keep crying over

  
**GENJI** : A N A DONT YOULL BE SAD FORVER

  
**D.VA** : ^^^^

  
**D.VA** : pls no

  
**ANA** : tip for life kiddies

  
**ANA** : don't get attached to anything

  
**ANA** : then bam you won't cry

  
**S0MBRA** : wooooah

  
**S0MBRA** : hardcore

 

 

**[LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS HAS ENTERED i need that sauce]**

 

 

 **LÚCIO** : ive officially been up for more than 24 hours

  
**D.VA** : )):

  
**D.VA** : couldn't sleep my guy??

  
**LÚCIO** : lmao nope

  
**LÚCIO** : it's all good tho

  
**GENJI** : dude you need that good schleep

  
**LÚCIO** : do you think the real reward of joining overwatch was all the friends along the way

  
**D.VA** : dude

  
**D.VA** : have you ever noticed how fuckgn nasty lobsters are

  
**D.VA** : fuck lobsters

  
**GENJI** : every time you talk shit about them they get stronger

  
**ANA** : they grow as one

  
**D.VA** : all hail the crustacean singularity

  
**D.VA** : wait actually no **f uc**

  
**D.VA** : i!!! hate!!! them!!!

  
**PHARAH** : Lobster discourse?

  
**S0MBRA** : lobster discourse.

  
**D.VA** : i can't be the only one

  
**LÚCIO** : nah dude i'm with you 100%

  
**GENJI** : i shit you not

  
**GENJI** : one day waaaay back in the blackwatch days jesse and i had this exact same conversation

  
**ANA** : i'd believe it

  
**GENJI** : we were bunking and it was like 3ish in the morning

  
**GENJI** : and he just says

  
**GENJI** : "lobsters are like mermaids to scorpions fuck them"

  
**S0MBRA** : insightful

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS ENTERED i need that sauce]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : LOBSTERS

  
**MCCREE** : THEYRE FUKING

  
**MCCREE** : UGLE

  
**D.VA** : thank you,,,

  
**PHARAH** : What did the lobsters do to you?

  
**D.VA** : be ugly

  
**MCCREE** : exist

  
**LÚCIO** : murdered my family in cold blood

  
**GENJI** : ah the great crustacean wars of '24

  
**MCCREE** : wait im reading the chat

  
**MCCREE** : package?

  
**D.VA** : yes

  
**PHARAH** : It's obviously an anti lobster protection system

  
**D.VA** : i love you so much rn

  
**S0MBRA** : j ust tell us

  
**D.VA** : hhhhhhh

  
**D.VA** : fiiine

  
**D.VA** : i got us

  
**D.VA** : drumroll please

  
**GENJI** : this is a chat room how are we gonna have a drumroll

  
**MCCREE** : im doing it rn but you can't see me

  
**ANA** : for the record you're all idiots

  
**ANA** : <https://youtu.be/itAOGRiYRLI>

  
**GENJI** : rlly ana

  
**ANA** : yes 

  
**D.VA** : thank you

  
**D.VA** : I GOT US A DDR MACHINE!!!

  
**D.VA** : oh and a guitar hero one too c:

  
**LÚCIO** : O O F

  
**LÚCIO** : GET READY TO GET DESTROYED HANA

  
**D.VA** : B E T

  
**ANA** : did i hear

  
**ANA** : bet

  
**S0MBRA** : 200 on hana

  
**MCCREE** : 300 on lúcio

  
**MCCREE** : jk i have no money

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS CHANGED THE CHAT NAME TO overwatch: dancing all night]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : HWHNSJSAIQW

  
**D.VA** : WHY

  
**GENJI** : i deserve to be banned for that one

  
**D.VA** : i will personally drag you out of your room and kill you with a spork

  
**GENJI** : be my guest

  
**MCCREE** : i thought your emo phase was over

  
**LÚCIO** : genjis the onlg emo bitch illwlove

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS EXITED overwatch: dancing all night]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : omg you broke genji

  
**ANA** : has literally no one noticed those two

  
**ANA** : well 3

  
**ANA** : zenyatta included

  
**D.VA** : NO???

  
**LÚCIO** : the lobsters are gonna kill me in my sleep

 

 

**[LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS HAS EXITED overwatch: dancing all night]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : how have you not noticed tho

  
**S0MBRA** : all three of them are always together

  
**D.VA** : babe

  
**D.VA** : i'm oblivious to anything romance-wise

  
**PHARAH** : I was making breakfast

  
**PHARAH** : Did I hear guitar hero?

  
**D.VA** : 00:

  
**D.VA** : mom you play??

  
**PHARAH** : Yes

  
**PHARAH** : I hate to brag, but I am pretty good.

  
**ANA** : you were

  
**ANA** : a goddess at it

  
**ANA** : like i know im your mom and im always supposed to tell you you're great

  
**ANA** : but legit you're great great at guitar hero

 

 

**[MERCY HAS RE-ENTERED overwatch: dancing all night]**

 

 

 **MERCY** : Apparently I have missed a lot during my bath...

  
**MERCY** : 1) Please not the lobster discourse again.

  
**S0MBRA** : aren't lobsters like the cockroaches of the sea

  
**MCCREE** : i thought that was shrimp

  
**D.VA** : fuckinf

  
**D.VA** : everything!! underwater!! is!! gross!!

  
**D.VA** : except fish fish are cool

  
**MERCY** : 2) Hana, how have you not noticed those three around?

  
**D.VA** : MOM,,,

  
**D.VA** : PLS DONT ROAST ME LIKE THIS

  
**MERCY** : 3) Someone hit Genji for making a persona reference.

  
**MCCREE** : i got no problem doing it

  
**D.VA** : h

  
**D.VA** : i gotta play that now too

  
**PHARAH** : Hana will you need help setting up the machines?

  
**D.VA** : yes please

  
**S0MBRA** : ill help too

  
**S0MBRA** : <3

  
**D.VA** : bless up <3

  
**MCCREE** : can i get uhhh boneless pizza and a two liter coke

  
**ANA** : ya got bones in your shit

  
**D.VA** : is that another

  
**D.VA** : old meme

  
**D.VA** : tm

  
**ANA** : old maymay

  
**MERCY** : Boneless pizza?

  
**PHARAH** : Two liter machine broke we only got one

  
**S0MBRA** : good meme good meme

  
**S0MBRA** : im hungry

  
**PHARAH** : Everyone who's awake come to the kitchen, I made breakfast. At 4 in the afternoon.

  
**D.VA** : thank u

  
**D.VA** : THEN AFTER

  
**D.VA** : operation overwatch dancing all night

  
**MCCREE** : do not

  
**MCCREE** : i will

  
**MCCREE** : do absolutely nothing cause it's a funny joke and i hate genji for it

  
**D.VA** : same

  
**ANA** : you kids and your dancing

  
**ANA** : back in my day we set bugs on fire for recreation

  
**S0MBRA** : mega hardcore

  
**S0MBRA** : k see you guys in the kitchen

  
**PHARAH** : Hana, set the table please

  
**D.VA** : i gotchu

  
**MCCREE** : better have some FLUFFY ASS PANCAKES

 

 

**[D.VA, MERCY, PHARAH, S0MBRA, ANA AMARI, AND JESSE MCCREE HAVE EXITED overwatch: dancing all night]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit i haven't updated in 86 years im so sorry  
> school was kicking my ass but yooo, summer vacation now!!
> 
> also happy pride month everyone 
> 
> man those dance emotes  
> i love them  
> and im s o r ry for the persona ref im a weeb and hate myself 
> 
> genji/zen/lucio everyone  
> or as i like to call them, i require healing  
> good ship
> 
> AND LOBSTERS MAKE ME MAD IDC  
> FUCK LOBSTERS 
> 
> the lobsters were a result of me staying up till 4 in the morning ranting about them to my discord friends 
> 
> enjoy yall


	27. woah! thats vore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> crash bandicoot ate my ass in the dennys parking lot at 3 in the morning

**[D.VA HAS ENTERED overwatch: dancing all night]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : i still haven't slept

  
 **D.VA** : the suns already up

  
 **D.VA** : and im ready to die

  
 **D.VA** : this is what summers all about

 

 

**[LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS HAS ENTERED overwatch: dancing all night]**

 

 

 **LÚCIO** : no sleep in this chilis tonight

  
 **D.VA** : FUCK U I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THAT

  
 **LÚCIO** : <3

  
 **LÚCIO** : why do so many memes just have to do with chilis

  
 **D.VA** : u right

  
 **D.VA** : like chilis

  
 **D.VA** : and dennys

  
 **LÚCIO** : if you drink 7 red bulls and go to denny's at 3 AM you can beat the final boss

  
 **D.VA** : of life??

  
 **LÚCIO** : of life

  
 **D.VA** : wouldn't that be like some demon then

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ENTERED overwatch: dancing all night]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : a fucked up god for sure

  
 **D.VA** : tbh

  
 **D.VA** : also hi babe

  
 **S0MBRA** : y o

  
 **LÚCIO** : can we go to denny's

  
 **D.VA** : but like it's 6 in the morning already

  
 **D.VA** : a normal time to go get breakfast

  
 **S0MBRA** : 2-4 AM

  
 **S0MBRA** : only time you should go

  
 **LÚCIO** : smart

  
 **LÚCIO** : if you guys turn this into a date im gonna sob i can't third wheel for the 5th time this week

  
 **S0MBRA** : ((:

  
 **D.VA** : dw my guy

  
 **D.VA** : we just gotta hook you up with someone

 

 

**[MCCREE HAS ENTERED overwatch: dancing all night]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : okay good i thought i was the only one still up

  
 **D.VA** : L!O!S!E!R!

  
 **D.VA** : hi!!

  
 **MCCREE** : i hope yall know im going too

  
 **D.VA** : BLESS

  
 **D.VA** : cowboy father and his 3 children on an outing together

  
 **LÚCIO** : you just like disregarded the whole family tree

  
 **S0MBRA** : smh i worked HARD on that

  
 **S0MBRA** : ngl should redo it

  
 **LÚCIO** : pls

  
 **S0MBRA** : soon

 

 

**[MCCREE HAS RE-NAMED THE GROUP TO hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : FUCJKIGCUDDUFM

  
 **D.VA** : GOOD MEME

  
 **S0MBRA** : is that the one with the kid in front of the mirror

  
 **MCCREE** : <https://youtu.be/sObsXeFKiJ8>

  
**S0MBRA** : KWNSKW YES IT IS

  
 **LÚCIO** : im trying so hard to not laugh rn

  
 **LÚCIO** : waking the whole base up cause of a meme would be a nightmare

  
 **D.VA** : that's what we do on a daily basis the FUCK man

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : WHOM the fuck is woke

 

 **GENJI** : okay just the usual people

  
 **D.VA** : yooo

  
 **MCCREE** : yall im hungry now

  
 **LÚCIO** : actually same

  
 **LÚCIO** : im gonna go to the fridge does anyone want anything??

  
 **D.VA** : you're too good for us lúcio,,

  
 **S0MBRA** : ^

  
 **D.VA** : i want a

  
 **D.VA** : pickle pls

  
 **LÚCIO** : EW WHAT THE FUCK YOU LIKE PICKLES BY THEMSELVES?

  
 **LÚCIO** : hana how could you i thought we were friends

  
 **D.VA** : I M SORRY

  
 **D.VA** : but they're good o k a y

  
 **S0MBRA** : have you ever dipped a pickle in pudding

  
 **LÚCIO** : k hana lets put our differences aside and fight this newfound evil

  
 **D.VA** : babe ily

  
 **D.VA** : but what the hell

  
 **S0MBRA** : you're trying this today

  
 **D.VA** : fine,,

  
 **MCCREE** : id ask for food but im still in bed

  
 **MCCREE** : and hanzos asleep next to me

  
 **D.VA** : awwww

  
 **MCCREE** : s hhh

  
 **LÚCIO** : you two are adorable

  
 **MCCREE** : i know

  
 **S0MBRA** : can't even take a compliment nicely smh

  
 **GENJI** : bet he isn't even asleep

  
 **GENJI** : it's like 6 in the morning he always gets up around this time

  
 **D.VA** : u right

  
 **MCCREE** : kay but im trying to be a good boyfriend™

  
 **LÚCIO** : yes we're all v proud of you

  
 **MCCREE** : thank

  
 **GENJI** : id have something to eat

  
 **GENJI** : yknow if i could eat

  
 **GENJI** : cause someone tried to kill me and now i'm a robot ninja

 

 

**[HANZO HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **HANZO** : I'll take some tea please.

  
 **D.VA** : L M A O

  
 **D.VA** : what's poppin uncle

  
 **HANZO** : Hello, Hana.

  
 **MCCREE** : she gets a good morning before me

  
 **MCCREE** : cold hearted baby

  
 **GENJI** : gross

  
 **MCCREE** : i got a kiss it's all good =|:)

  
 **GENJI** : loser emoji

  
 **MCCREE** : takes a loser to know a loser

  
 **D.VA** : w o a h

  
 **GENJI** : NO DONT SAY THAT WORD

  
 **MCCREE** : woah!

  
 **D.VA** : is that uhhhh

  
 **D.VA** : crash bandicoot meme

  
 **D.VA** : OLD

  
 **LÚCIO** : wasn't there like a revive of them a few years ago??

  
 **GENJI** : unfortunately

  
 **MCCREE** : <https://youtu.be/97p7SyED6I8>

  
**D.VA** : <https://youtu.be/PjX70rRtM-g>

  
**GENJI** : i hate both of you

  
 **LÚCIO** : im crying

  
 **LÚCIO** : oh my god

  
 **HANZO** : Decent memes.

  
 **GENJI** : i want death

  
 **GENJI** : hanzo finish the job

  
 **HANZO** : No

  
 **S0MBRA** : i can do a good crash impression and i don't know how to feel about it

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **ANA** : i see your woah memes

  
 **ANA** : and i raise you

  
 **ANA** : <https://youtu.be/czTksCF6X8Y>

  
**MCCREE** : oh my god

  
 **MCCREE** : i want that to be played at my wedding

  
 **HANZO** : If you play that there won't be a wedding.

  
 **D.VA** : savage

  
 **ANA** : ive been listening to this on repeat

  
 **ANA** : since two in the morning

  
 **LÚCIO** : legendary

  
 **D.VA** : no lie i actually played that game before on a dare

  
 **D.VA** : worst day of my life

  
 **S0MBRA** : that game is a masterpiece what are you talking about

  
 **GENJI** : tbh

  
 **GENJI** : game of the year every year

  
 **S0MBRA** : if everyone isn't up by noon

  
 **S0MBRA** : im hacking everyone's phones to play it

  
 **D.VA** : BET

  
 **D.VA** : pls do it,,

  
 **D.VA** : i need to record it

  
 **S0MBRA** : idk about you guys but spiderman is my B O Y

  
 **GENJI** : do you remember the movies

  
 **GENJI** : but like the old old ones

  
 **GENJI** : like mega old

  
 **GENJI** : that one where he's all edgy

  
 **MCCREE** : that's 3

  
 **ANA** : oh my god that movie was a hot mess

  
 **ANA** : i enjoyed it though

  
 **HANZO** : Too many different villains.

  
 **GENJI** : you remember from when we watched all the movies,,

  
 **HANZO** : Of course.

  
 **HANZO** : It was fun.

  
 **LÚCIO** : real talk

  
 **LÚCIO** : whys spiderman rebooted like once every 10 years

  
 **MCCREE** : honestly

  
 **MCCREE** : it gives me depression

  
 **D.VA** : FRRRR

  
 **D.VA** : how many twinks can they find to be spiderman

  
 **D.VA** : they're gonna run out at this rate

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: how many twinks can they find to be spiderman (D.VA)]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : uhm he's a twunk

  
 **LÚCIO** : deadpools a twunk

  
 **ANA** : known fact

  
 **MCCREE** : idc they can both kill me and id thank them

  
 **LÚCIO** : fuck me too

  
 **D.VA** : look at you two

  
 **D.VA** : bonding over being gay

  
 **D.VA** : i love overwatch

  
 **ANA** : who's that blue lady from xmen

  
 **ANA** : cause she could eat my ass for breakfast and i wouldn't object

  
 **GENJI** : oh my god ana,,

  
 **D.VA** : H OLY SHIT

  
 **ANA** : you know you wanted to say the same shit im the only one who had the guts to do it

  
 **D.VA** : kdnskwkw

  
 **D.VA** : ur not wrong,,

  
 **HANZO** : Wouldn't ass eating be considered vore.

  
 **GENJI** : IM

  
 **GENJI** : done

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS EXITED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : ass eating remix and it's just woah! a million times

  
 **ANA** : i hate you

  
 **MCCREE** : i do to it's okay

  
 **S0MBRA** : i mean

  
 **S0MBRA** : i guess it could be vore??

  
 **D.VA** : but ur not eating eating the ass

  
 **LÚCIO** : bite into it like a peach

  
 **D.VA** : this is wild

  
 **D.VA** : i don't even wanna eat now,,,

  
 **D.VA** : you guys are the worst

  
 **S0MBRA** : <3

  
 **ANA** : i only eat ass to the pizza music from spiderman 2

  
 **D.VA** : ftyguhvyuhu

  
 **MCCREE** : i thought i was the only one

  
 **HANZO** : If you eat my ass to that I'm leaving Overwatch.

  
 **LÚCIO** : smh closed minded music hater

  
 **ANA** : open your musical horizons hanzo

  
 **ANA** : join us

  
 **HANZO** : I'm going back to bed.

 

 

**[HANZO HAS EXITED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : ps he's not asleep

  
 **MCCREE** : he's rubbing his temples saying "jesse i love these people, but what the fuck is wrong with this place"

  
 **D.VA** : A WWWW HE LOVES US

  
 **MCCREE** : im gonna go be a good boyfriend™ again

  
 **ANA** : you're making your mother so proud,,

 

 

**[MCCREE HAS EXITED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 **S0MBRA** : would it be to early to go to chilis

  
 **D.VA** : probably

  
 **LÚCIO** : lets do it

  
 **ANA** : i don't even think they're open yet

  
 **ANA** : but im going too

  
 **ANA** : lets all go get disappointed together children

  
 **D.VA** : W OOO DISAPPOINTMENT

 

 

**[D.VA, S0MBRA, ANA AMARI, AND LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS HAVE EXITED hi welcome to chilis]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: i wrote this while listening to an extended version of the pizza song from the spiderman 2 game at 4 in the morning 
> 
> im so sorry for the lack of updates this summer,, i got no real excuse im just a lazy ass kid lmao 
> 
> completely different side note: i went to florida supercon and saw d.va, lucio, and roadhogs VAs!! they were rlly nice  
> the overwatch panel was wild tho, jonny cruz was defending lucio saying he had a nice ass so someone in the crowd gave him a body pillow to check  
> it was great
> 
> but heck my guys schools coming out soon, so ill 100% try to put up a new ch before then
> 
> maybe upload on my birthday to be productive™
> 
> gonna b adding doomfist and everyone else ive forgotten soon too!! im just dumb and always forget 
> 
> and uhhhhhh homecoming was rlly good and peter is a twink
> 
> new beach mccree skin makes him look like a twink and i wanna cry  
> digging the blonde tho
> 
> so yall know we got a beach ch soon
> 
> holy fffuck yall we almost at 30k hits,,  
> thank you so much for reading my shitposts, and for every comment lov yall 
> 
> find me on tumblr @dark-night-skye !!  
> twitter too @gaycowboi


	28. beach goths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> goths are the only good thing in this world

**[D.VA HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : idc that were at the beach im still gonna be in the chat room to document this

  
**D.VA** : a joyous day; an overwatch outing™

  
**D.VA** : it's like a field trip but the chaperones don't care about us

 

 

**[ANA HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **ANA** : wow im right here

  
**ANA** : gl when you start drowning cause im not gonna save you now

  
**D.VA** : ):

  
**D.VA** : oh my god did you see the dude to the right

  
**D.VA** : a mullet in this good year of 2077???

  
**D.VA** : why

  
**ANA** : disgusting

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : it's ur local beach goth

 **  
D.VA** : babe you look killer

  
**D.VA** : black bikini

  
**D.VA** : v nice

  
**S0MBRA** : gracias <3

  
**S0MBRA** : we can go in the water in a bit if you wanna, im just with my beach goths

  
**D.VA** : get them to join the chat p l s

  
**ANA** : we can combine our forces and shit talk everyone at this place

 

 

**[WIDOWMAKER HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **WIDOW** : I see you already pointed out the mullet man.

  
**WIDOW** : Disgusting.

  
**D.VA** : fr

 

 

**[REAPER HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **REAPER** : are we really doing this

  
**S0MBRA** : yes

  
**D.VA** : can i just say you three are goals rn  
ANA: fresh as fuck

  
**WIDOW** : I picked everything out for them.

  
**D.VA** : i see you are a woman of culture as well

  
**WIDOW** : You're wearing a hot pink one piece. That is hardly cultured.

  
**S0MBRA** : i can't believe you just ended my gfs life

  
**D.VA** : i can't believe you've done this

  
**ANA** : guys mullet dude just dabbed and honestly im about to jump into the water and never come out

  
**D.VA** : THE FFFFUCKJWNSKSS

  
**D.VA** : that's disgusting

  
**S0MBRA** : binch WDYM

  
**S0MBRA** : dab all day everyday

  
**D.VA** : i think we should see other ppl

  
**S0MBRA** : ill dab on you

  
**REAPER** : not with this again

  
**D.VA** : just someone please tell me

  
**D.VA** : how in the fuck dabbing is still a thing

  
**ANA** : fr

  
**ANA** : why couldn't it have died

  
**ANA** : we let the good memes die

  
**ANA** : and we still have fucking dabbing

  
**WIDOW** : That is the dance that looks like sneezing, no?

  
**S0MBRA** : yup

  
**S0MBRA** : greatest dance of this century

  
**REAPER** : i think you're going to have to get a job elsewhere

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : why are you guys talking about dabbing

  
**GENJI** : were at the beach

  
**GENJI** : swim or some shit

  
**GENJI** : jk im dabbing rn

 **  
D.VA** :die

  
**GENJI** : you should ask hanzo to do that for you

  
**S0MBRA** : i just love how you're so savage to him and don't give a shit

  
**GENJI** : same

  
**GENJI** : it's fun

  
**ANA** : you call that savage

  
**S0MBRA** : we all know satya's probably the most tho

  
**D.VA** : tbh

  
**D**. **VA** : she could end my life and i'd thank her

  
**ANA** : i think that's what we all think dear

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : PLEASE TELL ME HANAS HERE

  
**D.VA** : UNCLE

  
**D.VA** : what do you require, twink

  
**MCCREE** : i fuckinf

  
**MCCREE** : found

  
**MCCREE** : lobsters

  
**MCCREE** : i wanna leave already

  
**D.VA** : BINCH IM OMW

  
**D.VA** : IM GONNA FIGHT THESE LOBSTERS  
S0MBRA: babe pls no,, the snippy boys are too powerful

 

 

**[REAPER HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 

 **WIDOW** : The lobsters will win.

 

 

**[WIDOWMAKER HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 

 **ANA** : lmao where'd they go

  
**S0MBRA** : aw shit i should check up on them

  
**GENJI** : dw ill record them fighting the lobsters

  
**S0MBRA** : i believe in you dummies

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 

**[EMILY AND TRACER HAVE ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **EMILY** : Is fighting lobsters a good idea though?

  
**D.VA** : idc

  
**D.VA** : it's my mission

  
**MCCREE** : it's the only reason we're on this planet okay

  
**TRACER** : Don't worry Emily, they're always like this :D

  
**TRACER** : Well, at least Jesse

  
**TRACER** : The great lobster discourse has been around for years

  
**MCCREE** : im all for the ocean dude but just

  
**MCCREE** : they scare me

 

 

**[LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **LÚCIO** : [[IMG_42069] ](https://www.dropbox.com/s/rc6xeik3c4hog3p/ineedfriends.jpg?dl=0)

  
**LÚCIO** : hi

  
**D.VA** : MY BOOOOOY

  
**D.VA** : hi

  
**GENJI** : binch the hell

  
**GENJI** : that's my boy

  
**LÚCIO** : SHHHHH

  
**D.VA** : oof oof oof

  
**D.VA** : ARE YALL

  
**D.VA** : doing the

  
**D.VA** : dating

  
**GENJI** : maybe

  
**LÚCIO** : what's a date

  
**MCCREE** : yup they are

  
**LÚCIO** : zenny too tho

  
**D.VA** : A WWW

  
**D.VA** : all my boys are happy,,

  
**GENJI** : yes v happy

  
**D.VA** : i gotta say congrats to zen too

  
**D.VA** : did he come w us??

  
**LÚCIO** : yup yup he's with me rn

  
**D.VA** : genji where in the heck are u at then

  
**MCCREE** : with me

  
**MCCREE** : we're gonna fight lobsters

 

 

**[REAPER AND WIDOWMAKER HAVE RE-ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **REAPER** : sombra is adding someone to the chat

  
**ANA** : whom

  
**WIDOW** : A friend.

  
**LÚCIO** : LSNDOAKA

  
**LÚCIO** : I SAW YOU GUYS TALKING TO THIS BIG GUY

  
**LÚCIO** : he's hot man

  
**GENJI** : 1-10

  
**LÚCIO** : a solid 939329380

  
**GENJI** : woah

  
**TRACER** : Is he another bad guy? :0

  
**EMILY** : Really, who don't you guys add to the chatroom

  
**D.VA** : tbh

  
**D.VA** : remember that robot we found??

  
**GENJI** : !!

  
**GENJI** : yes they're super nice

  
**GENJI** : i love them and their bird

  
**ANA** : pls tell me we're adding them to the chatroom

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS RE-ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : yup yup

  
**S0MBRA** : and also im adding akande in rn

  
**GENJI** : wait hold up

  
**GENJI** : that wouldn't happen to be THE akande right

  
**MCCREE** : that evil fist guy

 

 

**[TRACER HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: that evil fist guy (JESSE MCCREE)]**

 

 

 **EMILY** : Isn't that the guy who messed you guys up Lena?

  
**TRACER** : Yeah ):

  
**D.VA** : aight but real talk

  
**D.VA** : does he know what a meme is

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ADDED DOOMFIST TO hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **DOOMFIST** : I know what a meme is.

  
**DOOMFIST** : The chat name is one.

  
**D.VA** : welcome aboard evil fist

  
**LÚCIO** : hardcore anal pounding

  
**GENJI** : need me a freak like that

  
**LÚCIO** : how about i sonk ur pengis

  
**MCCREE** : how's that gonna work if he's got no dick tho

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS EXITED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **REAPER** : [[IMG_2760] ](https://www.dropbox.com/s/memmt7w9h147ti6/Photo%20Sep%2004%2C%2011%2032%2022%20AM.jpg?dl=0)

  
**DOOMFIST** : Why did I need to join.

  
**ANA** : wait wait hold on i see you guys

  
**ANA** : OHMYGOD

  
**ANA** : he's a fucking joth guys

  
**TRACER** : a goth and joth alliance

  
**EMILY** : What's a joth?

  
**D.VA** : combination goth and jock

  
**WIDOW** : It's just amusing here.

  
**S0MBRA** : ^

  
**S0MBRA** : i lov all of you

  
**D.VA** : that's pretty gay man

  
**ANA** : you're pretty gay man

  
**MCCREE** : get nae naed

  
**D.VA** : dang

  
**MCCREE** : beach goths are hot

  
**LÚCIO** : you're just saying that cause your bf is a freaking beach goth

  
**MCCREE** : UHHHHHHHHH

  
**MCCREE** : you're not wrong

  
**ANA** : just remember kids

  
**ANA** : goths are too good for this world

  
**REAPER** : good advice

  
**TRACER** : Of course you'd say that though

  
**D.VA** : hhhhhypocrite

  
**S0MBRA** : u right u right

  
**WIDOW** : Goth fetishists.

  
**EMILY** : Called out

  
**D.VA** : e x p o s e d

  
**ANA** : is it rlly exposing tho when everyone knows

  
**MCCREE** : probably not

  
**D.VA** : hey guys,,

  
**D.VA** : was that thunder??

  
**MCCREE** : yeah

  
**MCCREE** : and now it's fuckin raining

  
**MCCREE** : im still trying to fight the lobsters

  
**MCCREE** : god damn

  
**ANA** : oh yeah the news did say 80% chance of rain today

  
**DOOMFIST** : Why would you not mention that.

  
**ANA** : hey hey

  
**ANA** : shut up you came here on your own

  
**D.VA** : man i sure love storms

  
**S0MBRA** : are we gonna wait it out?

  
**REAPER** : it's supposed to get worse

  
**WIDOW** : I'd rather go back anyway.

  
**TRACER** : )):

  
**TRACER** : Alright, lets pack it up everyone.

  
**EMILY** : Sad

  
**LÚCIO** : yo we should do something cool at the base

  
**MCCREE** : yall already know what im gonna say

  
**D.VA** : OOOO

  
**D.VA** : uncle remember when u and genji had that bet

  
**MCCREE** : strip poker?

  
**D.VA** : strip poker.

  
**ANA** : yes

  
**ANA** : now really lets go it's fucking pouring now

 

 

**[DOOMFIST, D.VA, EMILY, REAPER, S0MBRA,WIDOWMAKER, ANA AMARI, LÚCIO CORREIA DOS SANTOS, AND JESSE MCCREE HAVE EXITED hi welcome to chilis]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i started writing this fic last year during hurricane matthew (which was no big deal lmao i ordered a pizza during it) 
> 
> i live in miami  
> so im updating this before irma fucking tears florida away from the us lmao  
> but dw ill go dab on it and we'll all be safe (kill me)
> 
> but fr yall in the caribbean, and in florida pls be safe!! totally evacuate if you have to, go to shelters if you think your house won't stay together. just stay safe my guys. 
> 
> dang my guys next month is gonna be a year of this fic,, thank you guys so much for constantly reading this shitpost. i lov yall
> 
> oh yeah and if this doesn't get updated by then, ill be at animate florida!! most likely just october 7th. so if you see a tall girl dressed as a female ryuji (from persona 5) just say "crash bandicoot ate my ass" and i guarantee ill die 
> 
> enjoy!! 
> 
> wanna see some more shitposts?  
> tumblr: @dark-night-skye !  
> twitter: @gaycowboi !


	29. !! update !!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a lil update, no new chapter till the 10th hopefully !!
> 
> pls just stick around, just wanna say some things real quick

hey yall it’s me, the thottie behind this massive shitpost

 

so, this fic is gonna be a year old on the 10th which is just freaking crazy

 

im just amazed that you guys keep coming back to read, and im just really grateful to all of you 

thank you so much for just reading, all the comments 

 

it makes my day when i know that this has made someone laugh or smile

 

so here’s to maybe another year of shitposts!! 

 

 

new ch will be up the 10th!! the year anniversary of this fic

 

which is also coincidentally the start of the halloween event (hunter mccree skin im so hyped)

 

so get ready for multiple spooky updates this month!! 

 

once again, thanks to yall so much,, enjoy this spooky season <3

 

-ur local dumbass,

skye 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompts or suggestions?
> 
> tumblr: @dark-night-skye !!  
> twitter: @gaycowboi !!


	30. p•u•m•p•k•i•n•s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally, after a year of being in overwatch hana asks the real questions 
> 
> can pumpkins really be buttplugs?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special announcement involving discord at the end!!

**[D.VA HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : is it possible to vore a pumpkin

  
**D.VA** : what am i saying ill just shove it up my ass instead

  
**D.VA** : SPOOKY SEASON

  
**D.VA** : real talk why am i always the one starting the conversations here what the HECK it’s been like this since i joined

 

 

**[TRACER HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **TRACER** : I mean you’re the one that revived this place to begin with

  
**TRACER** : And you’re still keeping it alive after a year :D

  
**D.VA** : FUCKGN

  
**D.VA** : ITS BEEN A YEAR????

  
**TRACER** : I’m pretty sure

  
**D.VA** : _**@ATHENA**_ hey how long have i been active here

  
**ATHENA** : _**@D.VA**_ You have been active in the chat “hi welcome to chilis” for 365 days.

  
**D.VA** : WH

  
**D.VA** : wild

  
**TRACER** : Congrats!! You’ve survived this long dealing with all of us

  
**D.VA** : i don’t deal i love

  
**D.VA** : lucio also joined around when i did

  
**D.VA** : hanzo too

  
**TRACER** : A lot joined in October

  
**D.VA** : hell yeah it’s the sexiest time of year

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **ANA** : untrue

  
**ANA** : friday the 13th in october is the sexiest time of year

  
**D.VA** : but we don’t have one this year

  
**ANA** : okay then what you said

  
**D.VA** : speaking of october

 **  
D.VA** : halloween

  
**D.VA** : mmmmm boy

  
**ANA** : hana i elect you to help me with decorations this year

  
**ANA** : because obviously trusting jesse and genji was dumb lmao

 **  
D.VA** : NICE

  
**D.VA** : ill make u proud <3

  
**D.VA** : _ **@ATHENA**_ yo who’s been most active in the past year??

  
**ATHENA** : **@D.VA** I can compile a list of the 5 most active members in the past 365 days. Would you like me to do so?

  
**D.VA** : woooah so formal

  
**D.VA** : _**@ATHENA**_ yes pls!! thanks a bunch  <3

  
**ATHENA** : The most active members are:  
1- **_@D.VA_**  
2- _**@MCCREE**_  
3- _**@ANA**_  
4- _**@GENJI**_  
5- _ **@HANZO**_  
D.VA: HAAAAAAA

  
**D.VA** : also how is hanzo there he literally only logs on to bully us

  
**ANA** : he finds a lot of reasons to bully us i guess

  
**ANA** : how is jesse ranked higher than me,,

  
**ANA** : i’ve been SO ALIVE HERE

  
**ANA** : the longest i’ve lasted in any gc

  
**TRACER** : He was here before you came back too )):

  
**ANA** : o ya

  
**ANA** : i came back a little while after hana joined

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : why was i mentioned

  
**MCCREE** : it’s like

  
**MCCREE** : 1 in the afternoon why are you awake

  
**D.VA** : cause i don’t value my life

  
**D.VA** : jk i got up at like 11 and idk how

  
**ANA** : i can’t believe the ass eating ghost woke you up

  
**TRACER** : It haunts the halls searching for the perfect ass to prey on all year

  
**MCCREE** : then it finally attacks in october

  
**D.VA** : damn that ghosts a freak

  
**D.VA** : im love

  
**MCCREE** : oh yeah idk what yall we’re doing but

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: is it possible to vore a pumpkin (D.VA]**

 

 

 **ANA** : son you have made me proud on this day

  
**D.VA** : pumpkins can be buttplugs if you try hard enough

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: pumpkins can be buttplugs if you try hard enough (D.VA)]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : just man

  
**D.VA** : i!! love!! october!!

  
**ANA** : relatable

  
**ANA** : gotta make a new costume

  
**ANA** : well ask gabe for one

 

 

**[REINHARDT WILHELM HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **REINHARDT** : ah yes my favorite time of year

  
**REINHARDT** : are you ready for the 7862048th skeleton war

  
**D.VA** : oh heck yeah

  
**MCCREE** : those are still going on?

  
**ANA** : skeletons live forever

  
**ANA** : they’re skeletons

  
**TRACER** : Rein, are you gonna do your yearly d&d again??

  
**REINHARDT** : would it really be halloween without it

  
**D.VA** : WHHHHAT

  
**D.VA** : UR A DM???

  
**REINHARDT** : yes wee one

  
**REINHARDT** : we do it every halloween

  
**D.VA** : who did it last year???

  
**D.VA** : and when why was i not informed

  
**MCCREE** : it was after the halloween party

  
**MCCREE** : like right after

  
**MCCREE** : most of yall just fell dead asleep after

  
**ANA** : it was me, rein, jesse, hanzo, jack, angela

  
**REINHARDT** : i swear there were more

  
**TRACER** : I think I remember you all talking about Junkrat and Roadhog?

  
**ANA** : ah yes them

  
**MCCREE** : im gonna be honest i don’t remember much of the game

  
**MCCREE** : we got pretty wild that night

  
**ANA** : it’s overwatch jesse

  
**ANA** : it’s always wild

  
**REINHARDT** : ^

  
**REINHARDT** : wise

 

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **HANZO** : You were all wasted during the game.

  
**MCCREE** : not really a surprise

  
**MCCREE** : and come to the kitchen babe im making breakfast

  
**HANZO** : It’s the afternoon.

  
**MCCREE** : late breakfast

  
**TRACER** : I hope we all last to play d&d )):

  
**D.VA** : same

  
**D.VA** : ive never played??

  
**D.VA** : always wanted to

  
**ANA** : i swear one more person showed up for the game

  
**REINHARDT** : i feel like it was gabriel

  
**REINHARDT** : maybe

  
**MCCREE** : nah there’s no way

  
**MCCREE** : we weren’t harboring pretty much all of talon then

  
**MCCREE** : not even sombra i don’t think

  
**D.VA** : SPEAKING OF SOMBRA

  
**D.VA** : i heard a certain pink haired lady leaked some info to everyone here ;)))

  
**ANA** : YES YES YES

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : oooo do i hear chisme??

  
**S0MBRA** : que mierda

  
**S0MBRA** : it’s about me

  
**D.VA** : BABE DONT BE EMBARRASSED

  
**D.VA** : your name is cute as heck

  
**S0MBRA** : my name stays with all of you and that’s it

  
**S0MBRA** : no one else knows

  
**S0MBRA** : i SWEAR

  
**MCCREE** : lmao

  
**MCCREE** : okay

  
**MCCREE** : olivia

  
**S0MBRA** : BYE

 

 

**[SYMMETRA HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : is

  
**D.VA** : is that our very goddess satya,,

  
**S0MBRA** : hi satya <33

  
**ANA** : awwww you three are cute

  
**HANZO** : The three of them are a thing?

  
**MCCREE** : more chisme

  
**TRACER** : I didn’t think they were 00:

  
**SYMMETRA** : We can all read what you’re sending you know.

  
**SYMMETRA** : But yes, we are.

  
**ANA** : NICE

  
**TRACER** : Beautiful,,

  
**S0MBRA** : i got TWO beautiful gfs

  
**MCCREE** : [[IMG_6328] ](https://www.dropbox.com/s/bwjbjekvybre38d/twohands.jpg?dl=0)

  
**ANA** : yet another beautiful meme born from this chat

  
**ANA** : beautiful

  
**D.VA** : what if like

  
**D.VA** : everyone who’s dating in overwatch

  
**D.VA** : goes on one gigantic date

  
**S0MBRA** : it’s like a double date but not

  
**SYMMETRA** : A group date?

  
**D.VA** : O U R GF IS SO SMART

  
**ANA** : are you 3 gonna do a matching costume

  
**SYMMETRA** : That may be quite the challenge, but I have a few ideas in mind.

  
**D.VA** : ;)))

  
**TRACER** : Oh yeah! Fareeha was telling me she was in charge of the costume contest.

  
**MCCREE** : what am i in charge of

  
**ANA** : hmmmm

  
**TRACER** : 00:

  
**TRACER** : Ana do you remember that old show from the 20th century

  
**TRACER** : It was a ton of friends in nyc

  
**D.VA** : friends

 **  
D.VA** : oh my god i can’t believe overwatch is friends but bigger

  
**ANA** : i think i see what you’re getting at

  
**ANA** : jesse you’re in charge of ice and genji is i charge of cups

  
**ANA** : actually share it

  
**S0MBRA** : if you don’t clap along to the friends opening then im sorry i can’t talk to you

  
**MCCREE** : people who don’t clap along exist??

  
**REINHARDT** : non clappers don’t interact

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS ENTERED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : hanzo is ross

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS EXITED hi welcome to chilis]**

 

 

 **TRACER** : I cant believe Jesse is Rachel

  
**D.VA** : i hunger

  
**ANA** : we all hunger

  
**S0MBRA** : do we have halloween candy yet?

  
**SYMMETRA** : I haven’t seen any around the base.

  
**ANA** : SPEAKING OF HALLOWEEN

  
**ANA** : we need a spooky name

  
**S0MBRA** : aight i got this

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS RE-NAMED THE GROUP TO pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **REINHARDT** : i think we’re getting seasonal kiddies

  
**D.VA** : this is gonna be the one thing i’ll constantly be made fun of cause

  
**D.VA** : did that even make sense cause i feel like it didn’t

  
**MCCREE** : kinda

  
**S0MBRA** : nice of overwatch to invite us to their base eh hana

 

 

**[D.VA HAS EXITED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **ANA** : h

  
**ANA** : hotel mario

  
**MCCREE** : yall can mosey over to the kitchen i’m making enough for everyone that’s up

  
**SYMMETRA** : Alright. I have a few plans for Halloween I’d like to discuss with everyone as well.

  
**TRACER** : Spooky breakfast!

  
**TRACER** : Lunch

  
**S0MBRA** : spooky lreakfast

 

 

**[HANZO SHIMADA HAS EXITED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : lreakfast

 

 

**[SYMMETRA, TRACER, AND REINHARDT WILHELM HAVE EXITED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : man im so funny

  
**ANA** : children children

  
**ANA** : we are

  
**ANA** : planning our entire halloween

  
**ANA** : be prepared

  
**MCCREE** : yes ma’am

  
**S0MBRA** : aye aye

  
**S0MBRA** : now time to

  
**S0MBRA** : oof boop

 

 

**[S0MBRA, ANA AMARI, AND JESSE MCCREE HAVE EXITED pumpkin up the butt]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy anniversary to this giant mess,,  
> thank you guys so much for reading rlly
> 
>  
> 
> NOW  
> discord!!  
> in celebration of 1 year of this, ive made a server for anyone who reads this, likes overwatch, whatever rlly  
> discord’s cool, friends are cool  
> you can make mega cool friends man
> 
> want an invite? dm me on twitter/tumblr!!
> 
> get ready for more spook ;))
> 
> Translation notes:  
> \- chisme: gossip  
> \- que meirda: what shit/shit (idk man most ppl i know, and i myself say it as just a replacement for shit) 
> 
> prompts/suggestions?  
> tumblr: @dark-night-skye !!  
> twitter: @gaycowboi !!


	31. a comprehensive guide to eating ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> h-hawwoween time is upon us
> 
> the ghosts are gonna eat asses

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS ENTERED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : guys fuckin

  
**MCCREE** : it’s basically winter now

  
**MCCREE** : october’s pretty much over

  
**MCCREE** : what the fuck it’s gone by too fast

  
**MCCREE** : i haven’t even carved a pumpkin yet what is this

  
**MCCREE** : time is bullshit

 

 

**[D.VA HAS ENTERED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : have u been drinking??

  
**D.VA** : cause it sounds like it

  
**MCCREE** : no

  
**MCCREE** : im just sad that it doesn’t feel so spooky

  
**D.VA** : literally it’s halloween it should feel spooky

  
**D.VA** : )):

  
**D.VA** : blame global warming man fuckinf

  
**D.VA** : too hot for autumn

 

 

**[REAPER HAS ENTERED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **REAPER** : it is a little hot but we’ll make do.

  
**REAPER** : i mean we’re doing a party again. plus dnd.

  
**D.VA** : OH YAYA

  
**D.VA** : i kinda understand how to play

  
**D.VA** : not really

  
**D.VA** : i have my shit filled out tho, i think we all do

  
**MCCREE** : yeah it’s kinda complicated

  
**REAPER** : _**@ANA**_

  
**REAPER** : wait actually

  
**REAPER** : **_@REINHARDT_**

  
**REAPER** : he dms he’ll know what he’s talking about.

  
**MCCREE** : are you gonna play too?

  
**REAPER** : yeah

  
**REAPER** : i think we’re using the same campaign from last year.

  
**REAPER** : since we have to somewhat teach people.

  
**MCCREE** : smart

  
**D.VA** : dude bards are sick as fuck

  
**D.VA** : you’re telling me i can charm my way outta harm?? sign me u p

  
**D.VA** : wait actually i feel like that would suit lucio more

  
**D.VA** : i’m going druid

  
**MCCREE** : ha furry

  
**D.VA** : NO

  
**D.VA** : im not hanzo

  
**D.VA** : i just want a bunny army

  
**REAPER** : i mean you can turn into animals so

  
**REAPER** : you’re a furry now.

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS ENTERED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **ANA** : how did i know this would happen

  
**ANA** : sigh

  
**ANA** : so now we have 2 furries in overwatch

  
**D.VA** : shhhh

  
**D.VA** : what are your guys classes tho

  
**ANA** : cleric

  
**MCCREE** : rouge

  
**REAPER** : fighter

  
**REAPER** : but aside from dnd we have more important things

  
**ANA** : this is gabespeak for

  
**ANA** : “alright you little shits you better try on these costumes i made for you right now. i know they’re definitely going to fit but do it anyway.”

  
**ANA** : am i right

  
**REAPER** :

  
**REAPER** : you’re right.

  
**MCCREE** : lmao

  
**D.VA** : !!

  
**D.VA** : they’re all ready??

  
**REAPER** : no i’m just randomly talking about it on halloween itself cause it’s not ready

  
**ANA** : oof i love passive aggressive gabe

  
**D.VA** : sweet it’s ready then

  
**REAPER** : i already gave satya and olivia theirs.

  
**D.VA** : sweet sweet thank u

 

 

**[REINHARDT WILHELM HAS ENTERED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **REINHARDT** : alright kiddies

  
**REINHARDT** : and ana

  
**ANA** : it’s time for a l e s s o n

  
**REINHARDT** : actually this is going to go pretty smoothly

  
**REINHARDT** : we have the 3 dms in here

  
**D.VA** : theres 3 dms?? but i thought you were the one doing it

  
**REINHARDT** : i am, but gabe and jesse have also dmed other games we’ve had

  
**D.VA** : legit

  
**ANA** : yup

  
**ANA** : lemme tell you

  
**ANA** : gabe is the most extra dm ever

  
**MCCREE** : he allows almost anything though it’s fun

  
**REINHARDT** : ah yes

  
**REINHARDT** : “Can I roll to eat ass?”

  
**REAPER** : genji and jesse should never be allowed to play together.

  
**D.VA** : OMG

  
**D.VA** : of course they would,,

  
**MCCREE** : hey in my defense

  
**MCCREE** : my dude charmed the shit outta some drow dude

  
**MCCREE** : i had to

  
**D.VA** : aren’t drows evil

  
**MCCREE** : yeah but they’re hot

  
**MCCREE** : don’t you find the evil ones hot i mean

  
**MCCREE** : you’re dating sombra

  
**D.VA** : shhhhhhh

  
**ANA** : haha losers

  
**ANA** : losers who don’t know how to eat ass properly

  
**MCCREE** : i’ll have you know i’ve trained in the art of eating ass for 89 years

  
**MCCREE** : i think i know my way around an ass

  
**REAPER** : i call bullshit

  
**REINHARDT** : is it time for another lesson

  
**ANA** : oh yes indeed my good sir

  
**ANA** : this is going to be

  
**ANA** : an ass eating lesson

  
**REAPER** : wait you’ve had a lesson before

  
**D.VA** : yaya

  
**D.VA** : the maymay lesson

  
**MCCREE** : please tell me that means meme

  
**MCCREE** : please let me get this right

  
**ANA** : incorrect

  
**ANA** : no dw you’re right

  
**MCCREE** : man i’m so good at memes

  
**D.VA** : wait when you guys played

  
**D.VA** : what did he have to roll to eat ass

  
**REINHARDT** : natural 20

  
**ANA** : the only and proper way to eat ass

  
**D.VA** : 00:

  
**D.VA** : did he tho?

  
**MCCREE** : listen i got bad luck when it comes to rolling dice

  
**D.VA** : was it a 1

  
**REINHARDT** : it was a 1

  
**REAPER** : he ate the bed instead

  
**D.VA** : im not surprised tbh

  
**MCCREE** : jokes on yall i still ended up getting a goth elf bf

  
**ANA** : it’s only cause gabe is a nice dm

  
**REAPER** : unfortunately

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ENTERED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : hi im sombra im 19 and i never learned how to fucking read

  
**S0MBRA** : no but legit u guys all obviously know about the robot we found a few days ago ya

  
**ANA** : that’s my bird buddy

  
**ANA** : i love them

  
**S0MBRA** : they don’t really have a name?? we’re calling them bastion tho

  
**S0MBRA** : helped them get all situated already

  
**D.VA** : n i c e

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS ENTERED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : me bastion and orisa

  
**GENJI** : we them robois

  
**MCCREE** : roll to be a robot

  
**S0MBRA** : you guys are idiots

  
**GENJI** : hey hey

  
**GENJI** : shut up

  
**GENJI** : it’s halloween nows not the time to be a meaner

  
**MCCREE** : this guy gets it

  
**GENJI** : jesse have you seen my costume

  
**MCCREE** : no

  
**D.VA** : you COPIED ME FROM LAST YEAR

  
**GENJI** : sh sh sh

  
**MCCREE** : i swear to fuckdejjddi

  
**MCCREE** : hold on

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 

 **ANA** : you uglies are ruining my lesson

  
**GENJI** : i took his extra hat

  
**D.VA:** he’s gonna kill you dude

  
**D.VA** : plus he’s your best buddy??

  
**D.VA** : mega dead

  
**REAPER** : i see nothings really changed between you two

  
**GENJI** : nope

  
**REINHARDT** : why’s jesse the only one who gets a hat

  
**D.VA** : I WANNA HAT

  
**D.VA** : like a big ass hat

  
**D.VA** : a big ass purple hat

  
**S0MBRA** : that’s my color you ducking thief

  
**ANA** : i can’t believe hana steals ducks

  
**D.VA** : HA

  
**D.VA** : typo

  
**S0MBRA** : alright you wanna make fun of my typo

  
**S0MBRA** : i can do worse

  
**D.VA** : oh no

  
**D.VA** : oh fcuk

  
**D.VA** : heck

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS RE-ENTERED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : me, a dumbass: happy halloween  
hana, a complete and utter genius: happy h-hawwoween

  
**D.VA** : welp, good job with halloween everyone i think i’m just gonna go sleep forever now

  
**MCCREE** : you little robot asshole

  
**GENJI** : <3 love you

  
**MCCREE** : i will go to your room and rip the hat off your head

  
**GENJI** : bet you won’t

  
**MCCREE** : OH YEAH

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS EXITED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : time for fun

  
**GENJI** : not really

  
**GENJI** : oh boy

  
**ANA** : he’s gonna miss the LESSON

  
**S0MBRA** : you should still tell us and genji should take notes

  
**S0MBRA** : then when jesse comes to kill him they share notes like good noodles

  
**D.VA** : hey hey can i go get my costume

  
**REAPER** : yeah

  
**REAPER** : bring me something to eat though.

  
**D.VA** : one ass coming up

 

 

**[D.VA HAS EXITED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : i’ll get u some spooky food dw

  
**S0MBRA** : happy hawwoween guys

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS EXITED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : cursed

  
**GENJI** : no but ana

  
**GENJI** : please continue

  
**REINHARDT** : tis one simple rule

  
**ANA** : yes

  
**ANA** : are you ready for the lesson

  
**REAPER** : have fun with your lesson.

 

 

**[REAPER HAS EXITED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **ANA** : are you READY

  
**GENJI** : lay it on me

  
**ANA** : to eat ass

  
**ANA** : you eat ass

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS EXITED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **REINHARDT** : so wise

 

 

**[REINHARDT WILHELM HAS EXITED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : i feel cheated

  
**GENJI** : completely and utterly cheated

  
**GENJI** : happy hawwoween you assholes

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS EXITED pumpkin up the butt]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy halloween everyone!! 
> 
> 31st ch on the 31st sweet
> 
> and i actually remembered to add bastion?? it’s a miracle 
> 
> shoutout to Cap and Dash on the discord server!
> 
> Cap for the wonderful name of this chapter  
> and Dash for teaching all of us how to dnd  
> <3 <3
> 
> hope yall have a nice ass spooky day
> 
>  want an invite to the discord server? dm me on twitter/tumblr!! 
> 
> find me places yo  
> tumblr: @ dark-night-skye !  
> twitter: @ gaycowboi !


	32. dickcember: space edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how do you celebrate the holidays on the moon? it’s a mystery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special announcement about twitter/tumblr at the end notes!!

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS ENTERED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : okay i know this holiday aint ideal to yall but we gotta buck up and deal with it

  
**MCCREE** : gotta admit it’s pretty wild

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS ENTERED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : “aint ideal”

  
**GENJI** : it’s december

  
**GENJI** : tis the season and all that

  
**GENJI** : and we’re ALL on the moon

  
**MCCREE** : okay so it sucks

 

 

**[D.VA HAS ENTERED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : WTF

  
**D.VA** : it’s actually rlly cool??

  
**D.VA** : aside from being on a mission, but for now we’re free to do whatever till we gotta be deployed

  
**D.VA** : most of the others started decorating and stuff already

 

 

**[PHARAH HAS ENTERED pumpkin up the butt]**

 

 

 **PHARAH** : More precisely angela and my mother have started decorating

  
**PHARAH** : Our jobs are to not do anything because we can’t be trusted.

  
**PHARAH** : Direct quote from mother

  
**MCCREE** : she’s finally learned

  
**PHARAH** : Tbh

  
**PHARAH** : This could be worse

  
**PHARAH** : We’re in space, it’s a gays only event

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS PINNED THE MESSAGE: We’re in space, it’s a gays only event (PHARAH)]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : ha we’re in a galaxy far far away

  
**D.VA** : okay all the holidays are cancelled now thanks genji

  
**GENJI** : i can reference whatever i want WHENEVER I WANT

  
**PHARAH** : :/

  
**PHARAH** : No

  
**MCCREE** : an amari said it, it’s final

  
**D.VA** : may genjis references rest in peace

  
**GENJI** : we’re in space tho it feels like a star wars mood today

  
**MCCREE** : i wanna disagree with you so badly but you’re right

  
**D.VA** : i swear some of us binged it before

  
**GENJI** : yeah and we can again

  
**PHARAH** : I agree

  
**MCCREE** : star wars: claiming space for the gays for almost a century

  
**D.VA** : iconic

  
**PHARAH** : I mean we’re on the moon rn

  
**PHARAH** : Which is a huge lesbian

  
**GENJI** : she said it so it has to be true

  
**D.VA** : flying mom, the wisest of them all

 

 

**[PHARAH HAS CHANGED THE CHAT NAME TO gays in space]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : [[IMG_3681]](https://www.dropbox.com/s/hrcqvc9svlq4wgs/uaresafenow.jpg?dl=0)

  
**MCCREE** : fareeha, ye olde wise gay

  
**PHARAH** : You’re welcome.

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ENTERED gays in space]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : hola

  
**S0MBRA** : so uh, anyone else in a die hard-esque situation today

  
**S0MBRA** : at least non moon ppl

  
**D.VA** : w t f

  
**D.VA** : explain

  
**GENJI** : UNFAIR

  
**GENJI** : IF ANYONE, THAT SHOULD HAPPEN TO ME AND JESSE

  
**MCCREE** : ^ preach

  
**S0MBRA** : oh im sorry do you want to be locked in a mall with a ton of bad dudes

  
**MCCREE** : no comment

  
**PHARAH** : What’s the situation like there?

  
**S0MBRA** : i think i’m the only one non hostage

  
**S0MBRA** : maybe 30 civilians hostage, 13 baddies

  
**S0MBRA** : they’re just going into each store and kiosk individually and taking the money lol

  
**S0MBRA** : well originally there was 17 i took out 4

  
**D.VA** : murder during the holidays isn’t good!! ):<

  
**D.VA** : but they’re bad so

  
**S0MBRA** : rofjkdskke i just tied them up and questioned them

  
**S0MBRA** : que mierda hold on

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 

 **PHARAH** : That’s pretty intense

  
**GENJI** : she has to be wearing a tank top

  
**D.VA** : im sure the cowboy thing was appreciated

  
**MCCREE** : =|:)

  
**MCCREE** : yippe ki yay

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS RE-ENTERED gays in space]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : kk called in a teeny tiny favor

  
**S0MBRA** : adding someone to the gc i SWEAR after this no more talon

  
**D.VA** : babe,,

  
**S0MBRA** : mi conejito i PROMISE

  
**S0MBRA** : 100% sombra guarantee

  
**PHARAH** : This chatroom is definitely unsafe for any mission specifics now.

  
**GENJI** : i agree

  
**GENJI** : but it’s not like they can get on the moon so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ADDED MOIRA O’DEORAIN TO gays in space]**

 

 

**[MOIRA O’DEORAIN HAS ENTERED gays in space]**

 

 

 **MOIRA** : When you said you’d add me to the Overwatch server I just assumed you were joking

  
**S0MBRA** : nope it’s the real deal

  
**S0MBRA** : say hiiii

  
**MCCREE** : is

  
**GENJI** : moira moira

  
**MCCREE** : blackwatch moira

  
**MOIRA** : Genji, Jesse

  
**MOIRA** : A pleasure

  
**MOIRA** : (:

  
**MCCREE** : still a master of the menacing happy face

  
**S0MBRA** : oh ya 

  
**S0MBRA** : blackwatch ties

  
**GENJI** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

  
**D.VA** : how’s she gonna help u tho??

  
**MOIRA** : It’s already been taken care of, I extracted her from said mall

  
**MOIRA** : After she made me help her

  
**MOIRA** : Help all the hostages.

  
**S0MBRA** : this was payment

  
**MOIRA** : All 4 of you in this chat and you leave poor old me out

  
**MOIRA** : Tragic

  
**D.VA** : hello??? i love this person already???

  
**PHARAH** : The doctor from Blackwatch, yes?

  
**MOIRA** : The one and only

  
**S0MBRA** : scary doctor lady

  
**S0MBRA** : ANYWAY

 

 **S0MBRA** : yes i was wearing a tank top

  
**S0MBRA** : no i didn’t take a gun to my back

  
**MCCREE** : not really die hard then smh

  
**D.VA** : at least ur safe tho <33

  
**S0MBRA** : <3333

  
**PHARAH** : This is odd, but it does suck that not everyone is here with us

  
**PHARAH** : Like Sombra and Gabriel

  
**MCCREE** : yeah but still

  
**MCCREE** : yall can just look up at the sky at night

  
**GENJI** : that’s so fucking cheesy.

  
**GENJI** : i love it

  
**MOIRA** : I see you two haven’t changed

  
**GENJI** : sombra she’s still scary right

  
**D.VA** : ive never seen her before but i have a feeling she’s scary like a pta mom named karen who has a kid who’s allergic to nuts so she’s making sure that all the snacks at the dance don’t have nuts

  
**PHARAH** : You know a scary Karen too?

  
**MOIRA** : Don’t we all have a scary Karen in our lives

  
**MCCREE** : well in your case you’re the scary karen

  
**GENJI** : im gonna go give you a high five

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS GONE IDLE]**

 

 

 **MOIRA** : Is he really doing it

  
**MOIRA** : Why am I asking

  
**PHARAH** : What are you two planning on doing back on Earth?

  
**S0MBRA** : actually going back to our base

  
**S0MBRA** : party time

  
**MOIRA** : Only because you convinced everyone it was a good idea 

  
**MOIRA** : With my help of course

  
**MCCREE** : what did you make a presentation on how parties are good for groups

  
**MOIRA** : 48 slides on how group activities raise moral among said group

  
**MOIRA** : No one payed attention after the 5th slide so they just caved and agreed

  
**S0MBRA** : genius

  
**MOIRA** : I know

  
**MCCREE** : hold up high fiving

  
**D.VA** : 1-10 how sick was it

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS RE-ENTERED gays in space]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : 3884489392848492

 

 **MOIRA** : That’s pretty sick

  
**MOIRA** : But anyway, I believe we should get going Sombra

  
**MOIRA** : We’ve been trusted to do the shopping too

  
**S0MBRA** : send me the list por favor

  
**MOIRA** : Fine

  
**MOIRA** : [[IMG_4810] ](https://www.dropbox.com/s/8uen4wtqx6zogq4/talon_party.jpg?dl=0)

  
**PHARAH** : The only actual food item there is bread

  
**S0MBRA** : sounds like a real party to me

  
**D.VA** : what kinda bread tho

  
**MOIRA** : Rye

  
**MCCREE** : definitely a killer party

  
**MCCREE** : plus rainbow cups

  
**MCCREE** : nice touch

  
**MOIRA** : Thank you

  
**MOIRA** : Come now Sombra, we’ll go get this out of the way

  
**S0MBRA** : kk

  
**S0MBRA** : adioooos

  
**S0MBRA** : mi conejito, tell satya i said hi too

  
**S0MBRA** : and give her a smooch for me

  
**D.VA** : will do <3

  
**S0MBRA** : <3

  
**MOIRA** : Talk to you all later

 

 

**[MOIRA AND S0MBRA HAVE EXITED gays in space]**

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS ENTERED gays in space]**

 

 

 **ANA** : don’t have time to read the chat, but i see moira back so i have several questions

  
**ANA** : anyway, common room everyone

  
**ANA** : PARTY TIME

 

 

**[ANA AMARI HAS EXITED gays in space]**

 

 

 **D.VA** : !!

  
**PHARAH** : I’ll see you all there!

 

 

**[D.VA AND PHARAH HAVE EXITED gays in space]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : ill race you

  
**GENJI** : 1 2 3 GO

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS EXITED gays in space]**

 

 

 **MCCREE** : unfair

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS EXITED gays in space]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy holidays yall!!  
> hope everyone’s having a wonderful time this season 
> 
> in other news i saw the last jedi last week and i’m still smad  
> but i would fight the sun for poe dameron
> 
> anyway, new chapter finally! srry bout the kinda random updates, planning other fics and stuff plus school  
> moira joins the fight too 
> 
> thanks for reading!! 
> 
>  
> 
> !!IMPORTANT!!  
> i’ll prolly be using twitter a lot for polls and stuff relating to the fic so follow if u can pls  
> also feel free to dm me on either twitter or tumblr for an invite to the discord server! 
> 
> tumblr: @ dark-night-skye  
> twitter: @ vsoftpunk


	33. issa psa

hey so just a quick announcement relating to discord (don’t worry yall next chapter gonna be up by valentine’s day) 

 

but yeah, the server is now 16+ in order to make sure the kiddies be kiddies 

 

 

so if you’re 16+ feel free to join!! everyone’s super sweet there 

 

<https://discord.gg/6wMhmaG>

 

if the link isn’t working feel free to message me on twitter or tumblr (@vsoftpunk / @dark-night-skye) accordingly 

 

 

love yall!! 

 

-skye 


	34. you know blackwatch had to do it to em

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GENJI: that made me physically distraught 
> 
> MCCREE: but why did he have to do it to em 
> 
> GENJI: jesse please tell me that you get it

**[JESSE MCCREE AND GENJI SHIMADA HAVE ENTERED gays in space]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : why is it always us two in here 

 

 **MCCREE** : easy it’s like that best friend mind connecting thing 

 

 **GENJI** : like twin telepathy? 

 

 **MCCREE** : oh yeah that’s what it’s called 

 

 **GENJI** : jesse that’s between twins 

 

 **GENJI** : are we twins

 

 **MCCREE** : thankfully no 

 

 **GENJI** : exactly 

 

 **GENJI** : it only works with twins 

 

 **MCCREE** : that’s dumb as shit though 

 

 **MCCREE** : like i’ve been around you for what like 10 years now 

 

 **GENJI** : minus the whole yknow 

 

 **GENJI** : blackwatch and overwatch getting all fucked up thing 

 

 **MCCREE** : real fucked up 

 

 **MCCREE** : but yeah basically

 

 **MCCREE** : that twin things bullshit cause you and me always know the same bullshit 

 

 **GENJI** : the real jesse would never say it’s bullshit 

 

 **MCCREE** : man you’re right almost forgot 

 

 **MCCREE** : same genius 

 

 **GENJI** : thank you 

 

 **GENJI** : but yeah i think we qualify under the twin shit basically 

 

 **GENJI** : but not really 

 

 **MCCREE** : exactly 

 

 

**[MOIRA O’DEORAIN HAS ENTERED gays in space]**

 

 

 **MOIRA** : I see that you two share the usual bullshit. That’s nice. 

 

 **MOIRA** : Maybe it’s because of your time in Blackwatch. After all, I believe that Jesse was the main reason you somewhat warmed up to the team.

 

 **MCCREE** : if your definition of warmed up is just tolerate then sure 

 

 **GENJI** : i didn’t just tolerate 

 

 **GENJI** : i appreciated the sentiment 

 

 **GENJI** : but the whole cyborg thing was really weird and i was still figuring out how to cope 

 

 **GENJI** : have i ever formally apologized for being an asshole? 

 

 **MOIRA** : Not to my knowledge. 

 

 **MCCREE** : not formally but little apologies over the years 

 

 **MCCREE** : basically equals one big ass apology 

 

 **GENJI** : nice 

 

 **GENJI** : but anyway 

 

 **GENJI** : i, genji shimada, coolest cyborg ninja 

 

 **GENJI** : am very sorry for being an asshole 

 

 **GENJI** : even though it was VERY justified 

 

 **MOIRA** : Quite an apology. 

 

 **GENJI** : :) 

 

 **MCCREE** : but yeah you did warm up to us so it’s all good 

 

 **MOIRA** : Like an angry little cat. 

 

 **GENJI** : i was scarier than a little cat 

 

 **MCCREE** : i think we all were 

 

 **MOIRA** : Easily. 

 

 **MOIRA** : Plus we looked much cooler than Overwatch itself. 

 

 

**[REAPER HAS ENERED gays in space]**

 

 

 **REAPER** : looked? we still do. 

 

 **REAPER** : we all know that team goth wins every time. 

 

 **GENJI** : does that make overwatch prep

 

 **MOIRA** : Yes. 

 

 **MCCREE** : i thought we were joths 

 

 **REAPER** : interchangeable. 

 

 **GENJI** : would both stand for butch goth 

 

 **MOIRA** : Pronounced like goth correct? 

 

 **GENJI** : of course 

 

 **MOIRA** : Now it does. 

 

 **MOIRA** : But still, we did look very nice. 

 

 **GENJI** : remember that time in venice 

 

 **GENJI** : very shitty situation, but wow we looked cool as fuck

 

 **MCCREE** : true 

 

 **MCCREE** : jeez that’s a real trip down memory lane 

 

 **REAPER** : how about we don’t. 

 

 **MCCREE** : nah lets 

 

 **MOIRA** : Still bitter I see. 

 

 **MCCREE** : my turn for the menacing happy face 

 

 **MCCREE** : :) 

 

 **GENJI** : oh no that’s how we know it’s gonna get wild 

 

 **MCCREE** : literally blackwatch kept everything under wraps 

 

 **MCCREE** : “oh no lemme shoot this guy out a window” 

 

 **MCCREE** : i have every right to still be bitter 

 

 **MOIRA** : Well. 

 

 **MOIRA** : You know he had to do it to em. 

 

 **REAPER** : moira. 

 

 **REAPER** : how do you even think they would get that. 

 

 **GENJI** : that made me physically distraught 

 

 **MCCREE** : but why did he have to do it to em 

 

 **GENJI** : jesse please tell me that you get it 

 

 **MCCREE** : course i do 

 

 **MCCREE** : i was trying to make it seem like i didn’t to be funny 

 

 **MCCREE** : cause yknow this is the time for a joke moira 

 

 **MOIRA** : You’re both usually the ones who dissolve conflict. 

 

 **MOIRA** : At least from what I could gather from the chatroom.

 

 **MOIRA** : I just took that place. But I see I wasted my humor here. 

 

 **REAPER** : it was good. 

 

 **MCCREE** : in any other circumstance i would have been surprised and proud 

 

 **MCCREE** : but shit dude 

 

 **REAPER** : you know i had to do it to em. 

 

 **REAPER** : was gonna happen one way or another. you just happened to be there and see it. 

 

 **GENJI** : i mean we DID kill people 

 

 **GENJI** : i guess that mission was just weird because that wasn’t even the plan 

 

 **MCCREE** : exactly 

 

 **MCCREE** : and it just seemed like you had that idea already in your head 

 

 **MCCREE** : which is what pissed me off and still does 

 

 **MOIRA** : Yes, things did go off the rails, but it was nothing we weren’t prepared for. 

 

 **MCCREE** : which is why i’m still harping on it 

 

 **MCCREE** : yall probably had some side shit going on that no one informed me on 

 

 **MCCREE** : which is not how shit should have been 

 

 **MOIRA** : Alright. We were all there, we know what happened and what it lead to. Honestly, if I knew this is what would have happened I would have stayed out of the chatroom. 

 

 **GENJI** : can’t we just go back to the joth and prep discourse that was way more fun 

 

 **MCCREE** : no sure by all means

 

 

**[JESSE MCCREE HAS EXITED gays in space]**

 

 

 **GENJI** : well he’s pissed 

 

 **GENJI** : great job all around team 

 

 **GENJI** : i’m starting to remember how shitty blackwatch actually was

 

 **GENJI** : minus looking cool as hell

 

 

**[GENJI SHIMADA HAS EXITED gays in space]**

 

 

 **MOIRA** : Well, that was quite the show. 

 

 **REAPER** : can’t blame him.

 

 **REAPER** : i would have been pissed too if it wasn’t me who did it. 

 

 **REAPER** : and everything going on around that time. 

 

 **MOIRA** : Spare the details, remember who’s chatroom it is after all. 

 

 **REAPER** : not an idiot, i know. 

 

 **REAPER** : at least we can all agree that the overwatch uniforms looked dumb. 

 

 **MOIRA** : Extremely. 

 

 **MOIRA** : Captain Amari was the only one who pulled it off though. 

 

 **REAPER** : wow not even angela? 

 

 **MOIRA** : No. 

 

 **MOIRA** : Not Morrison either. 

 

 **REAPER** : hate to agree. 

 

 **REAPER** : that coat looked dumb.

 

 **MOIRA** : Isn’t that just the pot calling the kettle black. 

 

 **REAPER** : shut it. 

 

 **MOIRA** : Your cape is a goth cape, so it’s automatically more acceptable.

 

 **MOIRA** : Though still definitely a cape. 

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS ENTERED gays in space]**

 

 

 **S0MBRA** : oye mi familia 

 

 **S0MBRA** : i love how you take the goth with you from blackwatch to talon 

 

 **S0MBRA** : i don’t think i could handle having a talon uniform 

 

 **S0MBRA** : that would be gross 

 

 **MOIRA** : Yes, but don’t the “bad guys” usually have cooler uniforms? 

 

 **MOIRA** : In cartoons and such. 

 

 **REAPER** : always. 

 

 **REAPER** : talon uniforms wouldn’t be prep disasters. 

 

 **S0MBRA** : wait so we need to figure this out for sure 

 

 **S0MBRA** : overwatch is 100% prep 

 

 **MOIRA** : Wait hold on. 

 

 **MOIRA** : [[IMG_7893]](https://www.dropbox.com/s/d6j39c46geyh31a/facts.jpg?dl=0)

 

 **MOIRA** : I’m positive I’m right but feel free to correct me.

 

 **REAPER** : no it’s perfect. 

 

 

**[TRACER HAS ENTERED gays in space]**

 

 

 **TRACER** : Prep makes us sound like losers ): 

 

 **MOIRA** : Duh. 

 

 **S0MBRA** : quick team goth! escape!! 

 

 

**[S0MBRA HAS EXITED gays in space]**

 

 

 **MOIRA** : All preps are losers, this is common knowledge. 

 

 

**[REAPER AND MOIRA O’DEORAIN HAVE EXITED gays in space]**

 

 

 **TRACER** : Blue is nice to look at though 

 

 **TRACER** : Aren’t dark colors supposed to be threatening?? 

 

 **TRACER** : Fashion is weird, I’ll just ask Emily for her advice :D 

 

 

**[TRACER HAS GONE IDLE]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow a chapter during exam season, im dying scoob  
> but heck i love blackwatch sm man  
> wrote this instead of playing the event on the last day,, enjoy!!
> 
>  
> 
> twitter: @vsoftpunk  
> tumblr: @dark-night-skye

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Emily Is Away](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10920582) by [Game_of_Thorns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Game_of_Thorns/pseuds/Game_of_Thorns)
  * [The Overwatch Chatroom](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13451271) by [ZeeIsGay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeeIsGay/pseuds/ZeeIsGay)
  * [Power Rangers and Villains Chatrooms](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14432595) by [MissMercyCat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMercyCat/pseuds/MissMercyCat)




End file.
